Juvenile Justice Weeds & Roses TODAY YOU NEED: One sheet of paper or notebook TITLE IT: Juvenile Justice Weeds & Roses 2) Colored pens if you have any (share??) 3) 2 colors of highlighters ** Turn seats to face front and buddy up with the person next to you.

I did not grade your paper. You received 40/40 if you met the requirements. I was looking for patterns/ common errors for Weeds & Roses. I circled some of the errors/issue in your paper but not all of them. It is your responsibility to re-read your paper with new eyes and make corrections based on the W&Rs. I gave some people a bit of advice, but my advice really comes through the advice given in the W&Rs. Today: Jot down weed. Look through your paper. Make corrections/ notes to self. Have your partner look at your paper. Respond to your weed.

ROSES!! Papers are good so far! Thesis statements are clear and strong Pretty good use of They Say/ I Say Pretty good use of sources Reasonable & professional tone of voice (concessions) Decently polished in terms of grammar & mechanics and typos. Overall, good start. With some adjustments, they will be strong final drafts!

Weed #1-- MLA Times New Roman, size 12 Margins Headers

Weed #2-- Titles Quote marks Italicized (underlined when written) Short pieces Poems, short stories Part of a whole Whole works Articles, chapters Books, newspapers, movies, documentaries, magazines, journals,

Weed #3-- Grammar & mechanics issues Semi-colons! Apostrophes Write out contractions to formalize your writing: it’s= it is they’re= they are “Punctuation goes inside quote marks like this.” a juvenile’s brain juveniles’ brains

Weed 4-- Cite or Die! MLA page #, not paragraph At very end of sentence In-text citations vs. parenthetical citations In-text: In the PBS documentary Juvenile Justice, the four young men were all heavily influenced by their childhoods and home lives. Marquese…...Jose….. Manny…. Even Shawn was affected by his coddling and permissive parents. ** Do not have to cite after every sentence if it is clear that it is all from one source. Parenthetical: Marquese is a good example of a juvenile who was negatively affected by his environment (Juvenile Justice).

WEED 5-- Quoting 1) The following contains two weeds. What are they? Marije Lunstrom wrote, “The excitable media have perpetuated and fueled the youth violence scare of the 1980’s.” (46) Marije Lunstrom wrote, “The excitable media have perpetuated and fueled the youth violence scare of the 1980’s” (46). 2) What is the weed here? Brain theory is another area that the courts should consider. “Gray matter, which researchers believes supports our thinking and emotions, is purged at a rate of 1 to 2 percent a year.” The bottom line is the adolescent brain is not to same an adult’s, a point that needs to be considered when trying young criminals. Floating quote 3) Check all quoting errors: capitalization, punctuation, full vs partial quotes

Weed #6-- Paraphrasing vs. quoting What is the issue here? Ramin Setoodeh writes, “Like Larry, Brandon had his share of troubles. His parents, Kendra and Bill McInerney, had a difficult, tempestuous relationship. In 1993, Kendra alleged that Bill pointed a .45 handgun at her during a drunken evening and shot her in the arm.” Weed #6-- Paraphrasing vs. quoting Choose quotes that are quote-worthy and paraphrase the rest. Ramin Setoodeh says, “Like Larry, Brandon had his share of troubles” and in his article Setoodeh details his parents’ “tempestuous relationship.” This included violence (his mom being shot by his dad), jail time, and meth addiction (3).

Weed #7 Why is this example a weed? What could be done better? Juvenile crime rates fell 48% from 1997 to 2011 (Childress 1).

Weed #7= Introducing sources/ ETHOS ** The first time you use a source (especially for your outside sources) use all or some of the following: 1) Author’s full name 2) Their credentials (professor of bioethics at Duke University) 3) Article title 4) Article source **This way you are proving that the fact or opinion of this source is in fact credible, thereby giving you credibility for finding and using it. ** If you cannot find #1-4, the source is probably NOT credible and probably should not be used!

Weed #8-- Balance & ratio of They Say/ I Say Using Sources/Research more! **Use the following four hints: a. Use sources more!!!! One/two quote per paragraph is not sufficient. Your outside research is a big part of your final grade. Impress me with your research! Really utilize your sources (especially the really good ones! I am very interested in your research.

#8 continued b) For your research paper, if you want to make any conclusion, find expert research to back it up. For example: Juveniles who are put in jails and are released are much more likely to be repeat offenders and end up back in jail. ** Sounds reasonable and quite possible, but if you want to state this, find a source to back it up. Juveniles who are put in jails and are released are much more likely to be repeat offenders and end up back in jail. According to _______________ the percentage of repeat offenders is _____% (Gaff 43). BTW-- the term to lookup is recidivism

c) Go for a ratio of They Say to I Say of 2:1 or even 3:1. #8 continued c) Go for a ratio of They Say to I Say of 2:1 or even 3:1. d) Don’t be afraid to use sources with the opposing point of view. Use it to give a concession or to counter. Some argue that… ___________takes on the opposing point of view...

