Bullying Presentation January 18, 2017 Student Support Center Gallup McKinley County School District

What is Bullying? Bullying means any repeated and pervasive written, verbal or electronic expression, physical act or gesture or pattern thereof, that is intended to cause distress upon one or more students in the school, on school grounds, in school vehicles, at a designated bus stop or at school activities or sanctioned events. Bullying includes, but is not limited to, hazing, harassment, intimidation or menacing acts of a student which may, but need not be based on student’s race, color, sex, ethnicity, national origin, religion, disability, age or sexual orientation. NM 6.12.7.7

Bullying Definition (cont.) Occurs when there is an imbalance of power between victim and bully. It is often referred to as a game of “one-upmanship;” the attempt to win while the other person loses. Bully does not see actions as out of line. Victim becomes upset, as bullying is not like normal childhood teasing.

Bullying Behaviors Direct Indirect Teasing Taunting Threatening Hitting Stealing victim’s belongings Indirect Spreading rumors Causing student to become socially isolated by excluding him or her

Preference for Behaviors Boys tend to engage in Direct Bullying Behaviors Girls tend to engage in Indirect Bullying Behaviors

Bullies: Who are they? The Bully is not necessarily a social outcast They enjoy average to above average level of popularity

Motivation Behind Bullying Reaction to being bullied by siblings or family members Dealing with difficulty over loss of loved one They may be in a struggle for control or power They may be dealing with self-esteem issues in an attempt to feel better about themselves They may be clueless as to how little they are liked; they are often out of touch with what their peers think They either perceive themselves as acceptable or they are confident enough to not care.

Bullies and Social Skills Bullies may often have poor social skills They may not have the appropriate skills to develop friendships Bullying becomes a substitute for friendship These students may not know how to be a friend or how to get their needs met for affection, attention or friendship in a socially acceptable manner, so they use power and domineering behavior to achieve their goals.

Bullies do not see the world as it really is… Perceive provocation where it does not exist They may have a formidable attitude toward violence and use of violence to solve problems They may have a lack of empathy; an inability to understand what other people are feeling They may have no concept of how painful their actions are towards others

Learned Behavior They may have learned their behavior from other bullies They may be validated by social media They may be validated by television and movie violence

Other Factors involved in Bullying Tendencies Children who have been abused have a greater chance of being bullied They may have parents who are uninvolved or lack warmth They may have a fear of being bullied themselves and respond to situations in self-defense

Bullies may seek to gain social status Bullies may seek to be part of the “in-group” and create their own “in- group” They may, in time, be more likely to smoke and use alcohol They may be defiant towards adults They may be more likely to break school rules They may not realize what their actions are doing to others

Who gets bullied? Characteristics of the victims of bullying: Someone who does not fit in Someone who has a different religion or ethnicity Someone who wears unique or unusual clothes Someone who has a physical weakness Someone who is different in appearance

And then, there are more Victims usually have few friends They may have low self-esteem They usually give in to the demands of the bully, allowing themselves to become a target They may act submissive, even before being picked on They may not know how to approach other children They may not know how to make friends

Victims of Bullies They may be targets of the bully repeatedly They tend to be passive and non-aggressive They may be insecure They may not be able or willing to defend themselves Some feel that they have been rejected by their parents They may not know how to approach others to play They are more willing to be compliant and do what others want them to do

Victims, also, Lack Social Skills Victims do not know how to make friends and get along with others They may be lonely and afraid They may not have friends they can count on to defend them

Being a Loner Invites Rejection Victims may be more inattentive than their peers in their age group They may lack enthusiasm They may appear frightened, passive or shy to others

Being Different Invites Bullying Victims do not fit the mold They may not look right, dress right or speak right Obesity invites bullying Overly intellectual invites bullying Students with Special Needs are often victims of bullying Short and non-athletic boys invite bullying

Poor Self Image Opens One up to Bullying Low self-esteem Low confidence Victims may see themselves negatively or as “less than” Victims tend to shy away from confrontation and conflict

Having an over-protective family Victims may have close relationships with their family Victims may have little or no practice in handling conflicts Victims may also be perceived as “gay” and when they become teens, the bullying becomes worse

Effects of Bullying on Both Victim and Bully Bullying causes internal anger on the part of the victim It is the victim, who may respond overtime in a most inappropriate manner and with violence as a way to “get back” at the bully and those who have bullied them and those who failed to stand up for them

Short Term Effects on the Victim May form personality traits that keep them isolated from their peers Report higher levels of loneliness May become socially withdrawn

Short Term Effects on Victim Depression Suicidal Thoughts and Suicidal Attempts Abnormal fears and worries Nervous habits Frequent crying Bed wetting Poor appetite or digestive problems School problems RAGE

Long Term Effects on Victims Form of personality disorder that keeps them isolated from their peers High levels of social isolation Social withdrawal Built up rage that may result in violence

Short Term Effects on Bully Bullies perceive themselves as being liked when in reality they are not; their very toughness prevents them from being liked They fail to see the impact of their behavior on others They are often in the principals office They are frequently suspended or given detention They may be frequently punished at home

Long Term Effects on Bully Disliked, dissatisfied and in trouble with the law Abusive to their spouse and their children—hence the cycle continues Trouble with the law—60% have one court conviction by the time they are 24 (Hara Estroff Marana, “Big. Bad. Bully.” Psychology Today , September-October, 1995, p.56. A statistic which has been on the rise since Columbine. Alcoholism Anti-social personality disorder Lack of achievement Limited Education Limited Experience with Success Academic Problems Mental Health Issues including Depression, Suicide Ideation and Narcissism

When Girls Bully—what does it look like Teasing Not talking to a person Spreading rumors Relational Aggression Back biting Exclusion Rumors Name calling Manipulation Fighting with body language and with relationships

And then.. Relational bullies focus on: Looks Differences The “gay” issue Conceit Exclusion/isolation/Not being invited Rumors/telling secrets “Slut” the nuclear label

Tips for Dealing with Bullies Fighting back physically, but this is the worst defense Ignoring, walking away Using humor Being confident Talking about it Finding friends Changing schools—if all else fails Taking legal action

Scenarios You have been given nine scenarios that your action in dealing with them is needed. Please complete these with your partner and then discussion as a group will follow. After large group discussion, we will return to our small groups to work with other scenarios. Discussion with the new scenarios and then large group report out.

Review of Lesson Plans Work in groups to review lesson plans for working with students in Bullying Situations.

School Policy in Regard to Bullying Handout Bullying Form