Revising for Sentence Fluency Effectively mixing long and short sentences

When Should I Use Long Sentence? To slow the action down To express complex ideas or reflection

Notice how the long sentences express complex ideas and create a thoughtful tone: That morning, I woke up in Aunt Chante’s spare bedroom, the one where she grew up and where she still kept her “Lionel Richie Shrine.” Lionel Richie was a singer when Aunt Chante was my age, and she still had all her posters of him on the walls and a couple of Commodores album covers thumb tacked to the paisley wallpaper. I smiled. Even though Aunt Chante was almost 40, at heart she was a teenager like me—funny and crazy with an I-don’t-care-what-you-think-of-me attitude. I knew I would like it here.

How do I create longer sentences? One way is to use a coordinating conjunction plus a comma to join two sentences: For And Nor But Or Yet So

All I wanted for my birthday was a puppy, but I knew that my mom would never allow a dog in our house. We went out to the lake in the middle of the night, and we sat out there until the sun rose over the mountains in brilliant shades of pink. I would like all of you to join me for lunch, but I need each of you to remember your manners. Examples

How do I create longer sentences? You could also use a semi-colon; just be sure that it separates two independent clauses.

The events we experience are less important than the meaning we give to them; for life is about meaning, not experience. --Proverb "I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean." (G. K. Chesterton) The sun rose in brilliant shades of pink; we sat stunned. Examples

How do I create longer sentences? Manipulate the structure: We spent the day washing windows. We took out the trash. We vacuumed. We dusted the furniture. We spent the day washing windows, taking out the trash, vacuuming and dusting.

When should you use short/long sentences? It all depends on the effect you want to achieve: Speed up the action? Slow down the action? Highlight an idea? Add rhythm? Add variety?

When should I use short sentences? To grab reader’s attention (at beginning of paragraph) To deliver especially important ideas To give a powerful punch To make your reader take extra notice To speed up the action To build suspense

Notice how the short sentences speed up the action and build a suspenseful tone: They sang Amazing Grace, low and smooth. Then the key changed. Chante took the song up a few steps. The choir sang faster and louder. Chante overtopped them all. They all took a step back. Not Chante. She burst into a solo, and all eyes were on her as she sang like a rock star in her first concert.

Now revise your sentence. Count the number of words in each sentence. Write the number above the end punctuation. Divide by the # of sentences and calculate your average. 14 or less = too many short sentences. 22 or more = too many long sentences. Are all your sentences about the same length? If so, where should you combine sentences to make longer ones? Where should you add a punch? How does your sentence structure influence the pace of your essay? Is it slow when needed? Fast in the right places? 5. Revise your essay with attention to your sentence structure. Now revise your sentence.