Issues: Writing Assignment #1 ENG 1B

Overall, your stories (anecdotes) were excellent. Good work!

If your opening paragraph was an interesting anecdote, that’s even better. Here’s a good one:

“San Francisco de Asis,” Mrs “San Francisco de Asis,” Mrs. Robinson called out as she looked at me, making sure I was paying attention. “This is the mission you will do your project on.” In the fourth grade, most of us in California had to do a project on the Spanish missions in California. In our class, students would be making scale-models of the various missions. When I was told that mine was in San Francisco, I was very happy because this mission is close to Stockton and I would be able to visit it with my family. I have now had several memorable experiences involving art, but visiting Mission Dolores in fourth grade is at the top of my list. We woke up early one morning so we could avoid the Bay Area traffic…

Only two significant issues: 1. Following instructions 2. Sentence structure

Following instructions Writing Assignment #1 Second Draft   STAPLE together: Your freshly-printed copy of your essay The editing checklist you received last time The instructions handout

Following instructions If you don’t have a grade on your paper, that means you submitted an incomplete bundle.

Format: see back side of this sheet Following instructions Format: see back side of this sheet

My Most Memorable Artistic Experiences Following instructions Writing Assignment #1 Thomas Wilson My Most Memorable Artistic Experiences

Following instructions Writing Assignment #1 Thomas Wilson My Most Memorable Artistic Experiences Note: I gave you the title for this essay.

Following instructions Length: 2 pages minimum

Following instructions Length: 2 pages minimum

Sentence Structure Compound sentences Comma splices

Sentence Structure—the Compound Sentence I have always liked Mexican music and I prefer listening to it more than anything else.

Sentence Structure—the Compound Sentence I have always liked Mexican music and I prefer listening to it more than anything else.

Sentence Structure—the Compound Sentence I have always liked Mexican music and I prefer listening to it more than anything else.

Sentence Structure—the Compound Sentence I have always liked Mexican music, and I prefer listening to it more than anything else.

Sentence Structure—the Comma Splice We purchased tickets for the concert, it turned out to be an amazing night.

Sentence Structure—the Comma Splice We purchased tickets for the concert, it turned out to be an amazing night.

Sentence Structure—the Comma Splice We purchased tickets for the concert, it turned out to be an amazing night. Solution 1: Make two sentences. We purchased tickets for the concert. It turned out to be an amazing night.

Sentence Structure—the Comma Splice We purchased tickets for the concert, it turned out to be an amazing night. Solution 2: Add a conjunction. We purchased tickets for the concert, and it turned out to be an amazing night.

Sentence Structure—the Comma Splice We purchased tickets for the concert, it turned out to be an amazing night. Solution 3: Change comma to semi-colon. We purchased tickets for the concert; it turned out to be an amazing night.

A Note About DIALOGUE “You’re going to Washington DC,” my mom told me. “Who, me? I asked. “What do you mean I’m going to Washington DC?” Incorrect

A Note About DIALOGUE “You’re going to Washington DC,” my mom told me. “Who, me? I asked. “What do you mean I’m going to Washington DC?” Correct

Change of speaker = new ¶ A Note About DIALOGUE “You’re going to Washington DC,” my mom told me. “Who, me? I asked. “What do you mean I’m going to Washington DC?” Change of speaker = new ¶

GRADING Most essays still in need of editing—a few, serious editing. If you’re happy with your current grade—you’re done! Otherwise, you have ONE WEEK from today to submit a THIRD DRAFT. If you know you have weaknesses in your writing, visit the RWLC in Holt 201.