Dr. David Blakesley Professor of English, Purdue The Paramedic Method Dr. David Blakesley Professor of English, Purdue Rationale: Welcome to “The Paramedic Method.” This presentation is designed to introduce a method for improving the concision and clarity of sentences The seventeen slides presented here are designed to aid the facilitator in an interactive presentation on the elements of sentence-level revision. This presentation is ideal for technical writers who struggle with writing clear and concise sentences. This particular presentation was delivered to engineers at the Indiana Department of Transportation research labs in West Lafayette, Indiana. This presentation may be supplemented with the following INDOT OWL resources: INDOT Five Principles of Readability Slide Presentation INDOT Five Principles of Readability Handout INDOT Paramedic Method Handout Directions: Each slide is activated by a single mouse click, unless otherwise noted in bold at the bottom of each notes page Writer and Designer: David Blakesley and Joshua Prenosil Contributors: Jeffrey L. Hoogeveen Developed with resources courtesy of the Purdue University Writing Lab © Copyright Purdue University, 2000, 2006, 2008

Lard content of sentence 1: 10/36 = 28% The Problem How can two sentences that say virtually the same thing communicate differently? An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the properties of ternary mixtures for use in concrete pavements was undertaken and is presented in this paper. (36 words! FAT! The “Official Style”) This paper evaluates the effect of Class C fly ash and ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the properties of ternary mixtures in concrete pavements. (26 words! LEAN! “Clear and Readable Style”) Lard content of sentence 1: 10/36 = 28% A presenter can ask students: 1) Of what does the ‘lard’ of the sentence mostly consist? 2) What are the differences between the two sentences? After the students/participants have answered the questions to the best of their ability, the instructor can proceed to the next slide for an analysis of the two sentences. Click mouse to advance slide.

What’s the difference? The “Official Style” (Sentence 1) uses . . . Lots of prepositions and prepositional phrases “To be” verbs Nominalizations The passive voice A long ‘wind-up’ or introductory phrase A presenter can compare and contrast the students’/participants’ answers with the five parts of “official style” listed here. Students may find additional differences between the “official style” and “plain style,” and the presenter should discuss those differences with the students, as well. Click the mouse to proceed to the next slide.

What Is the Paramedic Method? Developed by Richard Lanham, the paramedic method is a set of clear steps for analyzing and revising wordy sentences. Writers use the paramedic method to improve clarity and readability so that their meaning is communicated concisely and effectively. A presenter might want to emphasize the idea that the paramedic method is a surefire way to improve the clarity and readability of a sentence. Click once to move to the next slide.

Paramedic Method Step 1 Underline the prepositional phrases* in the sentence. An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the properties of ternary mixtures for use in concrete pavements is presented in this paper. * Prepositions are words that indicate relationships between nouns and pronouns. Words like at, in, on, of, to, about, around, below, above, from, into, near, since, through, against, after, and outside are prepositions. Prepositional phrases tend to make writing unclear if they are long and if they appear before the agent and action of the sentence. Underlining the prepositional phrases will make the student aware of how prepositional phrases can shift the agent and action to the end of the sentence. Click mouse to advance slide.

2. Circle the ‘to be’* verbs. Paramedic Step 2 2. Circle the ‘to be’* verbs. An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the properties of ternary mixtures for use in concrete pavements was undertaken and is presented in this paper. * “To be” verbs are conjugations of “to be”: am, is, are, was, were Conjugations of ‘to be’ are often in a sentence because they form the verb phrase of the passive voice. A presenter might explain to students that the passive voice switches the agent and object and often renders a sentence less comprehensible. For more information on the passive voice, see the “Five Principles of Readability” PowerPoint. Click mouse to advance slide.

Paramedic Step 3 3. Put a box around nominalizations* and (thus) identify the primary action. An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the properties of ternary mixtures for use in concrete pavements was undertaken and is presented in this paper. * Nominalizations are nouns that used to be verbs or adjectives, such as evaluation (n) for evaluated (v) An instructor might explain that nominalizations often contain the sentence’s real verb. Identifying the nominalizations usually promotes a more concise sentence structure. If the students/participants need further examples of nominalizations, the instructor could provide the following examples: gentrify, gentrification; stultify, stultification; glorify, glorification. Click mouse to advance slide.

Paramedic Step 4 4. Write the nominalization/primary action as a simple verb. An evaluation… becomes evaluate or evaluates Depending on the students’/participants’ age and level of education, the instructor may want to provide further examples of how to turn a nominalization into a verb. For example, they might say the words “creation, relation, and justification” and then ask students to come up with the corresponding verbs. Click mouse to advance slide.

