Nungua North SDA Church LOVE At Home Slide one Love Summit Nungua North SDA Church

LOVE Summit

LOVE At Home

Theme Song: SDAH# 652 “Love at Home” Slide one

#1 “Love at Home” Stanza ONE There is beauty all around, When there’s love at home; There is joy in every sound, When there’s love home. Peace and plenty here abide, Smiling fair on every side; Time doth softly, sweetly glide; There is beauty all around, When there’s love at home; There is joy in every sound, When there’s love home. Peace and plenty here abide, Smiling fair on every side; Time doth softly, sweetly glide;

Time doth softly, sweetly glide, ”Love at Home” Refrain R Love at home, Love at home; Time doth softly, sweetly glide, When there’s love home. Love at home, Love at home; Time doth softly, sweetly glide, When there’s love home.

#2 “Love at Home” Stanza TWO Kindly heaven smiles above, When there’s love home; All the earth is filled with love; When there’s love home. Sweeter sings the brooklet by, Brighter beams the azure sky; O, there’s One who smiles on high Kindly heaven smiles above, When there’s love home; All the earth is filled with love; When there’s love home. Sweeter sings the brooklet by, Brighter beams the azure sky; O, there’s One who smiles on high

Time doth softly, sweetly glide, ”Love at Home” Refrain R Love at home, Love at home; Time doth softly, sweetly glide, When there’s love home. Love at home, Love at home; Time doth softly, sweetly glide, When there’s love home.

#3 “Love at Home” Stanza THREE Jesus, make me wholly Thine, Then there’s love at home; May Thy sacrifice be mine, Then there’s love at home. Safely from all harm I’ll rest, With no sinful care distressed, Thro’ Thy tender mercy blessed, When there’s love home. Jesus, make me wholly THine, Then there’s love at home; May Thy sacrifice be mine, Then there’s love at home. Safely from all harm I’ll rest, With no sinful care distressed, Thro’ Thy tender mercy blessed, When there’s love home.

Time doth softly, sweetly glide, ”Love at Home” Refrain R Love at home, Love at home; Time doth softly, sweetly glide, When there’s love home. Love at home, Love at home; Time doth softly, sweetly glide, When there’s love home.

LOVE At Home

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LOVE At Home Slide one

Today’s Question How can we ensure that there is love at home?

The “Love at Home” Process It begins before marriage and never comes to an end

Key Points OUTLINE An understanding of Love An understanding of Dating An understanding of Courtship An understanding of marriage An Understanding of Marital Practice

An Understanding of LOVE #1  

LOVE “The Basis for A Home”

The Basis of it all: What we need to know Lord Speak

? What is LOVE Choosing a life partner

Love is a “passionate attraction and desire.” Encarta Love is a “passionate attraction and desire.”

Different Expressions of Love FILEO: (love that fosters companionship and friendship); EROS: (passionate love that normally exists between a male and a female); AGAPE: (the highest representation of love which is described in the Bible and expressed unconditionally). It is important to understand that there are different expressions for love. The words for love in the Greek language are different depending on the type of love one is talking about. We can at least talk about eros (passionate love that normally exists between a male and a female); fileo (love that fosters companionship and friendship); and agape (the highest representation of love which is described in the Bible and expressed unconditionally). At this point I will focus the attention of this article to eros love because that is the type of love that exists between males and females and is normally expressed in sexual action.

Love according to the Experts Children

Six –year Old Christy “Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs”

Seven-Year old Danny Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK

Seven year old Noelle Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday

Love is when Mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken Five year old Elaine Love is when Mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken

Seven year old Karen When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down like stars come out of you

Six year old Mark Love is when mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross

Love according to the Experts Cynics

love is “a temporary insanity curable by marriage”. Ambrose Bierce love is “a temporary insanity curable by marriage”. Ambrose Bierce will say that love is “a temporary insanity curable by marriage”.

L. E. Alston Love is like Prison, once you get in, its hard to get out. You stress, you cry, you do things you never thought you would

Love is giving someone the power to destroy you Gretchen Wilson Love is giving someone the power to destroy you

David Arroyo Love is a pain

Love according to the Experts The Bible

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins. Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins.

