Communicating as a Leader By Jamie Martin June 22, 2017

Healthy Communication Be aware that everyone has their own history, experiences, and beliefs that will influence the conversation No two perspectives are the same, individual lenses Be aware of your biases An intentional or unintentional perception or judgement “Prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared with another” (Merriam-Webster) Practice active listening Communicate honestly and openly Confrontations and conflict can be really healthy

Your Lens

Object Association On a piece of paper number 1 to 6 As I flip through the slides write what the object is and the gender you would associate with it

FLOWER https://www.pexels.com/search/flower/

MOUNTAIN https://www.pexels.com/search/mountain/

SEASHELL https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/9a/96/0d/9a960ddf9297c6e21bada9db8fd091dc.jpg

DIRT https://www.pexels.com/photo/brown-insects-30440/

HUMMINGBIRD https://www.pexels.com/photo/bird-green-hummingbird-97612/

PUPPY www.pexels.com/photo/3-tan-short-coated-puppy-on-gray-dirt-during-daytime-26128/

ROCK http://www.freepngimg.com/download/rock/7-2-rock-free-png-image.png

What are some of your biases? Think about the gender you associated with the outdoor objects What made an object male of female? What do the words and thoughts regarding the object and the gender, tell you about how you view each gender? Are there any biases that surprised you or anything you would like to be more aware of or work on? http://aviationweek.com/site-files/aviationweek.com/files/uploads/2016/03/Bias_chatchaisurakram_iStock.jpg

Biases Think about your lens and your biases as you communicate with others When addressing a situation or conversation, consider the role their lens and biases play During the conversation and after the conversation, asses the role both of your lenses and biases played in the success or difficulty of the conversation

Active Listening Activity #1 Pair up with someone not from your school Ask your partner to describe a conversation in their life that did not go the way they wanted (Don’t use names) Don’t think of a response or your next question, just listen Ask follow up questions about the conversation to gain a better understanding if necessary or of your partner needs prompting Switch

Active Listening Activity #2 Ask your partner to describe a conversation in their life that went the way they wanted (Don’t use names) Don’t think of a response or your next question, just listen Ask follow up questions about the conversation to gain a better understanding if necessary or of your partner needs prompting

Follow Up Questions What was like for you as the listener? What was it like for you as the talker? What was easy or difficult about it? If this isn’t something you practice everyday, how could you start to do it more often? When would this be helpful?

Communicate Honestly and Openly For you: Be authentic, don’t compromise who you are Be confident Be prepared Share your perspective and what is influencing you Tell them what you want and need

Communicate Honestly and Openly For them: Provide a context for understanding, not convincing Explain, don’t tell Give them the benefit of the doubt Don’t assume anything

Communication and Conflict

Confrontations and Difficult Conversations Think about what your goal is before you start What do you want them to take away from this conversation Work back from there Be prepared to take responsibility for the response you cause, regardless of your intention

Questions to Ask Yourself How do you feel? Are you in a place where you personally can have a difficult conversation? What could you lose or gain by having this conversation? What could you lose or gain by NOT having this conversation? What are you pretending not to know? Are you in denial? What is your contribution to this issue? Fierce Conversation by Susan Scott

Practice a Confrontation or Difficult Conversation Regarding Women in Leadership Situation #1: Side A: A woman should not be president Side B: A woman should be president Situation #2: Side A: Pregnancy and maternity leave interfere with the bottom line and a woman’s ability to lead Side B: Pregnancy and maternity leave do not interfere with the bottom line and a woman’s ability to lead

Moving Forward Do you think we are having healthy, quality conversations in our everyday lives? How can you use this information in your everyday life?