5- Language 1.The Nature of Language 2. Appreciating the Power of Words 3. The Use and Abuse of Language 4. Improving Your Language Use

What makes language such a special skill in relationships?

Nature While many species communicate in one form or another, we humans are the only who use language We are born with verbal ability, but language is improved and practiced Language is a structured system of symbols used for communicating meaning Many scientists believe that language developed from early human’s use of gesture Both spoken and written words are verbal language

Language is Symbolic Words are symbols that represent our thoughts, feelings, and ideas in a specific context or relationship. Different languages use different words or symbols to represent the same idea The meaning of words can change over time and evolve

Language is Arbitrary Words mean, literally, whatever we choose for them to mean There is no representation of the idea in the sound, look, or design of the word Only exception: onomatopoeia- associating the sound to the meaning of the word (buzz, meow, splash, and click) Even onomatopoeia’s vary by language

Language is Rule Bound Phonological rules- pronunciation (tortilla) Syntactic rules- ordering of words within phrases (subject-adverb/ adjective-subject) Semantic rules-meaning of individual words (association of recognizing the idea as the word) Pragmatic rules- implications of interpretations of statements (context or tone of voice)

Language has Layers. Denotative- Literal/ Dictionary Language has Layers Denotative- Literal/ Dictionary Connotative- Suggested/ Associated Semantic Triangle Loaded Language Terms that carry strongly positive or strongly negative connotations Economic Stimulus Act vs. Bailout (Ogden & Richards)

Clarity Words are “ambiguous” and can have more than one meaning Hayakawa’s Ladder of Abstraction Words are “ambiguous” and can have more than one meaning The word “set” has 200 meanings, more than any other word in the English language Words can be more concrete (specific) or abstract (broad) Abstract Concrete

Context and Culture Sapir-Whorf hypothesis- the idea that language influences the ways that members of a culture see and think about the world Linguistic Determinism- the structure of language determines how we think (consider if there is no equivalent in a language for the word- would the idea exist?) Linguistic Relativity- because language determines our perceptions of reality, people who speak different languages will see the world differently (view fluidity and time according to words in language)

Affection and Intimacy The Power of Words Naming Persuading Credibility and Power Affection and Intimacy Comfort and Healing

Naming Impressions are influenced by names (sex, ethnicity, disposition or sense of self) Studies suggest discrimination based on names “Freakonomics” (6.42) Naming Practices Popularity Culture or Religion Family or Maiden/Married Name

Persuading Aristotle’s Argumentative Appeals or Rhetorical Proof Ethos- respectability, trustworthiness, and moral character (establish and reinforce) Pathos- emotions (enhances receptivity to new ideas/ affect opinion or behavior) Logos- ability to reason/ or judge the world based on evidence rather than emotion or intuition (relevance)

Credibility (competent & trustworthy) Cliché’s- phrase that were novel at one time but lost their effect because of overuse Dialects- variations on language shared by region or social class (“y’all”) Equivocation- disguises true intention through strategic ambiguity (“better than nothing”) Weasel Words- intended to mislead by implication (“They say”) Allness Statements- claiming without exception

Affection & Intimacy Affection- an emotional experience that includes feelings of love and appreciation that one person has for another Intimacy- characteristic of close, supportive relationships Verbal statements can communicate both

Comfort & Healing Comfort Others Comfort Ourselves Acknowledge the loss Express sympathy Offer a positive reflection Offer assistance Journaling Therapy

Humor Euphemisms Slang Defamation Profanity Hate Speech Use and Abuse Humor Euphemisms Slang Defamation Profanity Hate Speech

Use & Abuse Humor Euphemisms Makes social interaction more pleasant Defuse stress “inside jokes” reinforce intimacy Can be attractive Keep humor positive Can help others feel less embarrassed or offended Adapt to new euphemisms Overuse can lead to emotional detachment George Carlin

Use & Abuse Slang/ Jargon Defamation Establishes the in and out groups and belonging Allows more precise and efficient communication Consider those in the out- group Harms a person’s reputation or gives the person a negative image Libel- statements made in print or other fixed medium Slander- statements made vocally/ aloud in front of others

Use & Abuse Profanity Hate Speech Vulgar, rude, or obscene in the context in which it is used Makes others uncomfortable or insulted Can create informal atmosphere Can reinforce bonds in social network Form of profanity meant to degrade, intimidate, or dehumanize people on the basis of gender, national origin, sexual orientation, religion, race, disability, political or moral views Several laws and regulations exist in North America

Improving Consider the Effect you Wish to Create Separate Opinions from Fact Speak at an Appropriate Level Own your Thoughts and Feelings

The Effect Shared Knowledge Error- Presumption listeners have information they don’t Shared Opinion Error- Assumption that listeners share your opinions Monopolization Error- Inappropriately dominating the conversation

Appropriateness Know how simple or complex to speak for your listeners Do not talk over or down to your listeners

Using I-statements I-statement You-statement Exercises: pg 171-72 Claims ownership of one’s thoughts and feelings You-statement Shifts responsibility for one’s thoughts or feelings to the listener Exercises: pg 171-72