He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 1 John 4:8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

1 Corinthians 13: 4 - 8 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

LOVE: IS NOT UNREASONABLE True love may be unconditional, but it is not unreasonable. Love looks at all decisions taken carefully and critically. Love always makes an informed decision. Decisions made are not a result of thoughtless actions borne from unreasonable emotions and feelings for someone. Rather, a lot of thinking goes into the choices and decisions that are made. A relationship or marriage that drives you to make avoidable mistakes leading to serious disasters, all in the name of love, should be re-examined. You don't have to take detrimental decisions in the name of love: don't compromise your faith; or eat food that you are allergic to; or sleep in mosquitoes overnight; or sacrifice your dignity; or risk your life, health, and joy; all in the name of love. LOVE IS NOT UNREASONABLE! – Pastor Josiah B. Andor (Director, Paraklet Love and Life Consultancy)

LOVE: IS NOT A FEELING! Normally it becomes difficult to differentiate between true love and infatuation. One point that is worthy of note is that “true love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. On the contrary, it is calm and deep in its nature” (Ellen White, The Adventist Home, p. 51). True, there is a feeling component of love: the passion may be there; you miss a heartbeat when you see him; or your heart beats faster when you see her; you get an erection when you hear her voice; and you just can't stop thinking about him. That feeling may be there, but love can't be reduced to just the feelings, it is deeper. Strange feelings may be part of love, but love goes beyond that. LOVE IS NOT A FEELING! – Pastor Josiah B. Andor (Director, Paraklet Love and Life Consultancy)

LOVE: IS NOT BLIND Many people confuse the fact that love is unconditional to believe that love is blind. Blindness implies that love does not see the bad traits, danger signals, and unreasonable passion displayed in a particular relationship. Instead of advising itself, blind love will remain in a relationship that is heading the wrong path: an abusive relationship, an emotionally draining relationship, a relationship in which a partner possesses very bad habits, a relationship in which you only give but don't receive love back, a relationship that is only about sexual contact, a relationship in which one is being taken for granted, a relationship in which there is no compatibility, a relationship that lacks the approval of significant others (for a good reason), a relationship that has no future, a relationship that poses a danger to life, a relationship not built on trust, etc. True love will see all the bad traits, the danger signals, and the reason to either stay or quit. Watch out, LOVE IS NOT BLIND! – Pastor Josiah B. Andor (Director, Paraklet Love and Life Consultancy)

An Understanding of DATING #2  

DATING DATING

Dating The activity of going on dates: the activity of going out regularly with somebody as a social or romantic partner.

Pinning (beginning of courtship) Steps in Dating Group dating Special dating Steady dating Pinning (beginning of courtship) Steps in dating: Group dating Special dating Steady dating Pinning (beginning of courtship)

Precautions Don’t attempt to jump any of the steps Don’t become friends with personal gains in mind Don’t become friends because of attraction at first site Don’t entertain detailed touchy situations Don’t spend LONG dates Don’t pretend to be who you are not Don’t leave God out Don’t attempt to jump any of the steps Don’t become friends with personal gains in mind Don’t become friends because of attraction at first site Don’t entertain detailed touchy situations Don’t spend LONG dates Don’t pretend to be who you are not Don’t leave God out

An Understanding of COURTSHIP #3  

COURTSHIP

Courtship Prelude to marriage: the period of a romantic relationship before marriage Trying to gain somebody's love: the act of paying attention to somebody with a view to developing a more intimate relationship

Finding out as much as possible It is a Period of STUDY Finding out as much as possible

Make sure you know the person very well KNOWING YOUR PARTNER Make sure you know the person very well

Factors to Consider Mental: educational level, partners thinking process for decision making, values on time, honesty, money, truth.. Social: How does partner behave and relate to you in public, how do your families think of the relation/ any tribal reservations Spiritual: what are your spiritual values, what faith do you share, any differences in practices, how do you plan for counseling Physical: How does partner keep body, health, sexual behavior. Peculiar habits-changeable or not

IMPORTANT POINTS TO NOTE We are only friends now, not yet married, so keep your distance We have individual plans/dreams that we want to fulfill Time can effect changes in situation, physiology, mental… You should not be the cause of someone’s regrets Keep the Christian principles you believe and practice IMPORTANT POINTS TO NOTE 1. We are only friends now, not yet married, so keep your distance 2. We have individual plans/dreams that we want to fulfill 3. We are accountable to God, family/parents, society for the investment made 4. Time can effects changes in situation, physiology, mental… 5. Not to be the cause of someone’s regrets 6. Be friends to all and learn from them as they learn from you 7. Pray for your friends good and spiritual well being and maturity to stand strong in all situation 8. Keep the Christian principles you believe and practice

