HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING Parent Guilt is Real: We regularly make mistakes and wrong our children We place some pretty expectations on ourselves Our culture communicates that failure is unacceptable My assumptions about everyone here

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING We know we fail as parents, so what does this look like? Guilt Shame Anger Embarrassment Hiding Hopelessness Denial This is exhausting! So what do we do?

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING Romans 5:6, 8-11 When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING Romans 5:6, 8-11 And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son.

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING Romans 5:6, 8-11 So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING Why is this Important? Gives us a solid foundation God is able to meet the deepest needs or our soul The secret is out, you mess up and the beauty is that God wants to forgive you and lavish you with his love

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING Isaiah 1:18 Come now, let’s settle this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING I want to talk for a minute about how to practically fail redemptively as a parent, but must admit off the bat that nothing I am going to suggest is especially profound. I don’t believe it is a very complex topic. That’s not to say it isn’t very difficult, it is. Like asking a girl to dance isn’t a very sophisticated matter, only a terrifying one.

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING 1 John 1:8-9 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. A couple of verses speak plainly about the matter. 1 John 1 points out that confession to God is a key step towards redemption when we’ve hurt our kids. First, because to not admit that we do wrong is a lie – there’s a certain type of craziness born of insecurity that fails to ever admit fault, at least without passing the blame mainly onto another person or circumstance. Some of us grew up with parents like this who were more than unreasonable and even blame their kids for their outbursts of anger and other harm. We see that to deny fault on any level as a parent is both harmful and absurd. Second, we should confess our sins to God because he’s Good and will forgive us and purify us. Some of us have never done this and I pray you would pray for forgiveness so you can experience what it’s like to have the weight of guilt lifted from you. Some of us have already done this and yet hide in shame because you’ve forgotten the unconditional love of your Father. Don’t hide, daughter, run to Him and tell Him what you’ve done so you can be reassured of his love for you.

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. Next, and just as important, we should confess our sins to others, including the one you sinned against – your child.

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING Confessing to your child I was wrong, would you please forgive me? Avoid explaining it away Tell them why it wasn’t right Leave out age-inappropriate details Ask for their prayers to help change Sympathize with their struggles: “I can understand because you know how I struggle with x. God forgives us. Let’s pray for help.” Next, and just as important, we should confess our sins to others, including the one you sinned against – your child.

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING Potential benefits to your child Teaches them they neither have to be perfect, nor pretend to be Teaches them how to apologize and forgive Teaches them resilience Teaches them that you love them Next, and just as important, we should confess our sins to others, including the one you sinned against – your child.

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. Confess to other parents, too Questions, Comments, or Stories?

HOW TO FAIL AT PARENTING Discussion Group Questions: Did your parents model repentance? How or how not? What effect did their example have on you? What are your greatest sources parenting shame? How can we practically apply God’s grace to parenting shame? How do you typically respond to your kids when you fail in parenting? What makes openness with other parents about parenting mistakes so difficult? How could you help create openness with your parent friends?