Miller County Sheriff’s Office Sheriff Louie Gregoire BULLYING Ice breaking exercise – How does this make you feel? Not too good does it. Victims of bullying feel this same pain your are feeling right now. They deal with this on a day to day basis. It causes pain in their hearts that sometimes they just can’t withstand. Now, I am going to talk to you about bullying, the types of bullying, share a story of a student who was bullied, give you some strategies to deal with bullying. And before we all leave today we are all going to KNOW and FOLLOW the Golden Rule which is?.... “Treat others the way you want to be treated”. Miller County Sheriff’s Office Sheriff Louie Gregoire

“Treat others the way you want to be treated” The Golden Rule “Treat others the way you want to be treated”

Bullying Definition Behavior that is intentional, hurtful and repeated by one or more persons. Bullied students are teased, harassed, and assaulted verbally or physically. Read definition. Look at the picture of this little girl here. Do you see them in the background. What do you think the other girls are doing? (talking bad about her), (excluding her from their group), (teasing her). Do you think these things are bullying. How do you think this girl feels? She is going to go home from school and be thinking about how she is going to deal with this for the entire school year. It’s not right. And there are students in this school that feel this same way. There are kids in this classroom that feel the same way. We need to stop and think about what were doing and “treat other people the way you want to be treated”.

Three Types of Bullying Direct Indirect Cyber

Direct Physical – hitting, kicking, pushing, stealing, hiding or ruining someone’s things. Making someone do something they don’t want to do. Verbal – name calling, teasing, insulting, threats. Pushing in the hallway, hiding someone’s food at the lunch table. Teasing someone about the way they look. Name calling. No one in here has the right to call anyone a name that is insulting or offensive. Like fat, ugly.

Indirect Relationship Bullying – gossiping, spreading rumors and lies about someone. Making someone feel left out or rejected. Which one of these types of bullying do you think boys are involved in? Which one do you think girls are involved in? Boys tend to be more physical and girls value relationships more than boys. At one school there were these girls who thought they were these divas or the Royal 5 and they had this signup sheet for girls who wanted to sit with them at lunch. What happen was girls would sign up and they would pass the sign up sheet around to see who was rejected or not. This is mean and unacceptable and do you think this is the way those girls would want to be treated?

Cyber Bullying Cyber bullying is when somebody uses the internet or mobile phones to harm someone. The internet is a wonderful place but also very dangerous. Resources you use for fun can also be used against you. Sometimes cyber bullying is done anonymously so you don’t know who is saying nasty things but it still hurts, no matter who is saying it to you. Or how many people are doing it… It’s really serious, even if it does start out as a bit of a joke. If the people are found, they will be punished.

Bullying can be... One person making fun of another. One person trying to beat up another. A group of people ganging up against others. Not only are these things wrong morally but they are also illegal. You can be arrested for touching, or hitting another person if that person says it was unwanted and he took offense to that hitting. Also, can be arrested for disorderly conduct.

Bullying – You Decide? Jennifer recently broke up with her boyfriend Andrew. Andrew is now dating Melissa. Jennifer convinces all of her friends not to speak or hang out with Melissa anymore. Is this bullying? I have a couple of examples here that I want to read and I want to hear what you boys and girls think. (answer – yes it is social alienation or indirect bullying which we talked about earlier.

Bullying – You Decide When John walks in the hallway to his class, Chris repeatedly knocks his books out of his hand everyday. Is this bullying? (answer – Yes) What type of bullying is this? (Direct bullying – physical)

How does it make you feel? Depressed Hurt Alone Low Self-Esteem Anxiety Scared We talked about the effects of bullying has on a person. These are just some of them but there are so many others that I can’t list here because there is not enough room. Depressed. This is a big problem among children and teenagers who are victims of being bullied. Anyone know what depressed means? (let students answer). Ok, now I am going to talk to you about a girl who was the victim of being bullied and her story.

