Chapter 6 Dealing with Conflict

Interpersonal Dynamics Interpersonal dynamics – are the give and take behavior between people during human relations Interpersonal dynamics grow increasingly complex as more people interact

Key Topics of Interpersonal Dynamics Transactional Analysis Assertiveness Conflict Management

Transactional Analysis (TA) Method for determining how people interact When we interact, behavior can be: passive aggressive assertive TA is a method of understanding behavior in interpersonal dynamics

TA: Ego States Major ego states that affect our behavior or the way we transact: Parent Ego State (P) Critical parent Sympathetic parent Child Ego State (C) Natural child Adapted child Adult Ego State (A)

TA: Types of Transactions Within ego states there are three different types of transactions: Complementary Transactions Crossed Transactions Ulterior Transactions

Complementary Transactions Occur when the sender of the message gets the intended response from the receiver Supervisor Employee P P A A C C

Crossed Transactions Occur when the sender of a message does not get the expected response from the receiver Supervisor Employee P P A A C C

Ulterior Transactions Occur when the words seem to be coming from one ego state, but in reality the words or behaviors are coming from another Sometimes people do not know what they want or how to ask for it in a direct way Thus they will use ulterior transactions Best to avoid ulterior transactions because they tend to waste time

Attitude toward Oneself Attitude toward Others TA: Life Positions I’m OK – You’re not OK You’re OK I’m not OK – Positive Attitude toward Oneself Negative Negative Positive Attitude toward Others 4

TA: Stroking Stroking – any behavior that implies recognition of another’s presence Positive – make people feel good about themselves Negative – can hurt people in some way Giving praise (positive stroking) is a powerful motivation technique

Assertiveness The process of expressing thoughts and feelings while asking for what one wants in an appropriate way Present your message without falling into the traps of being: “too pushy” (aggressive) “not tough enough” (nonassertive-passive)

Behaviors when dealing with a diversity of people: Passive Behavior Aggressive Passive-Aggressive Assertive 4

Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Speakers: Passive speakers: Use self-limiting qualifying expressions without stating their position / needs Assertive speakers: State their position / needs without violating the rights of others Aggressive speakers: State their position / needs while violating the rights of others using “you-messages” and absolutes

Assertive Behavior Generally the most productive behavior Generally the most effective method of getting what you want while not taking advantage of others Being assertive can create a win-win situation

Assertiveness Steps Step 1. Set an Objective: Specify what you want to accomplish Step 2. Determine how to create a win-win situation: Assess the situation in terms of meeting your needs and the other person’s needs Step 3. Develop an assertive phrase(s) Step 4. Implement your plan persistently

Anger and Violence in the Workplace Human resources managers have reported increased violence between employees Women commit nearly 25 percent of all threats or attacks Violence between outsiders and employees is increasing Anger can lead to violence

Causes of Anger and Violence Intrapersonal causes: e.g., frustration, stress, and fear Interpersonal unresolved conflicts Physical work environment: e.g., space to work, noise, odors, temperature, ventilation, and color Hostile work environment

Dealing with Your Anger Use rational thinking Look for positives Look for the humor in the situation to help defuse the anger Use assertive behavior Develop a positive attitude about how you deal with anger Use an anger journal

Dealing with Anger of Others (1 of 2) Never make any type of putdown statement Don’t respond to anger and threats with the same behavior Don’t give orders or ultimatums Watch your nonverbal communications to show concern and to avoid appearing aggressive

Dealing with Anger of Others (2 of 2) Realize that anger is natural and encourage people to vent in appropriate ways Acknowledge the person’s feelings Get away from the person if necessary

Signs of Potential Violence Take verbal threats seriously Watch nonverbal communication Watch for stalking and harassment Watch for damage to property Watch for indications of alcohol and drug use Include the isolated employee Look for the presence of weapons or objects that might be used as weapons

Conflict Conflict exists whenever two or more parties are in disagreement Conflict is inherent in an organizational system Conflict can increase as the workforce becomes more diverse Dealing with conflict is part of emotional intelligence

Reasons for Conflict Communications problems or conflicts arise for three primary reasons: 1. We fail to make our expectations known to other parties 2. We fail to find out the expectations of other parties 3. We assume that the other parties have the same expectations that we have

Conflict Has Positive Benefits Conflict can be beneficial A balance of conflict is essential to all organizations Too little or too much conflict is usually a sign of management’s unwillingness or inability to adapt to a diversified environment

Summary of Conflict Management Styles Forcing Conflict Style: User attempts to resolve conflict by using aggressive behavior Avoiding Conflict Style: User attempts to passively ignore the conflict rather than resolve it Accommodating Conflict Style: User attempts to resolve conflict by passively giving in to the other party Compromising Conflict Style: User attempts to resolve the conflict through assertive give-and-take concessions Collaborating Conflict Style: User assertively attempts to jointly resolve the conflict with the best solution agreeable to all parties. The problem-solving style

Roles in Conflict Resolution Initiator Responder Mediator

The XYZ Model The XYZ model describes a problem in terms of behavior, consequences, and feelings: When you do X (behavior), Y (consequences) happens, and I have Z (feelings)

Initiating Conflict Resolution Step 1. Plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model Step 2. Implement your plan persistently Step 3. Make an agreement for change

Responding to Conflict Resolution Step 1. Listen to and paraphrase the problem using the XYZ model Step 2. Agree with some aspect of the complaint Step 3. Ask for, and / or give, alternative solutions Step 4. Make an agreement for change

Mediating Conflict Resolution Step 1. Have each party state his or her complaint using the XYZ model Step 2. Agree on the problem(s) Step 3. Develop alternative solutions Step 4. Make an agreement for change and follow up

Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics (1 of 3) People with the same personality type tend to get along better and have less conflict than those with different personality types If you have a high surgency personality – watch your use of the critical parent ego state be sure to give lots of positive strokes to help human relations be careful not to use aggressive behavior to get what you want

Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics (2 of 3) If you have a high agreeableness personality, you tend to get along well with others be careful not to use the sympathetic parent ego state watch the appropriate use of the child ego state Adjustment – is about how well you deal with your emotions especially anger

Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics (3 of 3) There is a relationship between adjustment and openness to experience If you are not well adjusted, you are probably not open to experience If you are a high conscientious personality, you can still transact from the parent or child ego state