Life at Home: Families and Relationship Chapter 12

Marriage and Family Defined Family - a group of people related by marriage, blood, or adoption and living in the same household (US Census Bureau. According to sociologists, a family is defined as a social group whose members are bound by legal, biological, or emotional ties, or a combination of all three. Marriage - a legal union based on mutual rights and obligations. In the U.S., marriage traditionally involves a legal relationship between a man and a woman.

Cross-Cultural Analysis of Family and Marriage Nuclear family – wife (mother), husband (father), and children Extended family – nuclear family plus other relatives – like grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. (usually include 3 generations in one household or close proximity) Marriage = wedding - culture

Dimensions of Family Structure Patrilineal – descent and inheritance are passed from the father to his male descendants. Matrilineal – descent and inheritance are passed on from the mother to her female descendants. Patriarchal control – oldest man living in household has authority over the rest of the family members. Matriarchal control – oldest woman living in the household holds the authority. Democratic/Egalitarian control – authority is split evenly between husband and wife.

Mate Selection Romantic Love – idea of people being sexually attracted to one another and idealizing the other Ex. Soul mate 2 components: 1) Emotional – feeling of sexual attraction 2) Cognitive – feeling we describe as being “in love” Homogamy –the tendency to marry someone similar to oneself based on personal preference. Heterogamy – partners are dissimilar with respect to some important social characteristics. Interracial marriage

Types of Marriages Monogamy – marriage of one man to only one woman at a time. Polygamy – marriage of a male or female to multiple partners of the other sex at the same time. Polygyny – marriage of one man to two or more women at the same time. Polyandry – marriage of one woman to two or more men at the same time (found in South Asian countries. e.g. Tibet, Nepal).

Functionalist Theory of Families - Views the family as one of the basic (most important) institutions that keeps society running smoothly by providing functions such as producing and socializing children, economic production, instrumental and emotional support, and sexual control. - Stresses how family is related to other parts of society and how it contributes to the well-being of society Functions of the Family Economic production, socialization of children, care of sick and aged, recreation, sexual control, and reproduction.

Conflict Theory and Family Draws attention to the struggles, conflict, and competition of scarce resources: Housework = time, energy, leisure “second shift” Examines women’s oppression and how the family has been used to maintain male domination of females.

Symbolic Interaction and Family Examine the types of social dynamics and interactions that create and sustain families, emphasizing the ways that our experiences of family bonds are socially created rather than naturally existing. Understanding behavior within the family based on the interactions among family members and in the meanings that members assign to these interactions. How each sex experiences marriage differently Ex. housework Socialization begins within the family. Relationships within the family are constantly being redefined.

Theoretical Perspectives

Nature of the American Family Marriage rate – the number of marriages per year for every one thousand members of a population. The U.S. marriage rate has fluctuated since 1940.

Relationship Trends

Divorce Divorce rate – the number of divorces annually for every thousand members of the population. Research – people who go to college, belong to a religion, wait to get married, and have children have a much better chance of their marriage lasting. Working with co workers of opposite sex and working with people who are recently divorced, increase one’s risk of divorce Divorce and children STATS: In 2014, 127 million persons (50 percent) were married while about 25 million (10 percent) were divorced. Remarriage is common; 64 percent of previously married men remarry, compared to 52 percent of previously married women.

The Work of Family Many types of paid and unpaid work are necessary to keep a family operating. Instrumental tasks include the practical physical tasks necessary to maintain family life (such as washing dishes and cutting grass). Expressive tasks refer to the emotional work necessary to support family members (such as remembering a relative’s birthday or playing with the children). Men and women have always performed different roles to ensure the survival of their families, but these roles were not considered unequal until after the Industrial Revolution. Women nowadays have two jobs: paid labor outside the home and unpaid labor inside the home. These tasks may be either instrumental or expressive. Ideally, men or women could perform either or both types of work as they see fit and feel comfortable, but we tend to see gender roles and expectations placing men into one category and women into the other. 14

The Work of Family (cont'd) Second shift: unpaid labor inside the home that is often expected of women after they get home from working at paid labor outside the home Arlie Hochschild’s 1989 study of working couples and parents found that women were indeed working two jobs: paid labor outside the home and unpaid labor inside the home. 15

Trouble in Families Domestic abuse is by far the most common form of family violence. It includes behaviors abusers use to gain and maintain power over their victims. Forms of Abuse: Physical Verbal Emotional Financial Sexual Psychological 16

Cycle of Violence in Abusive Relationships Stage one: relationship seems normal. Stage two: the victim “walks on eggshells” to avoid arguments. Stage three: acute battering and violence occur, lasting for seconds, hours, or even days. The abuser blames the victim. Stage four: the abuser apologizes profusely and promises that it will never happen again. A four-stage cycle of violence seems to occur in almost every abusive relationship. In the first stage, the abusive partner is charming, attentive, and thoughtful; disagreements are glossed over and the relationship looks stable and healthy. However, tension is building to the second stage, often described as “walking on eggshells.” Here, both parties sense that something will happen no matter what the victim may do to try to avoid it. During the third stage, acute battering and violence occur, lasting for seconds, hours, or even days. Whatever happens, the abuser will invariably blame the victim for the incident. The fourth stage, often referred to as loving contrition, is the “honeymoon” phase and is one of the reasons victims remain in violent relationships. After the violence, the abuser will apologize profusely and promise that it will never happen again.

