Circle of Security-Parenting (COSP) Presented by: Jody Angel-Trejo, LIMHP, LPC

What is COSP and How is it Different? COSP is an 8 week attachment-based parenting class For all parents, not just those who have experienced trauma or struggle consistently with their children’s needs A very reflective and intimate experience for many parents involved Does not involve a teaching model DVD based teaching process, guided by reflection and discussion http://circleofsecurity.net/

Parent- Child Relationship Through the relationship with parents and others, infants and toddlers learn what to expect of others. Nurturing, stable and consistent environments are essential to a young child’s mental health and neural development. The state of the adults’ emotional well being profoundly impacts the quality of the relationship The Parent- Child Relationship

We are Hardwired for Relationship We can handle struggle, as long as we have access to secure attachment and connection. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R Yj7YYHmbQs That’s part of the nature….nature =hardwire and nurture=softwire…..is doesn’t require a psych degree to be a healing connection. Trauma, brain and relationships video

Circle of Security- Parenting Why Reflection Matters: Implicit (procedural) memories are the preverbal memories that we maintain in our brain and body that drive our “auto pilot” and emotional functioning when we are not intentional. The performance of implicit memories is enabled by previous experiences, no matter how long ago those experiences occurred.

Impact of Implicit Memories On Parenting and Daily Functioning When Implicit memories are activated in our day to day experience, they have no time stamp, so we interpret the emotional/visceral/perceptual and behavioral surge as being something entirely caused by an event in the here and now. People can look quite irrational when in the grips of implicit trauma memories.

Promoting Healthy Attachment: The Circle of Security™ https://blog.nebraskachildren.org/2013/07/25/circle-of-security-for- healthy-social-emotional-development/ Promoting Healthy Attachment: The Circle of Security™ Every child needs to experience “being with” her caregiver Every child needs his caregiver to be bigger, stronger, wiser and kind Seek repair when we experience a rupture Insecure Attachment- Struggles on the Top or Bottom of the Circle Disorganization: Limited Hands—Lack of being bigger, stronger, wiser and kind instead a presence of mean, weak, and gone We require connection. When it is ruptured, it needs to be repaired. When it is, on a consistent basis, we feel secure. When it’s not, we feel insecure and disorganized.

Circle of Security- Parenting Bigger, Stronger, Wiser and Kind Unregulated fear and helplessness become overwhelming for a child only when they cannot share it with someone who is Bigger, Stronger, Wiser, and Kind During a time of stress or tragedy a child’s caregiver is the center of her world and the resource who will make the difference Fear = terror and helplessness=despair

we are imperfect and wired for struggle but you are worthy of love and belonging….. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtRJXLyS0_U Bobby huggins video

Connection: -When it is ruptured, it needs to be repaired. -We require connection for growth. -When it is ruptured, it needs to be repaired. -When it is repaired, on a consistent basis, we feel secure. -When it’s not, we feel insecure and disorganized. - COSP helps parents understand this from a child’s perspective and the importance of their role with their child.

What Do Participants Learn? Strategies to strengthen the parent-child relationship How to be present with children during the best and toughest of times How to recognize a child’s needs and make sense of his or her behaviors How to meet the child’s needs by being bigger, stronger, wiser and kind How procedural memory impacts their ability to meet their child’s needs https://vimeo.com/145329119 Jamie talk here about her experience in the class Shark music video

What COSP is and What it Isn’t A reflective model, not a prescriptive model An opportunity for the participant to reflect on his/her own childhood experiences and how they impact his/her parenting behaviors An opportunity to experience “Being With” Based on a model of “good enough” parenting Katie talk here about her experience in the class

“Every child on this planet needs to have one simple reality confirmed: I matter and I matter absolutely to someone” --Kent Hoffman