Ephesians 4:1-6 1 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.

III. The Making of a Church – The Pursuit with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love…(4:2) A. “With All Humility…” What is humility? “lowliness of mind.” “a right and reasonable opinion of one’s own importance, rank and dignity.”

III. The Making of a Church – The Pursuit with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love…(4:2) B. “with all…gentleness…” What is gentleness? “mild, gentle” “power under control.”

Luke 23:33-34 “33 When they came to the place called The Skull, there they crucified Him and the criminals, one on the right and the other on the left. 34 But Jesus was saying, ‘Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.’ And they cast lots, dividing up His garments among themselves.”

Proverbs 16:32 “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.”

Gentleness Gentleness is an aspect of the “fruit of the Spirit” (Galatians 5:23) and therefore is an indication of the Spirit of Christ at work in you. Gentleness is the opposite of revenge or vindictiveness. Gentleness is a yielding to the Word and Will of God, regardless of what the outcome may be. Gentleness is a willingness to forgive and restore those who have sinned against you or the church (Galatians 6:1).

Gentleness Gentleness is not responding to lost sinners according to their sin, but with calm yet persistent presentation of the gospel. Gentleness is the practice of Christ-likeness, who was/is “gentle.” Jesus said this of Himself in Matthew 11:29, “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.”

III. The Making of a Church – The Pursuit with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love…(4:2) C. “…with patience…” What is patience? “to be of long or enduring temper” “long-fused”

1 Thessalonians 5:14-15 “14 We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15 See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.”

Chrysostom Speaking of patience: “It is the spirit which has the power to take revenge, but never does.”

III. The Making of a Church – The Pursuit with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love…(4:2) D. “…showing tolerance for one another in love…” What is showing tolerance for one another? “holding oneself up against another person” “the practice of accepting people just as they are…” What is… “showing tolerance for one another in love”? “love” – an unconditional act of the will that seeks the highest good for another, regardless of the cost and all to the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a “4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails….”

What love is/what love looks like: LOVE IS... being willing to have your life complicated by the needs and struggles of others without impatience or anger. LOVE IS... actively fighting the temptation to be critical and judgmental toward another while looking for ways to encourage and praise. LOVE IS... making a daily commitment to resist the needless moments of conflict that come from pointing out and responding to minor offenses. LOVE IS... being lovingly honest and humbly approachable in times of misunderstanding.

What love is/what love looks like: LOVE IS... being more committed to unity and understanding than to winning, accusing, or of being right. LOVE IS... a making a daily commitment to admit your sin, weakness, and failure and to resist the temptation to offer an excuse or shift the blame. LOVE IS... being willing, when confronted by another, to examine your heart rather than rising to your defense or shifting the focus.  LOVE IS... making a daily commitment to grow in love so that the love you offer to another is increasingly selfless, mature, and patient.

What love is/what love looks like: LOVE IS... being unwilling to do what is wrong when you have been wronged, but looking for concrete and specific ways to overcome evil with good.  LOVE IS... being a good student of one another, looking for their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs so that in some way you can remove the burden, support them as they carry it, or encourage them along the way.  LOVE IS... being willing to invest the time necessary to discuss, examine, and understand the relational problems you face, staying on task until the problem is removed or you have agreed upon a strategy of response.

What love is/what love looks like: LOVE IS... being willing to always ask for forgiveness and always being committed to grant forgiveness when it is requested.  LOVE IS... recognizing the high value of trust in a relationship and being faithful to your promises and true to your word.  LOVE IS... speaking kindly and gently, even in moments of disagreement, refusing to attack the other person’s character or assault their intelligence.  LOVE IS... being unwilling to flatter, lie, manipulate, or deceive in any way in order to co-opt the other person into giving you what you want or doing something your way.

What love is/what love looks like: LOVE IS... being unwilling to ask another person to be the source of your identity, meaning, and purpose, or inner sense of well-being, while refusing to be the source of theirs.  LOVE IS... the willingness to have less free time, less sleep, and a busier schedule in order to be faithful to what God has called you to be and to do as a believer, a spouse, a parent, a child, a worker, a neighbor, etc.  LOVE IS... a commitment to say no to selfish instincts and to do everything that is within your ability to promote real unity, functional understanding, and an active pursuit of another person’s highest good in your relationships.

What love is/what love looks like: LOVE IS... staying faithful to your commitment to treat another with appreciation, respect, and grace, even in moments when the other person doesn’t seem deserving or is unwilling to reciprocate.  LOVE IS... the willingness to make regular and costly sacrifices for the sake of a relationship without asking for anything in return or using your sacrifices to place the other person in your debt.  LOVE IS... being unwilling to make any personal decision or choice that would harm a relationship, hurt the other person, or weaken the bond of trust between you.

What love is/what love looks like: LOVE IS... refusing to be self-focused or demanding, but instead looking for specific ways to serve, support, and encourage, even when you are busy or tired.  LOVE IS... daily admitting to yourself, the other person, and God that you are unable to be driven by a such a divine love without God’s protecting, providing, forgiving, rescuing, and delivering grace.

Ephesians 4:2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love…