The art of seduction- part 1

Basic Mind Set: I don’t need you; YOU NEED ME Basic Mind Set: I don’t need you; YOU NEED ME!!! (Make sure you have this mind set before he/she has fallen in love with you.)

Invitation After knowing this person, when should I contact him/her? Just like eating food. Eat it when it is still warm but not too hot. “Fresh” and “mysterious” feelings are important. This means, start contacting him/her after 2 to 3 days. Too soon-> showing neediness. Too late -> you will be forgotten.

Invitation Either texting, msn, facebook or calling. To the point. Not much chat. Focus more on face-to-face communication later. Be prepared before you call. Not too late/early. If there is no response, don’t keep bothering him/her. Find a good excuse for this person and for yourself too! Maybe just bad timing now. Keep in touch (once a month), so that you know when he/she breaks up with gf/bf.

Invitation An event showing your strength is the top choice. (Show your value at early stage. But not too obvious.) Always have plan B. Coffee date > meal date; daytime > night Never spend too much money on your first date. Group dating is a good start too. Even the answer is no, exact next meeting date is still an IOI (indicator of interest)!

Tips on instant messaging Knowing what to say. (Find topics which can quickly catch his/her attention. Ex: relationship with ex-bf/ex-gf.) Always pause for about 10 to 20 sec before you reply (to show you are busy). Never respond to “umm”, “ha”,… with many words False time constraint and teasing once in a while. Build rapport (having the same goal/enemy) End the conversation by yourself! (You can use taking a shower-goodbye too!!!) Tricks on getting his/her phone number. Set up a meeting no later than the 3rd contact.

Date: goals Not just chatting. You have several goals. First, make him/her think that you are a special person and potential “lover”. Second, create the chance for the next date. Third, create a positive anchor to make him/her think of you often when you are not together.

Date: location A place where you want to go originally. So it won’t hurt if he/she doesn’t show up. It is always better to invite him/her to join your world. The location should make her feel safe, relaxed, and arouse romantic feelings. If the location is near your place, you can ask her to stop by (without getting in) first. This way, it will be much more natural to invite her to get in afterwards!!!

Date: preparation Be prepared! The way your look. Know what to do/say. Do your homework: find out what he/she likes. Bring a book with you. Read it if he/she is late and let him/her know you have your own life (not needy). Even if he/she doesn’t show up, you still have a good book to read. A romantic surprise is good. But this should be done after some IOI’s.

Date: IOI examples He/she reinitiate conversation when you stop talking. If he/she laughs at your jokes (even not funny ones) -> strong IOI. He/she touches you once in a while. He/she tries to get rapport and find connection with you. He/she unconsciously mimics your moves. Notice fake IOI’s: Smiling without leaning forward.

Date: what to say Praise him/her, and be specific. Not like how handsome/beautiful you are. For example, a special decoration or those “story telling” eyes. If he/she looks great, say “it is truly a pity to look like that” (a surprise to him/her!) Then you explain: It is because people are attracted to him/her just by the look. This shows that: 1. You are special. 2. You can understand his/her personality.

Date: what to say Expressing interest in his/her favorite stuff is always a good approach. In this way a strong connection is built, and this can be a hook for the next date. Shared frames (secrets only you and he/she know) Ask about romantic experiences (disassociating with a specific person): for example, how do you know you are in love with someone? In this way he/she may link romantic feelings with your face. “My friend John …” technique. Hypnotic language and body language

Date: what to say Project onto future timeline: for example, let’s try this together next time! It can also be done in negation form: we won’t be together because I can never stand with such a bad habit! Although this sounds negative, you already made him/her imagine the possibility of being with you. Mixing praising and negging is extremely important if your target looks great.

Date: what to do Show your virtue. (No cheating, please.) Slightly touch him/her several times throughout the date, which is also a way to test IOI’s. The basic idea is to make him/her confused about your intention. Prepare a small gift for him/her. Not expansive, of course! It has to be special, and easy to carry with. In this way he/she will think of you whenever he/she sees the gift.