Uses and Abuses of Language Interplay Ch. 5 Language The Nature of Language The Impact of Language Uses and Abuses of Language Gender and Language INTERPLAY Ch.5 Language

Ch. 5 The Nature of Language I. Nature of Language A. It is Symbolic. 1. Words just arbitrary symbols (codes). 2. WE assign meaning & use symbols. The hearing impaired also use a very symbolic language. (Tolar et al, 2008) Communication across different sign languages which have developed can be as challenging as across different spoken languages.

I. Nature of Language B. Language is rule-governed. 1. Phonological rules: govern how sounds form words 2. Syntactic rules: govern how symbols can be arranged 3. Semantic rules: govern the structure & meaning of words 4. Pragmatic rules: govern appropriateness of using & interpreting messages in a given context. - relationship plays a role; perception-checking is useful.

I. Nature of Language C. Language is Subjective. 1. People can attach different meanings to the same message. 2. Meanings are in people, not words. a. We must negotiate or assign meaning. b. Perception-checking is useful.

The Nature of Language, cont. D. Language & Worldview Theory of Linguistic Relativism: a culture’s worldview is shaped and reflected by the language its members speak. It shapes, but doesn’t completely determine your thinking and cultural identity. Sapir-Whorf hypothesis= example of language shaping reality. (Hopi language has the world in process constantly, like a motion picture, b/c most things represented as verbs, but English (distinction between nouns and verbs) is more like a series of snapshots. )

II. IMPACT of Language (on perceptions & regard for each other) A. Naming 1. Choosing a name can mean integrating with the majority culture or identifying with an ethnic culture= credibility. (Jr., George Washington Abdul, etc.) 2. Names can identify status: socio-economic groups favor names in certain time periods 3. Women’s identities & choosing marriage names: - No significant diff. in self-esteem, dependency, autonomy, or control in marriages if keeping name 4. Women who kept names had advanced degrees, longer careers before marriage, & worked in arts or writing.

Language Impact: Credibility and Status How you choose and pronounce words/names impacts others’ accepting or rejecting our ideas. Accents can influence people believing you or not. Vocabulary can also affect your credibility. You can be judged believable and important or not.

II. Impact of Language B. Affiliation 1. Convergence: The process of building and showing solidarity w/others by adapting vocabulary, rate, pauses, & politeness. a. We can choose to adapt for approval or to accommodate & help another fit in. b. Individuals remind world of their relationship; close relationships can create “own” terms; at work we usually copy higher status; in courts done to impress (attorney); & in a new culture, immigrants may adapt to “fit in” and/ or to succeed faster. c. Also entire groups can adapt: gangs to military d. In cyberspace =shared language & style + more “we” pronouns; larger scale=shortcuts (lol); Internet savy. e. If you feel equally positive, convergence will be mutual.

II. Impact of Language, cont. B. Affiliation, cont. 2. Divergence: speaking to emphasize differences to set you apart. ▪ Be careful about when to (or not to) converge. ▪ Can cross lines if needed (age, ethnicity) ▪ Set norms about who has right to use certain words/phrases.

II. Impact of Language, cont. C. Power 1. Some patterns add to or detract from your power to influence. ▪ Powerful speech may make you appear competent & employable. ▪ Powerless mannerisms: Hedges, Hesitations, Tag ?s, Intensifiers, Polite Forms, & Disclaimers make you seem less attractive & less authoritative. 2. Culture influences powerful/powerless speech. ▪ “Collectivistic cultures prefer indirect speech. Saving face can be more important than sounding powerful ▪ Individualistic cultures prefer direct speech. 3. Politeness can mask true intensions and true control ▪Can be misinterpreted as weakness, so … ▪Competent communicators remain flexible & ▪Adapt to the conversational partner

II. Language Impact of Sexism & Racism D. Sexism 1. Sexist language= words, phrases, & expressions unnecessarily differentiating between females & males OR excluding, trivializing or diminishing either sex. a. Usually implies men are superior to women. b. Can stereotype and stigmatize 2. Eliminate 2 ways: a. Use neutral terms (plural pronoun “they”, “fire fighter”, “letter carrier”, or “sewer lid” for manhole OR b. Mark sex clearly to notify (if chairperson IS a chairman or chairwoman.

II. Impact of Language, cont. E. Racist language : classifies a racial group as superior or inferior. 1. Not always deliberate & connotations words/ images associated with some words can imply negativity. 2. Eliminating: Free words of offensive labels & slurs. Modifiers can be subtle indicators if not needed. Note: “Female doctor,” “white merchant,” “Iranian professor” (Many adjectives are not needed.)

III. Language Uses & Abuses A. Precision or vagueness depends on the goal, the context, and the culture. (Ambiguous= more than one commonly accepted definition) 1. Ambiguity can cause trivial or serious misunderstandings 2. Responsibility for interpreting accurately is in large part the receiver’s. (Perception checking, paraphrasing & questioning) 3. Ambiguity can be useful in avoiding hurting others & “saving face” for self and others. (euphemisms) “custodial engineer”

III. Language Uses & Abuses, cont. B. Abstraction- Generalizing about similarities Ladder of Abstraction (p. 155) 1. May help avoid confrontation and/or embarrassment by being deliberately unclear. (vague) 2. HIGHLY abstract language can cause problems: Stereotyping, confusion, sexual assault – Antioch College 3. Reduce high-level abstractions-by using behavioral descriptions. -These are much clearer and more effective.

