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Sookmyung Women’s University SELF-ESTEEM Dr. Young Kyu Moh Professor Sookmyung Women’s University

Understanding Self-Esteem How to Improve Self-Esteem: Discovering Strengths The Story of ‘The Goose Girl’

01 Understanding Self-Esteem 1.1. What is Self-Esteem? • Definitions: A judgement of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride and shame. One’s sense of ‘self-worth’ • Why is self-esteem important? : - It shows how we view the way we are and the sense of our personal value. - It affects the way we are, and the way that we act in the world, and the way we are related to everybody else - Life satisfaction, happiness, healthy behavioral practices, and academic success and adjustment are known to be associated with having high levels of self-esteem.

01 Understanding Self-Esteem 1.2. Self-esteem and leadership • Great leaders have a healthy level of self-esteem • People with a healthy level of self-esteem - Firmly believe in certain values and principles, and are ready to defend them even when finding opposition, feeling secure enough to modify them in light of experience - Do not waste time worrying excessively about either the past or the future - Fully trust in their capacity to solve problems. They ask others for help when they need it. - Consider themselves equal in dignity to others, rather than inferior or superior. - Resist manipulation - Are sensitive to feelings and needs of others

01 Understanding Self-Esteem 1.3. How to develop Self-esteem • Do not focus on one’s weaknesses, scars or sad experiences but pay attention to the positive aspects of the life of human beings such as happiness, love or strengths • It doesn’t mean that one should ignore ‘negative’ aspects and experiences • Be aware of the characteristics of low self-esteem and develop the healthy attitudes toward oneself • Avoid Heavy self-criticism, Hypersensitivity to criticism, Chronic indecision, Excessive will to please, Perfectionism, Neurotic guilt, Floating hostility, Pessimism, Envy, Heavy dependence on the approval and praise of others

01 Understanding Self-Esteem • False attempts to improve self-esteem • Resilience • Persona • Narcissism • Controversy – self-esteem as an over-generalized thinking

02 How to Improve Self-Esteem: Discovering One’s Own Strengths 2.1. The meanings of strength • definition: the positive characteristics reflected in one’s thoughts, emotions and behaviors One’s happiness is related to finding one’s own strengths and using them in one’s daily life (Seligman, 2004) • Importance: Finding strengths are more useful and effective to improve self-esteem, rather than focusing on weaknesses and trying to make up for them 2.2. Six virtues found in the human history: Wisdom and knowledge, Courage, Love and humanity, Justice, Temperance, Spirituality and transcendence / 24 strengths based on the six virtues (Peterson & Seligman, 2004)

Self-Esteem Curiosity/Interest in the World Valor/Bravery Self-Control Gratitude Love of Learning Perseverance/ Diligence Prudence/ Discretion Hope/ Optimism Critical Thinking/Open-Mindedness Integrity/ Honesty Humility/ Modesty Spirituality/ Sense of Purpose Originality/ Practical Intelligence Citizenship/Duty Teamwork/ Loyalty Kindness/ Generosity Forgiveness/ Mercy Social Intelligence/ Emotional Intelligence Fairness/Equity Loving/Allowing Oneself To Be Loved Playfulness/ Humor Perspective Leadership Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence Passion/ Enthusiasm Wisdom/ Knowledge Courage Justice Temperance Humanity Transcendence

02 How to Improve Self-Esteem: Discovering One’s Own Strengths 2.3. Practices to discover one’s strengths • Understanding one’s own strengths • Remembering the strengths • Practicing the strengths in daily life • Strengths are What excite me! (Marcus Bukingham)(2009)

03 The Story of ‘The Goose Girl’ Self-Esteem 03 The Story of ‘The Goose Girl’ • The old queen provides her daughter with “a great many precious items and ornaments and goblets and jewels, all made with silver and gold. She also gave the princess a chambermaid, the princess’s horse named Falada, and her handkerchief with three drops of her own blood. • What happen to these gifts? • What happen to the princess and the chambermaid? • How does the princess save Falada and how does Falada help the princess? • Why does the princess decide not to tell the king the truth? • Why cannot the chambermaid recognize the princess? • Why is the chambermaid blind to her own wrongdoings?

03 The Story of ‘The Goose Girl’ Self-Esteem 03 The Story of ‘The Goose Girl’ Activities to reflect and to improve self-esteem Activity 1: Writing ‘gratitude notes’ Let’s write three things for which you are grateful and share them with each other. I am grateful for _________________________________________________________________ because _____________________________________________________________________________ Activity 2: Based on the 24 strengths, choose three strengths that you think represent yourself and demonstrate the strengths. Activity 3: Based on the story of ‘the goose girl’, reflect on your own situation, in relation to the following questions: “What are the false attempts that you do to secure (or improve) your self-esteem?” “Do you have your own Falada, which reminds you of who you are?”, “If you do, what is it?”

Self-Esteem Reference Christopher Peterson, C. & Martin E.P. Seligman (2004). Character strengths and virtues: A handbook and classification. New York: Oxford University Press. Ju-whan Kim (2011). Resilience. Seoul: Wisdomhouse Publishing Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architectures of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology. 9(2). 111-131. Marcus Buckingham (2009). The truth about you: your secret to success. New York: Thomas Nelson. Inc. Martin E. P. Seligman (2004). Authentic happiness: using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfillment. New York; Atria Paperback.