Unit 3 Etiquette & Culture (chapter 6&7) Nancy Tu

objectives After the study of this unit, you’ll be able to: tell the basic concepts of etiquette; tell the components of etiquette; tell the differences between Chinese and western etiquette; master some important rules in modern etiquette.

What is Etiquette?(1) Proper Behavior 礼节 Politeness 礼貌 Procedure of ceremony 仪式 Appearance 仪表

What is Etiquette? (2) Listen to a dialogue and try to fill in the following blanks. Etiquette is a set of ________ that allow us to interact with others in a ________ _______; and treating other people with ______ and ________; and making them feel _________ with you. rules civilized manner courtesy respect comfortable

Focus 日常交流 衣着服饰 餐桌礼仪 Daily Communication Dressing and Ornaments Table Manners Getting along with People 待人接物 商务活动 Business Activities 送礼礼仪 Gifts Giving *

Focus 日常交流 衣着服饰 餐桌礼仪 Daily Communication Dressing and Ornaments Table Manners Getting along with People 待人接物 商务活动 Business Activities 送礼礼仪 Gifts Giving *

Difference in Greeting: Chinese: “Have you eaten ?” Westerners: “No. Why? You want to invite me for a meal?”

How to greet people properly ? Question How to greet people ? How to address people ? How to greet people properly ? How to express goodbye ?

Differences and Conflicts

Chinese How to address people ＊nick name ＊last name + profession (title) ＊use “师傅” to call attention ＊use “亲” in B2C business transactions on net

How to address people Western ＊say excuse me to call attention ＊ address people with their professional status ＊ address names among family members ＊ aunt or uncle for close relation

How to greet people Chinese ＊Have you eaten ? ＊Where are you heading for ? ＊Call me!

Western How to greet people ＊How are you today? ＊Good morning! ＊You look pretty in this new dress.

Chinese How to say goodbye be my guest when you are free! ＊Come to my home and be my guest when you are free!

How to say goodbye Western ＊Goodbye! ＊ Have a nice day!

Contrasts and Origins

Chinese Daily Communication Western Daily Communication Discuss: Why we are so different? (pair work in 3 minutes) Chinese Daily Communication Western Daily Communication 1.使用“大爷大妈，大哥小妹”等称呼 2. Have you eaten? 3. Come to my home and be my guest when you are free! 1. David, Mike, etc. 2. Good morning! 3. Have a nice day! VS

Contrasts and Origins 大爷大妈，大哥小妹 David, Mike 外部节能市场 David, Mike Each person is part of a group; “we” Identity is based on the social network. Respect the elderly and love the young. Ancient China had very clear distinction about people’s relation. Each person is separate from others; “I” Identity is based on the individual. People are born equal and have equal rights. Western society doesn’t have very distinctive line of people’s relation.

Contrasts and Origins Have you eaten ? Good morning! 民以食为天 外部节能市场 Have you eaten ? Good morning! 民以食为天 China has experienced hard time for the lack of food. Westerners have no particular feeling about food. Keep privacy.

Contrasts and Origins Be my guest! Have a nice day! Show courtesy. Chinese people are hospitable. Good wishes. Western people pay more attention to privacy protection.

Critical Thinking: communication taboos for western people How can Chinese people and Western people communicate with each other comfortably? Do you know their taboos? Discuss with your partners in 5 minutes and make a list.

How to talk with westerners? (taboos) When you’re not so familiar with each other. The following six topics are not supposed to be asked. politics and religion income age family members health personal experience

What can we talk about? (good topics) As a social expert, the following topics are very good to start a chat. weather beautiful country food sports music TV program, movies, stars, etc.

modern etiquette for greeting How to shake hands? How to introduce people? How to exchange name card?

About shaking hands Listen to the following conversation and fill in the blanks. To refuse to shake hands is extremely ___________. ___________ ___________ is a vital part of doing business. If you’re unable to shake hands because of illness and injury, you should _________ and _______ immediately. insulting Exchanging handshakes apologize explain video: how to shake hands

A handshake means a lot! Shaking hands means a lot not only in business areas but also in political situations.

