Giving Away Psychology (GaP) Project SHYNESS MANAGEMENT A Psi Beta Service Learning Project™

Welcome PLEASE SIGN IN SET UP A NAME CARD ON YOUR DESK PRESENTATION TEAM INTRODUCTIONS

What would you do? Present a scenario in which someone’s shyness tendency interfered with their ability to achieve something important to them. Ask the audience to consider why this happened, and what they would have done if it happened to them.

The psychological science on this topic Distribute the shyness inventory. Have the audience complete it. When all are done, go through the inventory and have the students answers some of the questions with a show of hands. Intersperse this exercise by showing some of the research facts about shyness.

If you are shy, you are not alone. You are in pretty good company. How Common is Shyness? If you are shy, you are not alone. You are in pretty good company.

The Most Empowering Piece of Information Don’t Suffer in Silence

A Basic Misconception about Shyness: Is Shyness the Same as Introversion? The source of confusion: Behavioral similarity but motivational differences “You can’t judge a book by its cover”

Where Shy People Say Shyness is a Problem: “Interpersonal life” Making Contact: Meeting and approaching others Making Friends: Fostering relationships Becoming Lovers: Developing intimacy

What Shy People Say They Do to Deal with Their Shyness Forced extroversion: Self-induced proximity Mental extroversion: Self-induced cognitive modification Educational extroversion: Read self-help books Assisted extroversion: Seek professional help/therapy Liquid extroversion: Self-medication

Here’s an important shyness control strategy: Learn Conversational Intelligence To do what you want to do—Be Social

Initiate conversations Keep conversations going Conversational Intelligence: The ability to engage others in a verbal exchange for the purpose of developing a social relationship How to… Initiate conversations Keep conversations going Bring others in to on-going conversations End conversations skillfully while creating future opportunities to reconnect

Why is conversational intelligence important? Every great relationship, be it personal, professional, or romantic, begins with a conversation. The key to conversing successful is learning how to connect with others, not just talk to them.

A Crash Course in Conversational Intelligence: A Step-By-Step Approach

Some Basics of Conversational Intelligence Know this Myth: People are not born with the “gift of gab” Basic Purpose: Letting others know you are willing to talk   Basic Rule: You don’t have to be brilliant, just be nice Basic Guideline: Make it easier for others—it’s about them, not about you Basic Mistake: Alcohol consumption as a substitute for confidence

Know the Guidelines for Developing the Skill of Conversational Intelligence The “Golden Rule” of Successful Conversation: Be other-focused Know the Structure of Successful Conversation: Knowing and following the guidelines   Practice Making Success Conversation: Providing yourself with opportunities to connect with others

A Step-By-Step Approach to Making Successful Conversation: The “Formula” for Connecting with Others   Begin with “setting talk” that acknowledge “we are here together”

A Step-By-Step for Connecting with Others

Step 1 – Get it started The Opening Line: Keep it simple Use the Shared Environment: Look around for “setting” talk Use the Shared Identity: We are here together What brought you here? How do you know the host? How did you meet him/her?

Step 2: Personal Introduction: Who you are and something about you   Plan Ahead: Know thy self Providing Hints for Topics: Make it easy for others Forgetting a Name: The recall remedy

Step 3: Pretopical Exploration: Fishing Around for Common Ground Build on the Beginning: Moving forward by looking back The Rule: Support the topic or offer an alternative topic A Word About Silences: Taking time to think

Step 4: Posttopical Elaboration: Keeping the Conversation Going The Role of Divergent Thinking: making links The Role of Anxiety and Alcohol: Damaging divergent thinking Avoid Favorite Topic: Conversation domination  

Step 5: Conversation Termination: Ending   Step 5: Conversation Termination: Ending Successfully Signal the End is Near: Time to go Show Appreciation: It’s been nice Demonstrate Active Listening: Summarize & highlight the conversation Establish Future Contact: Making the connection

Make Opportunities to Practice Connecting with Others Create Connecting Opportunities Join a college club or society and have shared experiences   Get a part-time job to engage in semi-structured social settings Become a Volunteer—Meet those who share your beliefs on the same cause Gradually expand your personal and social comfort zone

Continuing the Conversational Connection: A Day By-Day Approach Engage in “quick talk”   Engage in common courtesies Respond to the small-talk efforts of others Take a chance Be A host to humanity: The real solution to connecting with others is in the heart

Think of a time Think of a time that you or someone you knew behaved in a shy manner – where the shyness was a barrier for the person. Ask if anyone would like to share their experience. But first, the presenter(s) should provide a personal example (of themselves or someone they know).

Video clips Suggestions for small talk topics (advanced) – Seven minutes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU-ibdHkz4Y More on small talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpA_o3G0hGM Humor - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uM-OsynIcDw How to talk to strangers - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2cfh8X9v8s Body language of attraction - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ5PF0zqQ4s Body language tips for introverts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKpco-3vR4M

Decide for yourself Ask the audience, “Are you interested in being part of our study? We are research the effectiveness of different strategies for helping people to better manage their shyness.: If you agree to participate, we will ask you to complete a follow up survey or interview a few weeks from now. OK?

Make a plan

Reflect on what you have learned (OR RELEARNED)

SPREAD THE WORD