Family Violence Over 1/5 of all reported cases of aggravated assault involve domestic violence, however many episodes go unreported. Domestic violence involves children, spouses, siblings, and older people. As many as ½ of married women in the U.S. are victims of spousal violence. At least 4 million women are battered by their husbands annually. 4,000 women each year are beaten to death. 14% of married women are sexually attacked by their husbands every year. ¾ of spousal violence occurs during separation or after divorce. Rates of domestic abuse are about equal across racial and ethnic groups, sexual orientations, and religious groups. People are more likely to be killed or attacked by family members than anyone else.

Family and the Life Course Children’s experiences are shaped by family size, birth order, presence or absence of parents, socioeconomic status, and other sociological variables. In turn, the presence of children affects the lives of parents. For example, marital satisfaction tends to decline where there are small children in the house, and a couple’s gendered division of labor tends to become more traditional when children are born. When a family has a child (whether the first or the tenth), a new dynamic is introduced to a system, which causes instability. The instability isn’t permanent; however, there is always friction when an existing arrangement is changed. 19

Trouble in Families Children may also suffer at the hands of abusive family members. A child witnessing domestic violence is considered a child abuse Child abuse is underreported, due in part to the relative powerlessness of the victims and the private settings of the abuse. Neglect―a form of abuse in which the caregiver fails to provide adequate nutrition, sufficient clothing or shelter, or hygienic and safe living conditions, affects children - accounts for 80 percent of child abuse (common in DV households). Another form of child abuse is incest (proscribed sexual contact between family members; this is a form of child abuse when it occurs between a child and a caregiver). Elder abuse can include violence and abuse, as well as financial exploitation, theft, neglect, and abandonment. Many states have special laws that give extra protection to elderly or minor individuals. For instance, the punishment for child abuse or elder abuse may be harsher than for the abuse of an individual who is neither a child nor elderly. 20

Family Resiliency Family resiliency – refers to the family’s capacity to emerge from crises as stronger and more resourceful. Families that flourish despite distress are resilient.

Factors Promoting Family Resiliency Individual characteristics such as: self-esteem, autonomy, sense of humor, problem-solving skills Family characteristics such as: emotional support, commitment, warmth, affection, cohesion Community characteristics such as: opportunities for participation in community life, emphasis on helping others Family-friendly public policy.

New Family Forms Blended Families - Families formed when at least one of the partners in the marriage has been married before and has one or more children from a previous marriage.

Childless Marriages Reasons to remain childless: In the past, there was a stigma attached to marriages without children. In 2008, one in five American women ages 40–44 was childless, up 80 percent since 1970 Highest rates among White women, highly educated women. Reasons to remain childless: less stigma importance of careers Independence do not enjoy children too much delay physical or mental limitations.

Dual-Employed Marriages Dual-employed marriages are where both the husband and wife are in the labor market. A relatively new trend, it is now considered the norm.

Cohabitation Cohabitation – living with someone in a marriage-like arrangement without the legal obligations and responsibilities of formal marriage. While cohabitation is more common among people with less education, it is increasing at higher educational levels. Cohabitation is on the rise. In 2009, cohabitation increased by 13 percent, twice the average annual increase of the preceding few years. Cohabitation has almost doubled since 1990.

Adult Children Returning Home “Boomerang kids” – young adults (18-34) have a much higher probability of living in their parents’ home than they did 30 years ago. Contributing factors: Young adults are marrying later. More young adults are continuing their education, and live at home while doing so. Due to the high cost of living, young adults return home after completing their education. High divorce rate also increases the proportion of young adults living at home.

Adult Children Returning Home: Consequences An added financial burden for older parents. Many parents complain that their adult children do not share in expenses, fail to help around the house, invade privacy, and prevent them from developing relationships with spouses and friends. Adult children living at home forfeit some freedom and are subject to some unwanted parental control.

The Sandwich Generation More middle-aged adults are finding mothers and fathers living with them. Sandwich generation – term applied to those adults caught between caring for their parents and caring for the family they formed after leaving home. Elderly parents receive better care from those who love them and feel responsible for them. Aging parents also offer emotional support and financial resources. Taking care of an elderly parent is not easy, physically or emotionally. The burden of caring for an aging parent falls much more heavily on women. About 2/3 of unpaid caregivers are female.

Looking Forward Is the nuclear family deteriorating? Family Decline Perspective – Sees changes as negative and as a decline of the family. Family Change Perspective – Sees changing as natural and naturally evolving to preserve the family as an institution The nuclear family remains the most popular choice among Americans.