Neuro-Linguistic Programming

What is it? Neuro… …the way we experience the world through our senses and translate those sensory experiences into thought processes (conscious and unconscious) which in turn activates the neurological system Linguistics… …the way we use language to make sense of the world and then communicate that experience to others Programming… …the way we 'code' (mentally represent) our experience and adopt regular patterns of response

History and Development 1970s, Richard Bandler & John Grinder, US Pioneers claimed many benefits - can cure phobias, depression, common cold, learning disorders Scepticism - limited evidence that it improves health outcomes – religious comparisons Historic Uses - psychotherapy Modern uses – hypotherapy, leadership training and coaching, public speaking, sports, sales

How does it work? Our behaviours are a result of our beliefs combined with our own understanding of reality – our programming. Explores the links between neurological processes and language and behaviours learned through experience  NLP provides structure for change that enables the coach to look behind the content at what actually drives the behaviour Seeks to achieve behaviour change by finding the positive connotation of a thought or behaviour

Principles or ‘Presuppositions’ of NLP Interacting with others Personal Development & State Management General Principles Take responsibility for how others respond to you. (‘The meaning of your communication is the response you get‘) Enhance your behavioural and attitudinal flexibility. (‘In any interaction the person with the greatest behavioural flexibility has most influence on the outcome‘) NLP is a model rather then a theory – and it is the study of subjective experience. Act as if people have all the mental and emotional resources they need even if they do not currently recognise this. Act as if there is a solution to every problem. NLP is a generative rather than a repair model – it emphasises finding solutions rather than analysing causes – and in NLP we always add choices, rather than take these away. Discover the other person’s perceptions before you begin to influence them. (‘Meet people in their own unique model of the world‘) Recognise the other person’s Identity or Self Image – by distinguishing between their behaviour and their identity or self image. Mind and body are part of the one system Recognise that in any situation a person is making the best choice with the resources which they currently perceive as being available to them. Act as if every behaviour is/was a means of fulfilling a positive intention, at some level, in a person’s life. All human behaviour has a structure Recognise that each person’s ‘truth’ is true for them even if it differs from your ‘truth’ – since any person’s internal view of reality is just that – a ‘version’ of reality. (‘The map is not the territory‘) Redefine mistakes as feedback – and change what you are doing if what you are doing is not working. External behaviour is the result of how a person uses their representational systems. Recognise that people interact with their internal versions of reality rather than with pure, sensory-based, input. If one human can do something then, potentially, anyone can. Conscious mind capacity is very limited – supposedly to around 5-9 chunks of information.

The 4 Pillars of NLP Sensory acuity… …taking in of information and creating experiences and interactions with others. Being curious and alert to the effect of what you do Behavioural flexibility… …you have choices. By looking at situations from different angles - uncovers more info and gives more choice Rapport… …respecting and accepting others Outcome orientation… …paying attention to what you want not what you don't want

Using NLP in Coaching Building rapport Gleaning information (e.g. through Meta Model questions) about present state and define desired state. Paying particular attention to verbal and non-verbal responses Consider consequences of desired outcomes, impacts, potential issues and positives Assisting coachee to achieve desired outcomes by using tools and techniques to change internal representations and responses to stimuli Future paced - 'step into’ the future and describe how it feels having achieved outcomes

Meta-Model a set of questions designed to specify information, challenge and expand the limits to a person’s model of the world responds to the ‘distortions’, ‘generalizations’, and ‘deletions’ in the speaker’s language. draws on transformational grammar and general semantics - the idea that language is a translation of mental states into words, and that in this translation, there is an unconscious process of: deletion (not everything thought is said) distortion (assumptions and structural inaccuracies) generalization (a shift towards absolute statements) Likewise in hearing, not everything said is acknowledged as heard.

Examples Categories Thought / Response Coaching Questions DISTORTIONS Mind Reading: Claiming to know someone’s internal state “You don’t like me.” “How do you know I don’t like you?” Lost Performative: Value judgments where the person doing the judging is left out. “It’s bad to be inconsistent.” “Who says it’s bad?” “According to whom?” “How do you know it’s bad.” Cause/Effect: Where cause is wrongly put outside the self. “You make me sad.” “How does what I’m doing cause you to choose to feel sad?” “How Specifically?” Complex Equivalence: Where two experiences are interpreted as being synonymous “She’s always shouting at me, she doesn’t like me.” “How does her yelling mean that she..?” “Have you ever shouted at someone you liked?” Presuppositions “If my husband knew how much I suffered, he wouldn’t do that.” How do you choose to suffer?” “How is he (re)acting? “How do you know he doesn’t know?” GENERALIZATIONS Universal Quantifiers: Universal Generalizations such as all, every, never, everyone, no one, etc. “She never listens to me.” “Never?” “What would happen if she did?” Modal Operators: a. Modal Operators of Necessity: As in should, shouldn’t, must, must not, have to, need to it is necessary. Ex: b. Modal Operators of Possibility: (Or Impossibility.) As in can/can’t, will/won’t, may/may not, possible/impossible. “I have to take care of her.” “I can’t tell him the truth.” “What would happen if you did?” (“What would happen if you didn’t?” Also, “Or?” “What prevents you?” (“What would happen if you did?”) DELETIONS Nominalizations: Process words which have been frozen in time, making them nouns. “There is no communication here.” “Who’s not communicating what to whom?” “How would you like to communicate?” Unspecified Verbs “He rejected me.” “How, specifically?” Simple Deletions: Lack of Referential Index: Fails to specify a person or thing. Comparative Deletions: As in good, better, best, worst, more, less, most, least. “I am uncomfortable.” “They don’t listen to me.” “She’s a better person.” “About what/whom?” “Who, specifically, doesn’t listen to you?” “Better than whom?” “Better at what?” “

How to use the Meta Model Treat it as a tool for listening.  What is said out loud is the tip of an iceberg – and what lies under water is a huge amount of thinking, believing, feeling, evaluating, and so on. Determine if the situation and your relationship with the person is right for using the Meta Model - and get their permission to use it Listen for which category they use most. Ask questions to encourage the person to explore the thinking behind what they are saying Be very clear that your aim is not to get them to admit to being “wrong” in their thinking.  Your aim is to get them thinking about their thinking.

Why develop Meta Model skill? It improves our ability to: Better understand people and what's behind their problem behaviours Identify how best to motivate colleagues and customers Communicate clearly and unambiguously Coach people in finding their own solutions to difficult situations

References 2007, Linder-Pelz, S. and Hall, M., The theoretical roots of NLP-based coaching, The Coaching Psychologist, Vol 3, Issue 1. 2008, NLP Training – Meta Model, NLP World, http://www.nlpworld.co.uk/nlp-training-meta-model/ 2011, Dove, J., NLP and coaching, http://www.coachingformore.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/NLP-and-coaching.pdf 2016, Caroll, M., An overview of the Meta Model and explanation of the five distortion categories NLP Academy, http://www.nlpacademy.co.uk/articles/view/An_overview_of_the_Meta_Model_and_explanation_of_the_5_distortion_categorie/ How to use the NLP Meta Model, Pegasus NLP, https://nlp-now.co.uk/use-nlp-meta-model/ Life coaching with the NLP Meta Model, Pegasus NLP, https://nlp-now.co.uk/nlp-meta-model-coaching/ What is NLP? Excellence Assured, https://excellenceassured.com/nlp-training/what-is-nlp 18 Fundamental Principles of NLP, Pegasus NLP, https://nlp-now.co.uk/the-fundamental-principles-of-nlp/