Who should extend hand first? a lady or a gentleman? the lady the younger or the elder? the elder an inferior or a superior? the superior the host or the guest? the host (when the guest comes) the guest (when the guest leaves)

How to shake hands? You can only use your right hand for a handshake. gently or firmly? gently: you’re weak and distant. firmly: you’re warm but may be too aggressive or offensive.

How to shake hands warmly? Hold the other person’s hand with your both hands? Yes, you can. It means you’re very warm and sincere and the person you’re holding hands with is your close friend. You can even pat his shoulder with your left hand and hold his or her hand with your right hand.

Shake-hands Questions: How should a man shake a woman’s hand? He should only touch her fingers softly. Can I shake hands with a person while sitting? No. You must stand up to shake hands. But if you’re a lady, you can sometimes extend your hand to a man while sitting.

Shake-hands Tips: A man should take off his gloves or hats and then shake hands. A lady can shake hands while wearing gloves and hats. An armyman wearing his service cap should first salute and then shake hands. Don’t shake hands across the others. It will cause bad luck.

How to introduce a person? Who should be introduced to whom? a lady and a gentleman? The gentleman should be introduced to the lady. the younger and the elder? The younger should be introduced to the elder. the inferior and the superior? The inferior should be introduced to the superior. the guest and the host? The guest should be introduced to the host.

introductions May I introduce Mr. Cohen? Tom, this is Jeff. I’d like introduce you to … I’m very glad to have the opportunity to meet you. It’s a great pleasure to have the honor of making your acquaintance. I’ve heard so much about you. I’m Peter Johnson, may I know your name?

Exchanging name cards How to give your name cards? You smile and walk to the other person and extend your name cards with both hands. Turn your name card upside down so that the other person can read your name. 名片的交换要领：面带微笑，走到使对方容易接到的距离，双手递给对方。注意要将名片倒过来，把自己的名字向着对方。

How to receive name cards? Say “thank you”. Read through the name card first. If you’re not sure about the pronunciation of the name, just ask him or her. Put the name card in the card file or a card case. Don’t play with the name card. Don’t put the name card in your pocket, especially back in your trousers’ pocket.

Interaction & coexistence: suggestions Intercultural communication suggestions: When communicate with westerners, Chinese people should always keep privacy in mind and avoid the actions which will offend them. Westerners also should respond politely when they are asked “unusual” questions with more understanding about Chinese way of doing things.

Focus 日常交流 衣着服饰 餐桌礼仪 Daily Communication Dressing and Ornaments Table Manners Getting along with People 待人接物 商务活动 Business Activities 送礼礼仪 Gifts Giving *

ancient time Chinese Western

modern time Chinese Western

Clothing Principles (TOP) T: time O: Occasion P: Place evening dress outing casual clothes office business suits banquet

Dress for funerals at a wedding Chinese Western

Dress for funerals at a funeral Chinese Western

dress according to different situations Dressing: most formal situations:(banquet or social activities) formal situations:(business activities) semi-formal situations:(office) informal situations:(travel, entertainment, etc.)

Party ware most formal situations

Dressing: most formal situations 1 (banquet or social activities) Women: evening dresses, banquet dresses or woman’s cheongsam & shawls diamond or pearl necklace & earrings high-heeled leather shoes handbag no trousers or short skirts men

Dressing: most formal situations 2 (banquet or social activities) Men: men’s formal attires swallowtails dark suit in three white shirt & dark ties or cravat black cow skin leather shoes & dark socks white silk handkerchief

Dressing: formal situations 1 (business activities) women: daytime suits, coordinated suits, business suits or daytime dresses high-heel shoes no toeless or backless shoes stockings men

Dressing: formal situations 2 (business activities) Men: formal business suit no casual business suit white shirt of good quality dark leather shoes & dark socks dark ties

Dressing: semi-formal situations 1 (office) Women: long skirts or daytime suits women’s shirts & long trousers no short skirts or sleeveless tops or backless and sleeveless dresses no jeans or short trousers leather shoes men

Dressing: semi-formal situations 2 (office) Men: dark suits white long-sleeved shirts tie dark shoes & dark socks no pants or short sleeved shirts

