The "Yesable" Proposition Wednesday Webinar The "Yesable" Proposition Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016

Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 IOA St.Louis, April 2007 To Begin Me - Who am I and why am I here? You - Who are you and why are you here? Purpose - Why we are here together? ME – 20 years in consulting, training and human communication suprt Masters in Conflict management. Negotiation is the foundation of that. The center point WHY ARE YOU HERE - One MOMENT- Write it down. A Conflict, Challenge or Negotiation One Question You had a choice to be here at TODAY you will I hope advance your own knowledge and ability 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 ICANN / Pacifica copyright

Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Purpose November 15, 2005 Helping others say ‘Yes’ to our asks is (A BIG) part of success. Expanding this capacity facilitates: Goal attainment Relational capital Innovation Personal satisfaction Talk about Framework. Talk about Not being negative topic 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Session Goals November 15, 2005 Consider WHO we need to say ‘YES’ and WHY don’t they say ‘YES’ now Learn a repeatable process to plan, craft, and enact the ‘ASK’ that leads to a ‘YES’ Share tools and resources to support your on-going efforts Answer questions|address needs Does this sound like a good way to spend the hour? If you got this would you be pleased? Satisfied? ECSTATIC? 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 IOA St.Louis, April 2007 How Me - Who am I and why am I here? You - Who are you and why are you here? Purpose - Why we are here together? Methods Engage Exchange Encourage Enact TODAY you will I hope advance your own knowledge and ability METHOD – BACK AND FORTH…dialogues roles – engae with me. I will be pointed and direct I will also do all I can to “give” the answers. Some are really simple to say. These answers are less easy to do…. But that comes after today. 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 ICANN / Pacifica copyright

Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 What We Are Pursuing November 15, 2005 Def: “Proposal or offer that will invoke an acceptance or that leaves little room for refusal because it is stated in such a way as to appeal to the offeree's interests, concerns, and values.” But is it just giving up our interests? Is it only about theirs? Absolutely NOT. Source: Yesable Proposition. (2002). In D. Yarn (Ed.), Dictionary of conflict resolution 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Proposition vs Proposal Early Idea November 15, 2005 Proposition vs Proposal When you see those two words – do they feel the same? Any nuance? 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Sometimes people do not say ‘YES’ Our Challenge November 15, 2005 Sometimes people do not say ‘YES’ It’s a really simple word… And sometimes we really really want it. But then it does not happen. Do you know that feeling/Recall it? 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Lead others to say ‘YES’ to our propositions Our Need November 15, 2005 Lead others to say ‘YES’ to our propositions FRAMING OF HELP – Propositions 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

We need to know Who they are + Why they don’t Say ‘YES’ To Meet Our Need November 15, 2005 We need to know Who they are + Why they don’t Say ‘YES’ +admit to it ! 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Who doesn’t say ‘YES’ November 15, 2005 Who says NO to your propositions? Leader, manager? Colleague, teammate? Volunteer, donor, community partner? Spouse|significant other, parent, child, sibling? Other? How would you put it? This is the personal side. Answer it for your self….it is particular and personal 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Why They Don’t November 15, 2005 Why do they (too often) not say ‘Yes’? Nothing ‘in it for them?’ They do not understand what you offer? Disagree with your plan or point of view? They don’t like you? They are powerful and can do what they like? Other? How would you put it? This is the personal side. Answer it for your self….it is particular and personal 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Lead others to say ‘YES’ to our propositions Our Need November 15, 2005 Lead others to say ‘YES’ to our propositions FRAMING OF HELP – Propositions 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

We need a process To help them say YES To Meet Our Need November 15, 2005 We need a process To help them say YES +admit to it ! 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 A Framework 2/15/2018 4 Basic Points: 1. People See the other as part of the proposition 2. Interests Focus on interests, not positions 3. Options Generate many possibilities before choosing 4. Criteria Use objective standards for what you offer Sounds complicated. But the stages are simple Adapted from Getting to Yes, by Roger Fisher 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 A Framework - Options 2/15/2018 Sounds complicated. But the stages are simple Source: Getting to Yes, by Roger Fisher 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Preparation Process November 15, 2005 ME-TH-O-D ME Establish your interests and BATNA Determine your intensity and flexibility THEM Look for interests behind the other’s positions and persona Describe the issue from the other’s point of view UNPACK BEST ALTERNATIVE 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Application - Preparation November 15, 2005 ME-TH-O-D Outside Look at the offer from the balcony as a camera Apply objective standards to what you offer Details Commit to communicating for best possible outcome Revisit and confirm approach/plan Commit = WRITE IT DOWN 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

MAKE IT EASY FOR OTHERS TO SAY ‘YES’ The Point November 15, 2005 MAKE IT EASY FOR OTHERS TO SAY ‘YES’ By including them Making it about them 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 The Point November 15, 2005 Prepare well, thinking of both your interests, and theirs. Generate abundant options that make sense to all, not only you or the other. PREPARE 2x times delivery 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Consider and Close November 15, 2005 Reactions? Questions? From here. . . 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Resources November 15, 2005 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Resources November 15, 2005 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 November 15, 2005 Thanks SCANPO All of you And the GREAT PEOPLE who give us so many chance to SAY NO 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC © 2005

Contact John W. Zinsser Co-founder + Principal Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. 240.401.8742 Jzinsser@conflictbenefit.com http://pacificahumancommunications.com/ 2 March 2016 Pacifica Human Communications, LLC. © 2016