Parenting the Digital Generation Forming Our Kids to Safely Use the Internet

Parenting the Digital Generation Parenting – System for seeing and responding to the Digital World Five parts: Awareness, Protection, Influence, Freedom and Engagement Four challenges: pornography, bullying, gaming, self-harm Goal: form and lead our kids

Protection Human level (real world) Spiritual level (spiritual world) “war zone” Technology level (digital world)

Protection Now moment – the calls & challenges of our time are ours! Sr. Andrea – an “ordinary nun” of the Ursulines of the Agonizing Heart of Jesus in Warsaw during the German occupation in WWII She didn’t hide & didn’t run. She faced the challenge She was named Yad Vashem – Righteous Among the Nations What about us?

Protection in the Digital World Possession Passwords Parental Controls Provider (of Internet Service)

Possession What does this look like? Take the smart phone or connected devices into your possession at agreed upon times At night, when not in use, on certain days (Sunday), at specific times (when visitors are here) How do we implement it? This can apply to social events at your home create the expectation Use a contract

Possession The dynamic you should expect to encounter Resistance –as rebellion (Don’t give in! Establish boundaries to contain your kids – start there) They are Gen Z – Digital Natives – connected devices are an “extension” of their very selves They are uncomfortable, feel lost Resistance – as healthy tension in their experience of freedom (from containment to choice)

Passwords Why? Where? What? First and easiest technological layer of protection Where? Router, Computer (desktop, laptop), Tablet, Smart Phone, Smart TV, Game Console What? Memorable but not Guessable, Change them (capital letters, numbers)

Parental Controls What parental control software isn’t What parental control software is and does Net Nanny and Norton Family What devices? Computer, Tablet, Smart Phone, Smart TV, Game Consoles Smart Phone: Based on Country, Rating systems, Ages, etc.

Service Provider Layer Overarching Layer – means of accessing the internet itself Restrict use of apps, of bandwidth, time of access

Contracts: Part 2 Contracts are a powerful tool for Control Tool enables conversation It communicates your VISION and VALUES regarding the digital world

Contracts: Respectful 1. I will put my smart phone away at public gatherings, at the dinner table and during family meetings/events/prayer. 2. I will not make hurtful statements. 3. I will tell you if I receive any communication that is hurtful, disturbing or immoral. 4. I will not "like" anything that is inappropriate, rude or vulgar. 5. I will not post or send any rude, immodest or inappropriate messages, images or pictures

Contracts: Respectful 6. I will not use this smart phone to lie, deceive or fool you or anyone else. 7. I will not give out my personal information (e.g. my phone number, home address or physical location) 8. I will keep my profile "private" and my location "off". 9. I will give you access to my social media accounts at any time. 10. I will not view content that you disapprove of.

Contracts: Responsible Responsible: 1. I acknowledge that you are the owner of this smart phone and you are entrusting it to me. 2. I will put my smart phone in the charger in your bedroom at ______ p.m. on school nights and at ____ on weekends. 3. I will not "enable" or "disable" any settings without your permission. 4. I will not add apps or download songs without your permission.

Contracts: Responsible 5. If I break, damage or ruin the smart phone, I will pay for it to be repaired or replaced. 6. I will pay $___ per month for the use of the smart phone. 7. I will pay for any overage costs (for data or minutes) for each month. 8. I take responsibility for any activity that happens on my smart phone.

Contract: Consequences Connect this Contract to Consequences! Establish Rewards for responsible behavior (living out this agreement) Establish Punishments for the failure to live up to this agreement Remember: Know your child! Know that your child will fail in some way and maybe often. This Contract should change over time.

Parenting the Digital Generation Course Five Sessions Awareness Protection Influence Freedom (Cyberbullying) Engagement (Gaming)

Parenting the Digital Generation Course 2. Details Dates: Dec. 1, 9, 15 (9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT) 45 min. teaching, 15+ min. Q&A (recording available) Private Facebook Group: Questions and comments - before and between Sessions Bring your pressing situations: experts will help (60 days)

Parenting the Digital Generation Course 3. Bonus Session: Beautiful from the Inside Out Accompanying your daughter(s) on Instagram Kari and Mary Grace with Alli Date: Tuesday, Dec. 22, 6 p.m. (recording available)

Questions and Comments What did you find most striking? What did you find most helpful? What questions do you have?