III. Language Uses & Abuses B. Euphemisms- A nice or innocuous way to say or soften an unkind or unpleasant message. (ie. Custodial engineer-janitor) ▪ Not the same as lying ▪ Saves face for both parties ▪Tend to use them with persons of higher status

III. Language Use & Abuses, cont. C. Relative Language= Compares w/o explaining relative terms, leading to problems. ▪ small, large, short, long, rich, cheap = vague ▪ Use clearly measurable terms or link it to those. ▪ Potential for lots of misunderstanding ie. “I just bought my daughter a small house for Xmas.” “Wow! That’s very generous of you!” “ Why? It’s only a toy one.”

III. Language Uses & Abuses, cont. D. Static Evaluation-no possible change This language abuse assumes people or things can’t change by using the verb to be. “She’s a liar.” 8( ▪ Fix by avoiding the verb “to be” (is, are, was, were) & clarifying a time frame. “In 1st grade she lied to me.” ▪ Be sure to imply people (or you) can change.

III. Language Uses & Abuses, cont. E. Language of Responsibility 1. Avoid: - “it” language- replace with “I” lang. Take responsibility for your words! - “BUT” language- tends to cancel the preceding thought. “You’re a good student, but you’re flunking.” Doesn’t it cancel the 1st part? …or feel like that? (YES!) ▪ Can be face-saving strategy at times. ▪ When clarity is the most important thing, use NO “but” statements.

III. Language Uses & Abuses, cont. E. 2. Use YOU, I, and WE correctly. ▪ Positive YOU language is supportive (“Your yard looks good!”), but much YOU language is judgmental & creates defensiveness. (“You’re rude.”) ▪ Use 3-part “I” statements (not necessarily in order) 1) Describe other’s behavior 2) Describe your feelings 3) State consequences of the behavior for you “When you washed the sweater my mom made for me in hot water, it shrank, and I’m upset because I can’t wear it when she comes this weekend.”

III. Language Uses & Abuses, cont. E. 2. cont. “Use I” statements in moderation. Too many can sound egotistical. (They do not always get nondefensive responses.) Consider “WE” language. “We’re in this together.” Implies both of you are concerned & responsible. Be careful: Include others without speaking for them. NOT” We will all avoid ordering onions.” or “No one will order onions.” You can combine “I” and “WE” statements.

III. Lang. Uses & Abuses F. Disruptive Language- understood but disruptive, so eliminate it! 1. Fact-Opinion Confusion (truth vs. opinion) “His grade was higher.” vs. “He’s smarter.” 2. Fact-Inference Confusion (truth vs. an interpretation of evidence)”Why is he upset with me?” “He isn’t. He said his dad just died.” 3. Emotive language (seems to describe, but really announces an attitude) “thrifty vs. cheap”

IV. Gender and Language A. Extent of Differences in Men’s & Women’s Language Use 1. Basic Differences= Not from 2 planets, but 2 cultures - raised to talk differently (Tannen, 2001) a. women use talk to seek close relationships & non- confrontational talk b. men use talk for competition & conversational dominance. 2. Important Differences: reasons, topics, style, settings a. Reasons (Burleson et al, 1996) 1) Females=NEED empathy; 2) Men LIKE talking for fun. (Sherman & Haas,’84) b. Topics: what they discuss 1) females= relationships; feelings, personal problems; also other women & men 2) Men= sports, hobbies, activities 3) Both= work, movies, & television

IV. Gender & Language, cont. 2 c. Style differs per gender role. 1) Sentences= Female’s longer; Male’s= more fragments (Mulac, 2006) 2) Language= Female more elaborate, tentative, & emotional (more feelings & intensive adverbs: (“really good…”); Male Language=more directive, more “I” references & more judgments). 3) Power= Female lang. often less assertive, more statements of uncertainty, hedges, & tag ?s, making sound less powerful; Male lang.= more assertive & may sound more powerful. d. Setting matters: same sex=woman talk longer, more confidently; mixed sex= men talk longer; in small groups, Females talk more; in large ones Men talk more.

IV. Language Gender Differences 3. Minor differences: “Men are from North Dakota and Women are from South Dakota”, rather than another from different planets. (Dindia, 2006) a. Women slightly more emotionally expressive and men slightly more humorous b. Differences relatively minor in light of similarities c. We don’t speak 2 languages, so don’t polarize. d. Use this information to choose appropriate language for each interpersonal exchange.

IV. Gender & Language, cont. B. Accounting for Gender Differences Real: 1. Social philosophy plays a role. Parents allow children to believe they must speak differently. 2. Occupation influences style. 3. Gender roles influence more than biological sex. 4. Power differences influence- “feminine speech” has more to do w/ historically women had less power Perceived: 5. Media influences us to perceive speech differences are based on gender. Equal opportunities & more similar social experiences will result in fewer differences.