Weed #9-- Making sure your point of view is apparent; Enhance your I Say 1) Just as we did for the Ousley For every section and for every example think: What is my purpose? Why am I using this example? 2) Case examples are too long, too detailed Think: What is my purpose in using this case. What details do I need to prove my point? A case is more of an illustration rather than evidence. Evidence= expert opinion, expert commentary on cases, research, discussion on factors involved, etc.

Solutions: Use I Say stems from handout Don’t use “I” so much Try to never use “You” Try this: Take one of your body paragraphs. Highlight your They Say one color and your I Say another color. How does your ratio look?

WEED #10--Synthesize & use transitions Synthesize= to combine elements In writing, to use multiple sources per paragraph/section WHY synthesize? Increases credibility. Longer, more developed paragraphs For brain theory, use Thompson and Lundstrom and Jenkins and… Use transitions to move from one source to another- Likewise, on the other hand, similarly, however, Paul Thompson takes the opposite viewpoint.. Like Lundstrom, Paul Thompson believes… Rose-- Avalon, brain theory

Weed #11-- Topic sentences (TS), transitions, intro of topic Use the first sentence in your paragraph or section to: 1) Give an overview of the paragraph or section 2) Connect your previous paragraph to the current one Use transitions– first, furthermore, as a result, in addition, additionally, the next…,

Which are quality transitions? 1) Jose in the documentary Juvenile Justice did his time in juvenile hall but showed remorse and was able to turn his life around. No. Starting with an example or fact usually does not give the overview of the paragraph. It seems like a summary of the source. Change to: The justice system’s first priority needs to be rehabilitation for our young offenders. Jose from the documentary Juvenile Justice is a great example of the system working to rehabilitate and give second chances.

2) One of the biggest arguments against juveniles being tried as adults is that their brains are not fully developed. Good. Gives an overview and a focus to the paragraph. 3) In addition to the juvenile brain being not fully developed, juveniles are also greatly affected by their living environment and their parents or guardians. Yes, provides a transition from the last paragraph to the current one.

#12-- Ideas for intros and conclusions?? Doesn’t have to be too long. Body is the most important part. Hook Examples/Cases Introduce the debate Conclusions: Solution, call to action, compromise Full circle-- return to your intro

All other marks on your draft

Works Cited Page Handout MUST include every source used in your paper Alphabetical Use proper MLA format

THE ULTIMATE CHECKLIST... Introduction I have an introduction (hook) that gets the reader engaged & interested in the topic I have a clear and strong thesis that answers both parts of the prompt. Body paragraphs I start each paragraph with a Topic Sentence (TS) that provides an overview & a transition They Say I introduce authors by full names (first time used) and the source. Sometimes I mention credentials and give context of the source (ETHOS!!). I use plentiful evidence (quotations, examples, statistics) since this is a research paper. You will be impressed! I wrote lengthy paragraphs and/or used numerous paragraphs per section for development. I SYNTHESIZE in each paragraph by using more than one source. I use transitions to synthesize these sources. I worked in statistics or conclusions from our field surveys.

They Say continued I went through my notes on punctuation and capitalization of quotations, so I know I did them perfectly! I checked and I have no floating quotes. I checked all my citations and did them perfectly like this (Jones 343). Cite or die, baby! I Say I included my I Say (analysis, conclusions, thoughts, opinions) in various ways-- sometimes before the They Say, sometimes embedded with the They Say, sometimes after). I got out my They Say/ I Say handout and used some of I Say stems (or similar ones) to elevate my language. I used concessions . My tone is reasonable, mature, professional, yet bold and interesting. MLA Works Cited page I got on Purdue OWL and checked how to do a MLA Works Cited page. I included all sources that I actually cited in my paper. I alphabetized my Works Cited page. Sources I included all copies of my sources & put them in alphabetical order which follows my Works Cited page. You’re going to be impressed by the quality of the sources, Mrs. Jones!!

Your final paper Due before your first period on Monday, 3/21. Final Draft Works Cited page Rough drafts (written & typed) Weeds & Roses Printed copy of outside articles used (not from blue packet) CSU rubric Pass out

Getting help in college Hints: 1) Have someone proof your paper– roommate, hallmate, Mom, Dad, brother, sister, etc. 2) Join a study group and proof each other’s papers 3) Find and use the tutoring center on campus. Might be called The Writing Center or Student Services. At PLNU it was called The Write Place (catchy, huh?). Future nerdy English teachers or journalists (aka English majors) get paid to work there and help you!! 4) Seek help from the source him or herself– your professor or the Teacher’s Assistant. They will have office hours when you can make an appointment or drop-in. Bring your draft. Ask specific questions. Be polite and likeable. Don’t wear your PJs. Professors LOVE giving Cs, but if they know you, see your effort, and you can tweak your papers to their needs and demands, maybe you can earn Bs and even As!!