Relationship Power and Violence

What is power? “Power" is the ability (real or perceived) to bring about significant change in someone’s life that they would normally not do.

Six Bases of Power Coercive power - based on dominant partner’s ability to punish partner with psychological, emotional or physical abuse or withholding affection or favors i.e. Silent treatment Reward power - based on ability to give material or nonmaterial gifts and favors. Examples? Expert power - stems from dominant partners superior judgment, knowledge or ability. Informational power - based on the persuasive content of what the dominant partner tells another individual. Referent power - power or ability of individuals to persuade and influence others. It's based on the charisma and interpersonal skills of the power holder. The person under power desires to identify with these personal qualities, and gains satisfaction from being an accepted follower Legitimate power - based on individual’s ability to claim authority. Examples? Traditional families?

The Resource Hypothesis Spouse with more resources has more power in the marriage. Recent studies suggested that the marriages today are more likely to be egalitarian (Blood and Wolfe) 72% egalitarian 25%husbands 3% wives BUT: Critics: Focuses on background characteristics and doesn’t consider how partners interact. Explains marital power only when there is no overriding egalitarian or patriarchal norm.

How Resources and Legitimate Power Affect Conjugal Power

Relative love and need theory “Principle of the least invested” Person with less commitment has more power

Who has the power in a relationship? Overt : Clearly influences what is done Covert: Not-so-clearly influences what is done Power behind the throne Quote from “My Big Fat Greek wedding” “The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants”

Other power positions in relationships Sometimes, “those who are most helpless” hold the most power: Any examples?

Power… The addicted The chronically ill The depressed “We can’t let them get upset…” Failures to thrive: You take over their responsibilities

Violence in families Violence is highly related to the asymmetry in relationship power Different data available 1 out of 6 couples in USA an individual commits at least one violent act against partner IPV (intimate partner violence)– violence committed by spouses, ex-spouses, or current or former boy/girl friends and same sex partners

% of Persons Physically Assaulted by an Intimate Partner in Lifetime Type of Assault Women (n=8,000) Men (n=8,000) Total physical assault by intimate partner 22.1 7.4 Threw something 8.1 4.4 Pushed, grabbed, shoved 18.1 5.4 Pulled hair 9.1 2.3 Slapped, hit 16.0 5.5 Kicked, bit 2.6

% of Persons Physically Assaulted by an Intimate Partner in Lifetime Type of Assault Women (n=8,000) Men (n=8,000) Choked, tried to drown 6.1 0.5 Hit with object 5.0 3.2 Beat up 8.5 0.6 Threatened with gun 3.5 0.4 Threatened with knife 2.8 1.6 Used gun 0.7 0.1 Used knife 0.9 0.8

More stats on IPV 39-54% of dating violence victims remain in physically abusive relationships 51% of college men admit perpetrating one or more sexual assault incidents during college 12% of completed rapes, 35% of attempted rapes, and 22% of threatened rapes occur on a date 44% of women murdered by their intimate partner had visited an emergency department within 2 years of the homicide. Of these women, 93% had at least one injury visit Between 4% and 8% of pregnant women are abused at least once during the pregnancy

Common myths about Family Violence Myth # 1: Partner violence is the most frequent kind of domestic violence and is increasing. Can you guess which type is the highest? Myth #2: Men are more violent than women Myth #3: Family violence only happens in lower-class families More privacy in middle-class families, can conceal it better What other reasons? Myth # 4: Myth # 5: Violence exists more in heterosexual relationships Violence occurs between same sex partners at the same or greater rate as in heterosexual relationships

2 types of IPV Common relationship violence vs. patriarchal terrorism Any controlling, abusive, aggressive behavior in a romantic dating relationship Can include verbal, emotional, and physical, or sexual abuse or a combination of these Situational Men and women do it as often

Patriarchal terrorism Almost always men towards women Cyclical Based on power and control http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HC5rv3grFGc&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDBpzvxxhvk

Patriarchal terrorism: Cycle of Violence

Cycle of violence Tension from a minor issue builds over time. The situation escalates, eventually exploding into a violent episode. Husband becomes genuinely contrite, treating his life lovingly.

WHY DOES IT HAPPEN? The person feels impotent. The usual power tactics may not be working, or they never learned any. Social learning from the family of origin Media Alcohol

Conceptual Model of Abused Women’s Stay/leave Decision-making Process