Origins of Attraction

Proximity #1 Proximity is geographic nearness or how physically close you are to someone/something. One of the most powerful predictors of whether any 2 people are friends is their proximity to each other. In terms of attraction (who we like and who we love), functional distance is very important in regard to proximity. Functional distance is how often people’s paths cross. So, when we are located geographically close to someone else and we go to the same places at the same time (a grocery store, the gym, etc.), then we can predict that we would be more likely to interact with them, like them, and form a friendship or romantic relationship. Most people marry someone who lives in the same neighborhood, works at the same company, or has been in the same class as them. Proximity leads to liking someone because of availability and anticipation of interaction. Availability means that someone who lives in another city or goes to another school who you never meet is not available for you to get to know or be attracted to, therefore their lack of proximity results in less chance for a relationship. Anticipatory liking is when we like someone more just because we are anticipating interaction with them. So, in this case, we don’t even have to meet the person yet, but the anticipation of interacting with them actually boosts our attraction/rating of them.

#1 Nahemow and Lawton Lucille Nahemow and M. Powell Lawton (1975) found in their study of friendship networks of residents in Dyckman Houses, a public housing project, that proximity is “a powerful force in friendship formation.” Their study was to find out under what circumstances people make friends of strangers. Nahemow and Lawton predicted that the proximity effect would increase significantly with age and that both similarity and proximity would contribute to friendship choices. The apartment housing they looked at included several different apartment buildings, including one elderly home community. They assumed that older people would have more friends who lived closer to them because they would be restricted to commuting shorter distances. This study took place by interviewing residents in three 14-story buildings with 12 apartments to each floor. Residents were asked who their best friends were, if they lived in the same building, where they met and how often they saw each other. Interviewers also took note of the apartment number, age, sex and race of the friends listed by Dyckman Houses residents. It was found that the proximity effect is an important factor in who is to become a friend. Researchers found that 88 percent of the closest friend mentioned lived in the same building as the respondent and almost half lived on the same floor. This study confirmed that both physical distance and functional distance contribute to whom residents befriend. Fifty two percent of the residents who responded to the interview stated that they met their friends in “the hallways, elevators, and entrance areas of their own building.” Lawton also found proximity was not a factor that just affected the elderly, 37 percent of the younger residents also indicated that their best friend was someone who lived on the same floor.

#1 Proximity http://www.lawsofattraction.com/psychology/proximity/

#2 Evolution The evolutionary explanation of attraction considers the goal of selecting the best mate and protecting the offspring after mating to ensure survival of one’s genes. Simply put, the purpose of attraction is to procreate, to ensure that an individual's genes are passed on to the next generation. Individuals are attracted to traits that will ensure a healthy mate with good genes. Individuals may be attracted to characteristics that would predict a mate that could provide for and protect the offspring. For example, Buss (1979) found that in multiple cultures around the world, men generally desire a younger woman (more fertile, can bear more children) and women desire an older man (has more resources to protect the child).

#2 Evolution Clarke and Hatfield Study http://bit.ly/1fUGNs3

Similarity #3 Similiarity refers to shared characteristics. Research shows that we are attracted to people who are like us. Friends, engaged couples, and spouses are far more likely than people randomly paired to share common attitudes, beliefs, and values. The greater the similarity between husband and wife, the happier they reported being, and the less likely they were to divorce. Multiple studies have been done to gauge many different characteristics and the findings continue to reveal that we form friendships and romantic relationships more often with people who are similar to us. This is true for attitudes, beliefs, age, religion, race, whether or not you smoke, socioeconomic status, level of education, height, intelligence, and appearance.

#3 Similarity http://www.lawsofattraction.com/psychology/similarity/

Past Experiences #4 As children, we have a need to form attachments to caregivers. The parent/child relationship is very influential in our development. Some researchers propose that there is a resemblance between childhood attachments/relationships and later adult romantic relationships. Our past experiences and past relationships can impact our future relationships. So, our past experiences can greatly affect who we are attracted to and how we form our relationships. For example, sometimes when we encounter someone new that reminds us of a significant other in the past, we may be attracted to this new person because of our association with the past partner. This is called transference.

Past Experiences #4 http://psycnet.apa.org/index.cfm?fa=search.displayRecord&uid=1987-21950-001

Chen and Anderson #4 In this study, participants identified two of their past significant others – one that they disliked (ended on bad terms) and one that they liked (had no hard feelings toward after the break up) and provided short descriptions of them. Two weeks later the participants learned about a new person with whom they were told they were to interact. The description of the person was rigged by the experimenter to resemble their descriptions of the past significant others. When the participants interacted with the person, their attitude towards him/her was shifted to resemble their attitude to the matching past significant other.

Hormones and Neurotransmission #5 Chemical substances in the brain make us obsessed, addicted, or in love with a specific person causing us to alter our behavior. These chemical substances are hormones and neurotransmitters that can work to increase the bond or level of attachment between individuals. For example, oxytocin is one specific chemical that has been shown to play a role in attraction and attachment. The release of oxytocin deepens and intensifies feelings of attachment. Oxytocin is released during sex to solidify the bond between romantic partners. Oxytocin is also released during childbirth to strengthen the mother/child relationship. Serotonin and dopamine are neurotransmitters that can also play a large role in attraction and relationships. Dopamine is involved in reward motivated behavior. Research shows that those in love have similar activity in the dopamine system as those that are high on cocaine.

Oxytocin and Prairie Voles #5 Oxytocin and Prairie Voles http://www.nature.com/news/gene-switches-make-prairie-voles-fall-in-love-1.13112

Mazaritti Findings #5 Mazaritti (1999): Found that people in love have lower levels of serotonin. Mazaritti studied 60 individuals - 20 were men and women who had fallen in love in the last 6 months; 20 others had suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder; and the other 20 were healthy individuals who were not in love (control group). By analyzing blood samples from the lovers, Mazaritti discovered that low serotonin levels in new lovers were the same as those with obsessive-compulsive disorder. The study established a possible connection between romantic love and low levels of serotonin in the blood.

Familiarity #6 Familiarity is how much we have been exposed to something or how many times we have seen/heard it. Social psychology explains that when we are more familiar with something, we tend to like it more. This seems to be true also for attraction to other people – we are more attracted to and more likely to form a relationship with those who are familiar to us.

#6 Familiarity http://www.lawsofattraction.com/psychology/exposure/