Improved parent and child communication Based on Haim Ginnot’s classic Between Parent and Child Presented by Kellie Hill, M.S., L.P.C. and Lindsey Taylor

About Kellie Grew up in NY Graduated from UST with a B.A. in education Graduated from UHCL with a M.S. in Counseling Counselor for 9 years 3 daughters all at Carpenter Divorced parent Runner

About lindsey I have a 22 month old son, and I am married to a firefighter Graduated with my bachelor’s degree in Interdisciplinary Studies from Texas A&M University This is my 5th year to teach 4th grade at Carpenter Elementary I will be graduating from UHCL in December of this year with my degree in Counseling I attended Deer Park schools growing up

Overview 1. About Haim Ginnot 2. Lessons to guide parent Listening Acceptance of feelings Guidance –vs- criticism How to handle anger Praising Granting wishes Choice and voice 3. Questions and comments

Haim Ginnot Clinical psychologist, child therapist, parent educator 1st book was Between Parent and Child originally published in 1965 The first resident psychologist on the Today Show Before becoming a psychologist, he was a teacher in Israel “While psychotherapists may be able to cure, only those in daily contact with children can help them to become psychologically healthy.” “I’ve come to a frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It’s my personal approach that creates the climate. It’s my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or dehumanized.”

“No parent wakes up in the morning planning to make a child’s life miserable.”

The beginning of wisdom is listening Keep an open mind and open heart, listen to all truths pleasant or unpleasant. Positive example: “Oh, I see.” “I appreciate you sharing your strong feelings.” Negative example: “What a crazy idea!” “I don’t want to hear another word about it!”

How could you respond to the child to acknowledge his/her feelings? Acknowledge Feelings NEGATIVE EXAMPLE Instead of denying feelings, acknowledge. You can’t take away someone’s feelings right or wrong. Do not deny perception. Child: “The water is too cold! And I don’t feel so well.” Parent: “The water is fine. You’re just scared. The pool is heated, but you have cold feet.” How could you respond to the child to acknowledge his/her feelings?

Instead of criticism use guidance State the problem and possible solution “The book needs to be returned to the library. It’s overdue.” “Why didn’t you return the book to the library on time. You’re so irresponsible Positive Example Negative Example

When angry,describe your feelings and what you expect Start with the pronoun “I”