Personal Relationships Voluntary commitments between individuals influenced by rules, relational dialectics and the surrounding contexts. A social relationship is interaction within social roles, rather than as unique individuals.

Committed Romantic Relationships Dimensions of romantic relationships: Intimacy Commitment Passion

Dialectical Theory Autonomy Connection Novelty Predictability Openness Closedness

Relational Dialectics Autonomy/Connection I need my own space. I want to be close. Novelty /Predictability We need to do I like the familiar something new. rhythms we have. Openness/Closedness I like sharing so There are some much with you. things I don’t want to talk about.

Responding to Dialectics Neutralization negotiates a balance between the two poles. Give priority to one need and neglect the other. Separate by assigning one need to certain interactions and opposing needs to another aspect of interaction. Reframe by redefining contradictory needs so they are not in opposition. The least effective way to manage dialectics is to honor one need and repress the opposing need.

Styles of Love Agape Storge Eros Mania Pragma Ludus generous selfless friendship stable Eros passionate sudden Mania unsure others love them Pragma practical Ludus playful

Western Perceptions of the Evolution of a Romantic Relationship -Growth Individuals are not interacting. Individuals signal they are interested in communication. Exploration exchanges information to explore the possibilities for a relationship. Intensifying increases the depth of the relationship. Revising looks at the relationship more realistically. Commitment is a decision to stay with a relationship permanently.

Western Perceptions of the Evolution of a Romantic Relationship -Deterioration Dyadic breakdown--degeneration of patterns, understandings, and routines. Intrapsychic--brooding about problems and partner--beginning to think about alternatives. Dyadic--discussion of problems (doesn’t always occur). Social phase--figuring out how to tell outsiders about the parting and seeking their support. Grave dressing--burying the relationship and accepting its end.

Relationship Maintenance The relational culture originally created will be refined and transformed. Partners must understand change and adapt to it. Daily routines are the lifeblood of relationships. Everyday routines, shared concerns, ways of interacting, conversation, and reflection

Developmental Stages in Romantic Relationships Navigation Intimate bonding Revising communication Intensifying communication Explorational communication Invitational communication Dyadic breakdown Intrapsychic phase Dyadic phase Social support Grave dressing Individuals

Surviving Distance Build climates that are trusting, open and honest. Focus on what is positive and good. About the relationship About the separation Remember that each partner can concentrate more fully on work, school or other priorities.

CNN, Interpersonal Communication, Volume 3

Challenges to Romantic Relationships Creating equitable relationships Women usually assume psychological responsibility which involves remembering, planning, and coordinating domestic activities. Resisting violence 28% of women in the US report at least one episode of physical violence. Negotiating safer sex People find it more embarrassing to talk about sex than participate in it. Rational thought and control are debilitated by alcohol or drugs.

The Cycle of Abuse Stage 1 Tension Stage 4 Honeymoon Stage 2 Explosion Stage 3 Remorse

Based on the communication involved! Relationships Build Stabilize Deteriorate Based on the communication involved!

Experiencing Communication in our Lives . . . View the following video clip and then answer the questions that follow based on material presented in this chapter.

Communication Scenarios, Wadsworth/Thomson

1. What love style do you think Meg and Trevor have 1. What love style do you think Meg and Trevor have? What cues in the dialogue lead you to identify each person’s love style? 2. Based on the dialogue how would you judge Trevor and Meg’s level of commitment to the relationship? 3. What aspects of context seem to influence Meg’s and Trevor’s preferences for how the relationship should proceed?