Dressing: informal situations (travel, entertainment, etc.) Women & Men: comfortable casual lightweight clothes, such as jackets, lightweight sweaters, jeans or pants. or sports jackets colorful or bright color casual leather shoes or sports shoes

Contrasts and Origins

Chinese Dressing Western Dressing Contrasts Chinese Dressing Western Dressing 1. feel comfortable 2. three dimensional 3.dress differently for different occasions 1. look pleasant 2. plane design 3. to be neat and clean is preferred VS

look pleasant feel comfortable Contrasts and Origins look pleasant 外部节能市场 feel comfortable ＊ Chinese people pay more attention to a harmonious atmosphere with the surroundings. ＊Dress for others. ＊女为悦己者荣 ＊In ancient Egypt and Rome people were just wrapped in a piece of cloth. ＊Value freedom spiritually and physically.

＊reserved sense of beauty ＊make people look tall Contrasts and Origins plane design 外部节能市场 three-dimensional ＊reserved sense of beauty ＊make people look tall ＊suits the facial outline of Chinese people ＊ open ＊ freedom ＊ highlights curve of a female body

not particular about occasion Contrasts and Origins suit purposes 外部节能市场 not particular about occasion ＊neat and clean ＊Economy needs more improvements. ＊T.P.O. (time, occasion, place) ＊ Follow rules and respect laws.

Interaction and Coexistence Part 3 Interaction and Coexistence

Interaction With the frequent contact between Chinese and westerners both sides stick to their dress code and absorb the positive aspects of one another.

tie -- soul of business suits 平结为最多男士选用的领结打法之一，几乎适用于各种材质的领带。 要诀--领结下方所形成的凹洞需让两边均匀且对衬。

十字结(半温莎结) 此款结型十分优雅及罕见，其打法亦较复杂，使用细款领带较容易上手。 最适合搭配在浪漫的尖领及标准式领口系列衬衫。

Part 4 Critical Thinking

What occasion does this dress suit? Critical Thinking What occasion does this dress suit? Is it more like Chinese style or western style and state your reasons.

Focus 日常交流 衣着服饰 餐桌礼仪 Daily Communication Dressing and Ornaments Table Manners Getting along with People 待人接物 商务活动 Business Activities 送礼礼仪 Gifts Giving *

What troubles Chinese and Westerners ? Question What troubles Chinese and Westerners ? Reference How to sit properly? How to eat graciously? Any dos and don’ts? *

1. 文学作品 Table Manners PART 1: Differences and Conflicts PART 2: Contrasts and Origins PART 3: Interaction and Coexistence PART 4: Assignment *

Differences and Conflicts *

Seating Chinese the room facing the door together ＊round table ＊host sits in the interior of the room facing the door ＊left is honored ＊males and females can sit together *

Seating Western ＊ host and hostess sit at the opposite ends ＊square table ＊ host and hostess sit at the opposite ends ＊ right is honored ＊male and female sit next to each other *

＊plate, bowl, glass, chopsticks, spoon ＊Do not stick the chopsticks in Tableware Chinese ＊plate, bowl, glass, chopsticks, spoon ＊Do not stick the chopsticks in the rice bowl. ＊Do not play with chopsticks like drum sticks. *

＊plate, knives, forks , glasses ＊Use them from outside to inside Tableware Western ＊plate, knives, forks , glasses ＊Use them from outside to inside ＊Sip the soup from the side of the spoon. *

actively-urge drinking atmosphere Chinese ＊active ＊ Host proposes the first toast , then guests can propose toasts to each other. ＊Talk freely; discuss heatedly ＊ Urge each other to drink. actively-urge drinking *

＊ Do not urge other people to drink. atmosphere Western ＊ eat quietly ＊ Pass food around. ＊ Talk in a proper voice. ＊ Do not urge other people to drink. quietly-help oneself *

Contrasts and Origins *

Contrasts Chinese Table Manners Western Table Manners 没有图片的。 2选1 Chinese Table Manners Western Table Manners 1. Left is honored 2. Chopsticks 3. Active 1. Right is honored 2. Knife and Fork 3. Quiet VS *

From ancient time on, left is honored. Contrasts and Origins Left 外部节能市场 Right From ancient time on, left is honored. More powerful officials take left positions in court. Right side is safe. Christians believe that right hand is perfect. *

North China is rich in woods. South China is rich in bamboo. Contrasts and Origins 外部节能市场 Chopsticks Knife and fork North China is rich in woods. South China is rich in bamboo. Life is on horseback. Meat is the main course. *

Pass food to one another No disturbance Showing respect Harmony Contrasts and Origins active 外部节能市场 quiet Harmony Unity Closeness Happiness Pass food to one another No disturbance Showing respect Harmony *

about western food and table manners

Banquet: How to use knife and fork? Fork left, knife right or the other way round? Continental way or American way?

