Loneliness in Marriage Scale Gwenaëlle Philibert-Lignières1,2 and Ami Rokach PhD1,3 York University1 ,McGill University2, Center for Academic Studies in Israel3

The loneliness in marriage scale (LIMS): Intro Intimacy  often protector against social isolation but not loneliness (Rokach & Sha’Ked, 2014) Loneliness  subjective experience of one’s perception of being emotionally isolated from others (Peplau & Perlman, 1982) Loneliness and Intimacy  If expectations to be cared for and feel intimately connected to one’s partner are not met, individuals can feel unwanted and rejected (L’Abate, 2011) Negative outcomes  Feelings of abandonment and rejection (Becvar, 2006)/ Loss of emotional and social support (Dykstra & de Jong-Grieveld, 2004)/ Divorce (Amato, 2000)

The ‘LIMS’: Rationale of the study Marital therapy  Loneliness is a recurrent theme To best of our knowledge  No instruments for specifically measuring whether people in intimate relationships experience loneliness as related to their relationship. Validated tools to measure general loneliness: UCLA-Loneliness Scale [ULS; Russell, Peplau, & Ferguson, 1978] Social and Emotional Loneliness Scale for Adults [SELSA-DiTommasso & Spinner, 1993]

The ‘LIMS’: Description 24 items experience of loneliness and intimacy (e.g. I felt that I was not fulfilling my part in the relationship; I felt that I was taken for granted). Likert-scale starting from 1 (Totally not describes my situation) to 6 (Totally describes my situation) Final scores range from 24 to 150  the higher the score, the lonelier a person feels in their relationship. The instructions are “to think about a specific time or period in which you felt lonely in a close relationship” and rate each statements based on what you felt or thought at that time. The LIMS measures three different factors: detachment, hurt, and guilt High internal consistency (α = .96).

The ‘LIMS’: 3 Factors Hurt Factor Detachment Factor Guilt Factor “I felt a deep sense of pain” “I was very tense” “I felt hurt” Detachment Factor “My husband/partner had no time for me” “I felt that I was taken for granted” “I wondered whether we are suitable” Guilt Factor “I felt that I was not fulfilling my part in the relationship” “I felt guilty for my misdeeds in the marriage/relationships” “I felt that I was not worthy of his love”

The ‘LIMS’: Objectives of the study Demographic Differences Examine potential differences in the experience of detachment, hurt, and guilt when feeling lonely in a relationship based on demographic variables Gender, marital status, age Hypothesis (based on literature): Gender  Female higher scores in all 3 factors (willingness to disclose personal information and admit feelings) Marital status  Single and separated individuals will have higher scores in the 3 factors (no intimacy to protect against feelings of loneliness) Age  Older individuals may have higher scores in the 3 factors (increased feelings of loneliness associated with increase in age)

The ‘lims’: sample and procedure General population and university students Ontario and Quebec, Canada 370 participants (females n=211) 18 to 82 years old (M = 31.96, SD = 13.37) 35% single, 32% married, 7% separated, and 26% currently in a relationship Approved by York University’s research ethics board Participants were asked to complete the LIMS via paper and pencil or online format + Demographic information questionnaire

The ‘Lims’: Results-Gender MANOVA between the 3 factors (Hurt, Detachment, Guilt) and gender (Male, Female) The dependent variables were significantly affected by gender Hurt factor Female respondents scored significantly higher on the Hurt factor [M = 3.156, SD = 1.465] than male respondents [M = 2.709, SD = 1.455]. Detachment factor Female respondents scored significantly higher on the Detachment factor [M = 3.107, SD = 1.1.456] than male respondents [M = 2.596, SD = 1.207] Guilt factor No significant differences between sex of respondents and their score on the Guilt factor Lower scores on the guilt factor for both gender may represent less inclined to accept wrong doing in the relationship and rather feel like the victim when lonely

The ‘Lims’: Results-Marital status MANOVA between the 3 factors (Hurt, Detachment, Guilt) and Marital Status (single, in a relationship, married, separated) The dependent variables was significantly affected by Marital Status Hurt factor Separated scored significantly higher in the Hurt factor [M = 4.147, SD = 1.611] than respondents identifying as single [M = 2.926, SD = 1.38] in a relationship [M = 2.942, SD = 1.412], and married [M = 2.843, SD = 1.483] Detachment factor Separated scored significantly higher on the Detachment factor [M = 3.783, SD = 1.559] than respondents who identified as single [M = 2.941, SD = 1.326], in a relationship [M = 2.823, SD = 1.227], or married [M = 2.713, SD = 1.449]. Guilt factor No significant differences between marital status of respondents and their score on the Guilt factor Again same idea with guilt factor that taking responsibility for negative outcome in the relationship may be less inclined regardless of marital status

The ‘Lims’: Results-Age Age groups (based on McCrae et al. 2000) 18-21(n=108); 22-29 (n=103); 30-49 (n=109); 50+ (n=50) years old There was no significant differences on the experience of Hurt, Detachment, and Guilt based on the age of the participants. Across the 4 different age groups, respondents experienced relatively similar feelings of Hurt, Detachment, and Guilt when they felt lonely in an intimate relationship.

The ‘lims’: Limitations More representative sample needed Age  Bigger ‘older’ sample Marital Status  Bigger ‘separated’ sample Personal questions  social desirability bias Current marital status may not reflect marital status at a time the respondents felt lonely in a relationship Guilt factor  Nature of items reflect “taking the responsibility of negative outcomes” Translation of the LIMS from Hebrew  Revision of some of the terminology needed

The ‘Lims’: Conclusion Pre-existing literature framed marriage and intimacy as a barrier against loneliness, more recent findings suggest that it is not necessarily the case Understanding the effects of various factors (e.g., sex, marital status, age) on the experience of detachment, hurt, and guilt, allows to better understand the nature of loneliness within intimate relationships. Using instruments such as the LIMS can help therapists and clinicians evaluate feelings of loneliness, to ultimately develop and implement appropriate interventions to improve couples’ satisfaction, connectedness and intimacy.