Paramedic Step 5 5. Ask, “Who or what performs the action?” Then write the new base clause with the agent in the subject position. Use the simple verb form from step 4. …for use in concrete pavements is presented in this paper. This paper evaluates… An instructor might explain that the writer has two options for agent/action in this sentence. If the writer chooses ‘evaluates’ as the verb, they should probably pick paper as the agent. However, if they choose ‘presents’ as the verb, they might add a person (such as the researchers/scientists/engineers) as the agent. Click mouse to advance slide. agent agent action

Paramedic Steps 6 and 7 6. Keep the base clause near the beginning of the sentence, if possible. 7. Eliminate unnecessary words and phrases. The presenter should explain to students that these two steps usually occur concurrently during composition. Sometimes, these steps require several rewritings of the sentence. If a writer feels their sentence is too wordy or difficult to understand despite their rewriting, they should continue moving around the base (S-V-O) clause and eliminating unnecessary words. Click mouse to advance slide.

The Final Product Original An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the properties of ternary mixtures for use in concrete pavements was undertaken and is presented in this paper. Revised This paper evaluates the effect of Class C fly ash and ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the properties of ternary mixtures in concrete pavements. The presenter might suggest that the paramedic can produce several satisfactory revisions. If a writer is not satisfied with the end result, they should repeat the process, making different decisions at steps four, five, six, and seven. In order to make the original sentence appear, the presenter should click their mouse once. Once the students/participants have composed their revision, the presenter can click the mouse again to make the revised sentence appear. Click mouse to advance slide.

Sample for Practice Original From the beginning, the writing of this research article was marked by reluctance. Revised I wrote the research article reluctantly. The presenter should keep in mind that students may end up with variations of this sentence, all of which may be satisfactory. The standard for judging whether or not the student’s application of the paramedic method was successful should always be its readability. Sentences from two different students may be equally readable. In order to make the original sentence appear, the presenter should click their mouse once. Once the students/participants have composed their revision, the presenter can click the mouse again to make the revised sentence appear. Finally, the presenter can click mouse to advance slide.

Sample for Practice Original As a means of providing scientists with appropriate tertiary data, the conference is intended to serve as a communication medium for everyone involved. Revised The conference will provide scientists with appropriate tertiary data and a way to share their research. The presenter should keep in mind that students may end up with variations of this sentence, all of which may be satisfactory. The standard for judging whether or not the student’s application of the paramedic method was successful should always be its readability. Sentences from two different students may be equally readable. In order to make the original sentence appear, the presenter should click their mouse once. Once the students/participants have composed their revision, the presenter can click the mouse again to make the revised sentence appear. Finally, the presenter can click mouse to advance slide.

Sample for Practice Original It was decided that the committee for road improvement would cease their activity for the term by the managers. Revised The managers decided that the committee for road improvement would cease activity for the term. The presenter should keep in mind that students may end up with variations of this sentence, all of which may be satisfactory. The standard for judging whether or not the student’s application of the paramedic method was successful should always be its readability. Sentences from two different students may be equally readable. In order to make the original sentence appear, the presenter should click their mouse once. Once the students/participants have composed their revision, the presenter can click the mouse again to make the revised sentence appear. Finally, the presenter can click mouse to advance slide.

Sample for Practice Original After the process of mixing the chemicals, cooking the substances at an appropriate temperature, filtering the remaining silt, and pouring them into the moulds, the brackets are ready to be used. Revised The brackets are ready for use after the chemicals are mixed, cooked, filtered, and fit into the moulds. The presenter should keep in mind that students may have variations of this sentence at the end of the process (all of which may be satisfactory). The standard for judging whether or not the student’s application of the paramedic method was successful should always be its readability. Sentences from two different students may be equally readable. In order to make the original sentence appear, the presenter should click their mouse once. Once the students/participants have composed their revision, the presenter can click the mouse again to make the revised sentence appear. Click mouse to advance slide.

Adapted by Joshua Prenosil and David Blakesley from The Thomson Handbook by David Blakesley and Jeffrey L. Hoogeveen Thank you for using a Purdue OWL resource.

For More Information Contact the Purdue Writing Lab: Drop In: Heavilon 226 Call: 765-494-3723 Email: owl@owl.english.purdue.edu On the web: http://owl.english.purdue.edu Thank you for using a Purdue OWL resource.