Guiding the Behavior of Young Children Fundamentals (2015) Guiding the Behavior of Young Children I. Abdelnour NEKCA CCSS

Different ages, different strategies Children need adults to teach, guide and support them as they grow and learn. Different ages, different strategies For example, 2-yr olds have limited understanding and need a lot of redirection but 5-yr olds can learn to be good problem solvers- BUT one strategy may not work for all children.

A few rules that work well… Keep rules simple and easy to understand - also consider children’s suggestions for rules A few rules that work well… Help each other Take care of our toys Say please and thank you Be kind to each other Name some other basic rules……..

Say what you mean: Use “do” instead of “don’t” whenever possible. Focus on what to do instead of what not to do. Use short sentences Say, “slow down and walk” instead of “don’t run” Say, “keep your feet on the floor” instead of “don’t climb on the table” Say, “use a quiet voice inside” instead of ………………….. Give another example

Talk “with” children, not “at them” Look them in the eye Touch them on the shoulder Resist the urge to simply lecture Give them time to respond, and listen genuinely to their point of view

Set a good example and encourage them to set a good example for each other. They watch you and they see how you speak to other adults and children. Children also learn a great deal from each other so encourage appropriate ways to share, play and be kind to each other

Give clear, simple choices Toddlers can choose between a red cup and a green cup; preschoolers can choose between playing “airport” or “zookeeper” Only give a choice when there really is a choice. Example: It’s naptime, do you want to lie down now. Is it really a choice if everyone MUST lie down now?

Show respect for children…speak to them about misbehavior in private. Remind them about the reasons for the rule and discuss what they can do differently. Are there exceptions?

Catch children being good, several times a day. Speak specifically….what does, “What a good boy!” mean…..how can you encourage a deed well done?

Teach children how to resolve conflict and solve problems. How? Give some examples Teach children how to correct their misbehavior If food is thrown on the floor, give him a broom and show him how to clean it up. If a child draws on the wall, give them a wet rag to clean it up. Even if the child can’t do the task perfectly or completely, this gives them an idea that there are consequences to their actions.

Age/Stage Typical Behavior Toddlers Preschoolers Young Tantrums Terrible twos – “NO” being the most used word Emerging independence Bites or hits Preschoolers Tests limits Asks “WHY?” a lot May tell lies, steal or argue Young School-age children Stubborn, refuses to do something Bossy, likes to be in control Does not like criticism Still emerging independence – wants things their own way.

Beyond typically trying behaviors Aggression: hitting, biting, throwing, choking, verbal threats Self-injury: head banging, scratching or picking skin, throwing self to floor Stereotypical or repeated motions: gestures, mouthing, body rocking Group disruption: hyperactivity, talking out, arguing, unusual vocalizations Inappropriate play or behavior- stealing, self-exposure, inappropriate touching of others, eating non-food items

Did you know that… all behavior is a way to communicate? all behavior that persists is usually working for the child? all problem behavior has a cause and a goal? there is a connection between a child’s ability to communicate and challenging behavior? the pattern of behavior is important; not single or isolated events? the best approaches to challenging behavior are ones that 1) respond to the underlying cause and need for the behavior and 2) use positive approaches? the best way to prevent challenging behavior is to foster children’s social and emotional needs and skills.