Banquet: tips 1 How to use the table napkin? Put it on your laps instead of under your neck. Don’t use it as a handkerchief. How to use the toothpicks? Let’s have another toast. Say when. When, I’m beginning to feel high. Gift: a bottle of wine

Banquet: tips 2 Can we drink as much as we can? You’d better drink only one third of your normal liquor capacity. If you’re drunk and made a fool of yourself, you should apologize to the host the next day. Usually, we can only pour two third of the whole glass at most. Because the rest one third of the glass is left for the bouquet of the wine.

Banquet: tips 3 Can we smoke after the dinner? You’d better not unless the host did it first. If you have to, you should ask permission from the host and your neighbors, especially from ladies. Do you mind my smoking? No, please go ahead. Smoking is bad for your health and teeth.

How to order? Should we order something cheap to save money for the host? No, it may embarrass the host. Should we order some expensive dishes? No, it may also make the host feel bad. Let the host order first and then order accordingly. “I’ll have what you’re having.”

Banquet: How to drink soup? How to use a spoon? Will you use it laterally or vertically? How to drink very hot soup? Can I blow it ? Can I stir it to cool it? more

Drinking soup Listen to the following conversation about drink soup and fill in the blanks. "I spoon my soup away from me" means you spoon the soup toward the _____ of the bowl and then bring the spoon _____ to your mouth. Spoon the soup toward the _____ or _____ of the bowl and then bring the spoon _____ to your mouth; ________ is considered bad manners in Western etiquette; if the soup is too hot, _____ it slightly or simply wait; tip your bowl away from you to _______ the last spoonful of soup. front back center front back slurping stir retrieve

how to eat bread? Listen to the following conversation and fill the blanks. Bread goes on your bread and butter ______ which is on your _____ above the forks; to eat bread, don't _____, but _____ ____ a small piece, ______ it if you like and eat it and continue until you are _________ or have ______ the whole thing. plate left bite tear off butter satisfied eaten

Arrange the order of courses: salad & bread -- dessert -------- soup ----------- coffee ---------- fish ------------- meat & -------vegetable (2) (5) (1) (6) (3) (4) 汤和餐前小吃鱼和海鲜肉和蔬菜 餐后甜点咖啡

traditional three-course dinner

traditional five-course dinner choose correct dishware: bread & butter salad fish potato pudding meat red wine champagne wine soup

Interaction and Coexistence 图片是否需要固定？ Part 3 Interaction and Coexistence *

Sift the wheat from the chaff. Keep eyes open and mind open. Interaction Sift the wheat from the chaff. Keep eyes open and mind open. *

Part 4 Assignment

What are the best table manners in a globalized society ? Assignment What are the best table manners in a globalized society ? *

Focus 日常交流 衣着服饰 餐桌礼仪 Daily Communication Dressing and Ornaments Table Manners Getting along with People 待人接物 商务活动 Business Activities 送礼礼仪 Gifts Giving *

Case American students all bought their own meals when they went dinner together, which made the Chinese students feel surprised.

How to get along with people ? Question How to get along with people ? Reference Who treats the others ? How do they deal with time ? How to express “thanks” ?

1. 文学作品 1. Etiquette and Social Contact PART 1: Differences and Conflicts 1. 文学作品 PART 2: Contrasts and Origins PART 3: Interaction and Coexistence PART 4: Critical Thinking

Differences and Conflicts

Chinese Who treats the others ? ＊Friends hold the meals in turn. ＊In big gatherings for former classmates, the bill is shared by all members. ＊Company colleagues in big cities are accustomed to go Dutch.