Kristina A Calco Her name is Kristina. In middle school she was a 4.0 honor student who always strived for perfection in everything she did. She was extremely artistic and some of her work was chosen to be on the cover of the school yearbook. She also designed some of the school t-shirts. She was a shy girl so she joined yearbook staff and newspaper staff to help her overcome her fears. Even though she wasn’t a good athlete she joined the swimming team, volleyball team and track team. Kristina supported her school in every way. She attended numerous sporting events like basketball and football. After graduating from 8th grade, she went to high school and tried out for the JV cheerleading team. This was written in her journal “Me, Kristina, I made the cheerleading squad for high school! JV too! I’m so proud of myself!” But despite all her accomplishments there were some students who would still CHOOSE to drag her down. You see in Middle school she was tormented, teased, ridiculed, and called ugly. She never told a single adult about what happen. Her friends would have to console her and tell her she wasn’t ugly and tell her she was beautiful. However, the bullying didn’t end she was a sensitive girl who made feel to ugly on a daily basis by her own peers. By the time she was in 9th grade she actually believed she was ugly.

Does it have to be a part of growing up? No Each and every person has the right to feel safe in school and in life.

Who is a Bully? What type of people are not treating others like they want to be treated.

Characteristics of a Bully Excited by their bullying behavior Enjoy feelings of power and control Enjoy causing pain Can be a below average, average or above average student Lack compassion and empathy for their targets Can be all shapes and sizes

Who is a Target? There are certain characteristics in students that bully’s target.

Reasons Doesn’t fit in Physically weak Minority Facial appearance Clothing Emotional Overweight Good grades

Reasons If you usually are alone and don't have many friends. If you don't have a lot of confidence and don't stand up for yourself.

How to Deal with Bullying!! If you are being bullied you need to report it but when you are in the moment there are some things you can do. There are also some things you can do to try an avoid becoming a target.

Ways to avoid future bullying Don’t bring expensive things or money to school Hang out with friends Avoid unsupervised areas Sit near the bus driver on the bus or walk with a teacher to class Don’t walk alone and avoid places where bullying occurs Get funny Don’t act scared “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Report, Report, Report Report it to a trusted adult immediately BE A HERO The most important thing you can do to stop bullying is report, report, report.

Bystanders Part of the problem not the solution

Be a Hero Encourage other bystanders to help stop the bullying incident by being assertive. Make friends with someone who continually gets picked on. Report it or send someone to a trusted adult. You are a key player in stopping bullying. Bystanders are part of the problem not the solution.

Report vs Tattling Tattling – Is trying to get someone in trouble. Reporting – When you report bullying you are helping someone else.

Why do others LET it happen?

Reasons The bully is someone others look up to and want to hang out with. They want to “side” with the bully because it makes them feel strong. They’re entertained by the bullying.

Reasons They don’t think speaking up will help. They’re afraid that if they say something, the bully will turn on them.

Some things you can say if someone is getting bullied. "That's Not Funny" "How would you like it if someone did that to you?" "Cut it out"

Are you a Bully?

Ask Yourself These Questions Does it make you feel better to hurt other people or take their things? Are you bigger and stronger than other people your age? Do you sometimes use your size and strength to get your way?

Ask Yourself These Questions Have you been bullied by someone in the past and feel like you have to make up for doing the same thing to others? Do you avoid thinking about how other people might feel if you say or do hurtful things to them?

How can you STOP being a Bully?

If you are a bully, here are some ways to stop Apologize to people that you have bullied, and follow it up by being friendly. They might not trust you right away, but eventually they will see that you have changed.

More ways to If you are having a hard time feeling good about yourself, explore ways to boost your self-esteem. (Sports) If you feel like you’re having trouble controlling your feelings, especially anger, talk to a school counselor about it.

“Treat others the way you want to be treated” The Golden Rule “Treat others the way you want to be treated”

Questions?