Managing Teen Anxiety Candice Ackerman, PhD Psychologist & Clinic Director Flourish Counseling & Mental Wellness Center

Disclaimer This is not medical advice, nor does it constitute a therapeutic relationship - this is general education If you have questions about your child (or anyone else you know), please come and talk to us! We offer free consultations!

What is Anxiety? Anxiety can be: ”Normal” anxiety When anxiety is a problem Anxiety can be: Restlessness Excessive worrying Difficulty sleeping Fatigue Difficulty concentrating Irritability Tense muscles

Other forms of anxiety Anger Physical Symptoms Depression

Why do we get anxious? Anxiety is a message to our brain: DANGER! Your life is at stake! Do something! Problem: We are rarely in real life-threatening situations anymore, but our mind doesn’t know the difference if we let it Fight versus Flight versus Freeze Instinctual responses because now is not the time to be thinking slow (remember, you could die!)

What makes anxiety worse? In general: Avoidance (Flight) Beliefs that reinforce anxiety Low self-esteem Avoidance also lowers self-esteem and self-confidence

A typical anxiety episode

Rational vs. Emotional Mind Healthy Mindset Fear Calm Brain Stem All Parts Prefrontal Cortex

Negative self-talk Our emotional brain is very good at coming up with ”drama” “I can’t do this” ”I will always be this way” “I’m weird”

The problem for teens: The rational brain is not completely online yet! i.e. Life is more drama-filled

Okay, so what do I DO about it? Things to not say: “Calm down” “Suck it up” “Its all in your head” “I know how you feel” “Its really not a big deal” “What do you have to worry about?” “Why can’t you just ____________?” “Did I do something wrong?”

Responding to Anxiety Ask questions The art of listening Express understanding

Asking Questions Help your teen verbalize what is going on for them “What happened?” “What’s going on for you right now?” “What are you feeling?” By increasing verbalization of feelings, their rational brain can come back online

The Art of Listening and Understanding First: Listening is HARD! Listening can consist of: “Minimal encouragers” “Yes” “Uh-huh” “Whoa!” Paraphrase Repeat back what they just said to you Reflection (of empathy/emotion) “That sounds so hard!” ”It sounds like this really worries you.”

How to work to your teen FIRST: You do not need to know all of the answers! Listen to understand, not to reply “How can I help?” Normalize anxiety, but do not enable avoidance. “Its okay to be anxious!” Unconditional Positive Support and Love Speaking to anxiety as separate from your teen Encourage a discussion of thoughts, emotions, feelings, “give me the play-by- play” to bring the prefrontal cortex back online

When therapy is a good idea Anxiety is affecting school performance, relationships with other people, health, ability to have fun/relax Basically, anxiety is causing your teen a sense of paralysis Therapy helps encourage this process of “uncovering” what is going on in our heads – once we know and understand our fears, it is easier to work with them If your teen has no one to talk to (because lets face it, some teens don’t want to talk to their parents) Repeated attempts to try and relieve anxiety with no success

Questions? director@flourishcounselingcenter.com Call or visit us online! 512-237-7326 or www.flourishcounselingcenter.com