Western Who treats the others ? ＊Separate the bills when friends meet for a talk. ＊Some home meals are arranged by telling every guest to take a dish with him.

Chinese How to treat time ? ＊Chinese people cherish time as something precious like gold or jade. ＊Time is not as pressed as westerners view it. ＊An early friend for dinner parties is acceptable and may become a helping hand.

Western How to treat time ? ＊Time is money. ＊Appointments are fixed by time. ＊Westerners value punctuality. ＊Dinner parties are prepared to start and finish at a certain time.

How to express thanks ? Chinese Western They never hesitate to express thanks whenever someone offers help. They say less “thank you!”, but remember the gratitude and reward later.

Contrasts and Origins

Chinese Interpersonal Western Interpersonal Contact Contrasts Chinese Interpersonal Contact Western Interpersonal Contact 1.Host the meals in turn. 2. Time is precious. 3. less “Thank you!” 1. separate bills 2. Time is money. 3.always“Thanks” VS

＊Rewarding gratitude in action is more practical. Contrasts and Origins less “thank you!” 外部节能市场 always thanks ＊keep feelings inside. ＊Rewarding gratitude in action is more practical. ＊They are open and free to show feelings in words. ＊Every helpful deed deserves thanks.

Schedule time carefully Contrasts and Origins Time is not so pressed. 外部节能市场 Schedule time carefully ＊ Time is a circle and seems endless. 年年岁岁花相似， 岁岁年年人不同。 ＊ Time moves in a line. Time is an arrow.

＊care more about the group interest ＊individualism Contrasts and Origins host the meal in turn 外部节能市场 separate bills ＊collectivism ＊care more about the group interest ＊individualism ＊being independent

Interaction and Coexistence Part 3 Interaction and Coexistence

Interaction People from different parts of the world have more contacts nowadays and maybe showing a big smile is a good start.

Part 4 Critical Thinking

Critical Thinking How to make friends with people from different cultural background and do you have any suggestions?

Focus 日常交流 衣着服饰 餐桌礼仪 Daily Communication Dressing and Ornaments Table Manners Getting along with People 待人接物 商务活动 Business Activities 送礼礼仪 Gifts Giving *

Case To know etiquette essentials in business activities is necessary for a successful deal.

What should you do in business activities ? Question What should you do in business activities ? Reference Meet a business partner Propose a toast Proceed business negotiations

1. 文学作品 Etiquette and Social Contact PART 1: Differences and Conflicts PART 2: Contrasts and Origins PART 3: Interaction and Coexistence PART 4: Critical Thinking

Differences and Conflicts

Meet a business partner Chinese a firm and steady handshake with a smile and sincere eye contact

Meet a business partner Western Besides a warm handshake, westerners also kiss others’ cheeks.

＊propose toasts frequently ＊clink glasses to raise atmosphere Propose a toast Chinese ＊propose toasts frequently ＊clink glasses to raise atmosphere ＊not joining a toast is considered unsociable

Propose a toast Western ＊toast for a good health or a happy Christmas etc. ＊make eye contact, smile and drink ＊not as much clinking as Chinese people do

Proceed business negotiations Chinese ＊ A negotiation team is composed of members of different ranks. ＊ As the negotiation proceeds, Chinese companies can shift members. ＊ When the manager finally appears, the negotiation approaches the end.

Proceed business negotiations Western ＊A negotiation team is composed of members specializing in different fields. ＊ Every team member has a say.

Contrasts and Origins

Chinese Business Activities Western Business Activities Contrasts Chinese Business Activities Western Business Activities 1. a warm handshake 2. frequent toast with clinking; every kind of drink is ok 3. Negotiation team leader has the biggest say. 1.a warm handshake + cheek-kissing 2.toast usually with no clinking; champagne serves the purpose 3.Every team member has a say. VS

a warm and steady handshake 外部节能市场 a warm handshake & a kiss ＊conservativeness of Chinese people ＊kissing is impossible in a society with a clear distinction of ranks and set of strict rules of etiquette ＊open to show inner emotions ＊kissing as a way of greetings is a tradition 这一页和下一页二选一，个人喜欢这页！

happy and noisy toasting moderate toasting Contrasts and Origins happy and noisy toasting moderate toasting 外部节能市场 ＊把酒论英雄 ＊李白斗酒诗百篇 A romantic sense and good will are attached to drinks. ＊ not related with romance and culture ＊ Drinks are only something to accompany different dishes. 这一页和下一页二选一，个人喜欢这页！

