Non-Verbal Communication I like the way you move… …Professionally. Non-Verbal Communication

Observing Nonverbal Comm. Watch the following clip from Big Bang Theory up to 5:35. What nonverbal communication techniques do Sheldon and Penny utilize during the “lesson”? What can you infer about the characters from what is NOT SAID? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEIn3T6nDAo GXEX1406 Thinking and Communication Skills – Week 4 Non Verbal Communication

Non-Verbal Communication Non-verbal communication makes NO use of the words, sentences, grammar and other structures that we associate with spoken and written language. Non-verbal communication includes: Facial expressions Eye contact Tone of voice Body posture and motions Positioning within groups

Non-Verbal Communication Types of non-verbal communication we are going to focus on this week: Proxemics and Orientation Eye contact or gaze Facial expression Gesture, especially use of hands and arms Posture

Why Proxemics is important! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGVSIkEi3mM&list=PLvabEoNpMU5XXQoyFik-taxnUIfB4q8q7 GXEX1406 Thinking and Communication Skills – Week 4 Non Verbal Communication

1. Proxemics The study of how we handle the space around us, especially in relation to other people Human beings are territorial! How space is occupied reflects the power relations within groups of people (typically the more powerful a person, the larger and more impressive the space they will occupy) We create for ourselves spaces that belong to us and to which we try carefully to control access Examples: Our homes Our spaces at work or school

Proxemics - continued Proxemics also refers to the space we carry with us in public places Invisible bubble around us Determined by the situation and by the relationship we have or might like to have with the person or people who are near to us In crowded place, such as a bus or train Cultural / religious differences in our attitudes to the proximity, or nearness, of other people Women that are Orthrodox Jewish (very conservative) have to sit on separate sides of the synagogue during weekly services

Proxemics - continued Consider how spaces are occupied within the classroom. How is the teacher’s space marked? How do you mark your space in this class? Other classes? Where would a newcomer or visitor sit? What do you feel if you are in: A crowded bus? A stadium? A lonely beach?

Proxemics - continued Orientation is closely linked to proxemics The way in which people place themselves relative to one another Example: When someone comes sits next to you, it is generally seen as a much friendlier orientation (closeness) than someone who sits directly opposite (potentially confrontational) to you. Consider… Why do we feel uncomfortable when someone stands behind us? How do you feel when I stand next to you while I am teaching? What about if I sit down next to you to talk about an assignment?

Eye Contact: Why we look where! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAP36I2Xkq8 GXEX1406 Thinking and Communication Skills – Week 4 Non Verbal Communication

2. Eye Contact Eye Contact is an important way in which we communicate our feelings towards other people Communicates honesty, interest, and allows you to gauge a person’s interest in a conversation Although people may hide the truth with words, their true feelings will be revealed in their eyes However eye contact has some degree of ambiguity about its meaning (has the opposite meaning) Good eye contact includes: Alert eyes (shows awareness) Looking another person straight in the eye when speaking (shows honesty)

Eye Contact - continued We are deeply suspicious of people who ‘cannot look us in the eye’; they are seen as shifty or people with something to hide People can avoid eye contact with other person when: An uncomfortable question asked. Want to reduce tension and build trust rather than increase tension. Staring is identified as threatening form of behavior If we staring at someone, their behavior will often change and can become either defensive or aggressive towards you Gazing – look steadily; men gaze at women, sometimes in intimidating way

GXEX1406 Thinking and Communication Skills – Week 4 Non Verbal Communication

3. Facial Expression Be consciously aware of your facial expressions! Human face has a complex arrangement of muscles that allows us to produce a range of expressions, most of which are an index of our feelings (happy, sad, pain, etc.) The face is one of the most reliable indicators of a person’s attitudes, emotions, and feelings Be consciously aware of your facial expressions! People WILL interpret your face, whether you like it or not! Your facial expressions should be appropriate and in-line with what you are saying, as well as your main point.

Do you have a losing face? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMDHD-fHz0Q GXEX1406 Thinking and Communication Skills – Week 4 Non Verbal Communication

Facial Expression - continued Smiling is an important facial gesture that indicate that we pleased to see other people But did you know there are MULTIPLE types of smiles? “I’m feeling content” smiles “I’m feeling a little stressed” smiles “I’m a bit sad” smiles “I can’t believe you just did that” smiles “How do I get out of this conversation?” smiles

Gestures are NOT universal! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YxXsQMAvWg GXEX1406 Thinking and Communication Skills – Week 4 Non Verbal Communication

4. Gestures (Hands and arms) Gestures are movements that express an idea or meaning, such as a handshake Many gestures are automatic When we are speaking on the phone, we still make hand gestures, for example Gestures should supplement or clarify what you are saying Good gestures include: regularly steepling hands to keep excessive movement in control hands mime what you're saying arms at 90 degrees to body, open, with palms up Indicates openness and acceptance.

4. Gestures (Hands and arms) Bad gestures include: Tightly clenched hands - indicates that the person is experiencing undue pressure. It may be difficult to relate to this person because of his tension Cupping one or both hands over the mouth may indicate that you are trying to hide something Questionble gestures include: Standing and joining your hands behind your back Authority or egotism? Rubing gently behind or beside the ear with the index finger or rubbing the eye Confused or flirty? Leaning back with both hands supporting the head Cocky or confident?

5. Posture Posture is the way in which we position our bodies in conversation Posture is another sign of the status and role within society Think about ROTC practice! Use posture as one means of indicating to another person our feelings of friendship or hostility “Hands on hips” represents confrontation and hostility Groups imitate the postures of the people they are with, called mirroring Cross legs, fold their arms as their group members do Reinforce group identities

GXEX1406 Thinking and Communication Skills – Week 4 Non Verbal Communication

Posture - continued Make sure your posture looks natural Shoulders back, head held high Keep your feet slightly apart Like gestures, you should move your body to emphasize your point or indicate a transition in topic Excessive movement shows nervousness People who stand with their shoulders hunched and hands in their pockets tend to be secretive and critical Makes them seem to dislike what is going on around them People who are preoccupied or thinking, usually stand with their heads down, hands clasped behind their backs, and can pace very slowly.

Okay, so what do I do when I’m the one listening…? When you are listening to a person, YOUR non-verbals matter and can regulate the conversation Evaluation gestures say that the listener is being thoughtful or is considering what you are saying Can be in a friendly way and unfriendly way Typical positive evaluation gestures include: tilted head hand to cheek leaning forward chin stroking

Is Ray really “listening”? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP55nA8fQ9I GXEX1406 Thinking and Communication Skills – Week 4 Non Verbal Communication

Okay, so what do I do when I’m the one listening…? Critical evaluative gestures include: The body is more drawn back The hand is to the face, but the chin is in the palm of the hand with one finger going up the cheek and the other fingers positioned below the mouth It looks sassy, trust me! Dropping one’s eyeglasses to the lower bridge of noise and peering over them GXEX1406 Thinking and Communication Skills – Week 4 Non Verbal Communication

Okay, so what do I do when I’m the one listening…? This is NOT rocket science but you can show us just how BORED you are... Drumming of fingers Cupping the head in the palm of the hand Foot swinging Brushing or picking a lint Looking at your watch or the exit Be kind to one another – teachers may be used to it, but your peers aren’t! GXEX1406 Thinking and Communication Skills – Week 4 Non Verbal Communication