Which is the best arrangement? The Reversal Problem Sex, Love, Marriage Marriage, Love, Sex Sex, Marriage, Love Love, Sex, Marriage Which is the best arrangement? 5. Love, Marriage, Sex

An Understanding of MARRIAGE #4  

Biblical Foundation for Marriage Genesis 1-2 INTRODUCTION Preparation is a very important key to success in life. It is important to prepare in order to succeed. To prepare according to Encarta Dictionary, is “to take the necessary action to put something into a state where it is fit for use or action or for a particular event or purpose”. For example, before I stood here to speak the technicians had prepared the microphone and the projector. Before you came to church today, you made some preparations. Before you got married, some preparations were put in place. Preparation is important in life.

MARRIAGE “The two shall be ONE” “unequally yoked together” Josiah B. Andor   Hymns SDAH 427: No night there SDAH 428: Sweet by and by SDAH 632: Until then SDAH 626: In a little While.

An Understanding of MARITAL PRACTICE #5 Conflict Management Communication Romance

MARITAL PRACTICE “Selfless Love” “unequally yoked together” Josiah B. Andor   Hymns SDAH 427: No night there SDAH 428: Sweet by and by SDAH 632: Until then SDAH 626: In a little While.

MARITAL PRACTICE “Selfless Love” Three major areas: Managing Conflicts Effective communication Romance

MANAGING CONFLICTS IN MARRIAGE Josiah B. Andor   Hymns SDAH 427: No night there SDAH 428: Sweet by and by SDAH 632: Until then SDAH 626: In a little While.

STYLES OF HANDLING CONFLICT FOUR major styles of handling Conflict Must win INTRODUCTION Preparation is a very important key to success in life. It is important to prepare in order to succeed. To prepare according to Encarta Dictionary, is “to take the necessary action to put something into a state where it is fit for use or action or for a particular event or purpose”. For example, before I stood here to speak the technicians had prepared the microphone and the projector. Before you came to church today, you made some preparations. Before you got married, some preparations were put in place. Preparation is important in life.

STYLES OF HANDLING CONFLICT FOUR major styles of handling Conflict Must win Withdraw or Yield INTRODUCTION Preparation is a very important key to success in life. It is important to prepare in order to succeed. To prepare according to Encarta Dictionary, is “to take the necessary action to put something into a state where it is fit for use or action or for a particular event or purpose”. For example, before I stood here to speak the technicians had prepared the microphone and the projector. Before you came to church today, you made some preparations. Before you got married, some preparations were put in place. Preparation is important in life.

STYLES OF HANDLING CONFLICT FOUR major styles of handling Conflict Must win Withdraw or Yield Negotiate INTRODUCTION Preparation is a very important key to success in life. It is important to prepare in order to succeed. To prepare according to Encarta Dictionary, is “to take the necessary action to put something into a state where it is fit for use or action or for a particular event or purpose”. For example, before I stood here to speak the technicians had prepared the microphone and the projector. Before you came to church today, you made some preparations. Before you got married, some preparations were put in place. Preparation is important in life.

STYLES OF HANDLING CONFLICT FOUR major styles of handling Conflict Must win Withdraw or Yield Negotiate Resolve INTRODUCTION Preparation is a very important key to success in life. It is important to prepare in order to succeed. To prepare according to Encarta Dictionary, is “to take the necessary action to put something into a state where it is fit for use or action or for a particular event or purpose”. For example, before I stood here to speak the technicians had prepared the microphone and the projector. Before you came to church today, you made some preparations. Before you got married, some preparations were put in place. Preparation is important in life.

EEFECTIVE COMMUNICATION Communication is like “Mortar” putting together all the building blocks/bricks of any marriage or relationship

Avoid Accusations/Confrontations

Don’t Confuse your Partner

KEEPING THE ROMANCE ALIVE “Let the Love be seen”

LOVE AT HOME “Happiness for life”

Questions Comments Thoughts