＊In ancient China, the society is strictly ranked. Contrasts and Origins A team leader controls. Every member has a say. 外部节能市场 ＊In ancient China, the society is strictly ranked. ＊ Nowadays, the lower rank deal with the early stage matters. ＊Westerners value efficiency of work. ＊Long history of democracy determines that every one has a say.

Interaction and Coexistence Part 3 Interaction and Coexistence

Interaction Countries co-operate on different terms and basis with suggestions and concessions on all sides.

Part 4 Critical Thinking

What information do you think is necessary before a Critical Thinking What information do you think is necessary before a company makes the first approach to establish business relations with another company?

Focus 日常交流 衣着服饰 餐桌礼仪 Daily Communication Dressing and Ornaments Table Manners Getting along with People 待人接物 商务活动 Business Activities 送礼礼仪 Gifts Giving *

Differences and Conflicts

Chinese What gifts to choose ? occasions gifts wedding money offers great help something expensive close friends useful, needed visit a friend’s home fruits

Western What gifts to choose ? nationality gifts French love and uniqueness ( flowers) American friendship and warmth English don’t like expensive gifts

Chinese What to say in presenting gifts ? ＊It is only a little present. ＊Please accept it!

What to say in presenting gifts ? Western ＊This gift is very special to me. ＊I tried several stores and finally decided to buy it.

What to do after receiving the gifts? Chinese Western ＊Put the gift aside. ＊Open the wrapping after the sender leaves. ＊Open the wrapping. ＊Praise the gift and thank the sender.

Contrasts and Origins

Chinese Presenting Gifts Western Presenting Gifts 1. expensive; money 2. only a humble gift 3. put aside 1.not expensive 2.special gift; hard to buy 3.open the wrapping directly VS

not expensive; special Contrasts and Origins expensive; money not expensive; special 外部节能市场 ＊More grateful a person feels towards another more expensive the gift is. ＊money-practical spirit ＊inborn romance ＊value uniqueness and warmth

＊ being modest: 满招损，谦受益 ＊feel shameful to praise one’s own gifts Contrasts and Origins 外部节能市场 only a little gift a special gift ＊ being modest: 满招损，谦受益 ＊feel shameful to praise one’s own gifts ＊ reveal true feelings ＊ being overmodest is hypocritical 伪善的； 虚伪的

＊avoid being considered greedy ＊reveal true feelings Contrasts and Origins open the wrapping put aside 外部节能市场 ＊avoid “喜形于色” ＊avoid “乐极生悲” ＊avoid being considered greedy ＊reveal true feelings ＊Showing happiness and appreciation for the gifts is a kind of respect for the others.

Business Gifts: what to give? Good choices are: quality writing instruments, branded whisky, picture books about one’s city, region or county and products one’s home country is famous for.

Business Gifts: when to give? In Europe, gifts are given after the agreement is signed. In Japan and most other Asian countries, gifts are given at the end of the meeting. Note that North America is not a gift-giving culture. Many American negotiators feel uncomfortable if presented with an expensive gift.

Business Gifts: how to give? In Japan, the wrapping of the gift is at least as important as the gift itself. In Japan and the rest of Asia, people present and receive any gift with both hands, except in Thailand where the present is handed over with one right hand supported by the left. In North & South America, the gift will more likely be opened immediately.

Interaction and Coexistence Part 3 Interaction and Coexistence

People present gifts in their own ways but all mean well. Interaction People present gifts in their own ways but all mean well.

Part 4 Critical Thinking

Suppose your female friend from England just Critical Thinking Suppose your female friend from England just gave birth to her first child last week , what gifts will you buy for her?

Homework Read Chapter 6&7. Case Study: Group Presentation Watch the movie The Princess Diaries, compare and contrast western and Chinese table manners and dressing etiquette. The presentation should be 5~10 minutes.