Welcome to

Saying Goodbye to Teammates See ya Later. Gator! John & terry harris

Life Changes for Couples Today’s Lesson – May 01, 2016 Life Changes for Couples Intro By Martin Edwards

life changes for couples A Biblical 12-Step Journey for Marriage Enrichment

What?...Another Marriage Study! Marriage is under attack Consider How TV and Movies Portray Marriage Consider How Often Marriages Explode Consider Your Marriage Marriages can always use a tune up How well do you maintain your car…home…etc.?

Are you a “Hot Mess”? Origin of the term 18th Century military term - facility providing hot food 19th Century military term – an especially tough battle Today societal term – "person's appearance is in a state of total disarray while still maintaining an undeniable attractiveness"

The Good News – God Understands Scripture guides when we encounter a mess 19 Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God. 20 Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin. Romans 3:19-20 (NIV)

The Good News – God Guides Scripture guides when we think we can help 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matthew 7: 4 – 5 (NIV) Yank the plank!

C. S. Lewis – Mere Christianity Why did he become a Christian? Saw couples quarreling Each appealed to a standard above themselves “through the law we become conscious of our sin” How do we apply that in our marriages? Do we bring Christ into the center of marriage? Is Jesus’ example (love others) our measuring stick?

Book Process – Small Group Model Separation to allow dialog and accountability

The Book Process Instruction Interaction Introspection Table Talk Bringing it home Making it real A Texas 2-Step The Challenge Identified The Step Explained Instruction Interaction Introspection A Tool Box The means to remember A picture to support

Freedom Group Guidelines Anonymity – protect identities Confidentiality – said at table stays at table Self-Focus – this is self-help not fix others Respect – we are all messes so be respectful Letting God Work – share you do not preach at them Limited Sharing – be aware of others’ need to share Allowance of feelings – deal with them kindly Regular Attendance – showing up matters Listening – do we need a talking stick? Staying on subject – rabbit holes are for hunting rabbits

The Healing Environment 31 Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 32 I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” Luke 5:32-32 Why do you go to the hospital? What are your expectations of that visit? How could a visit to a “marriage hospital” benefit your marriage?

The Healing Environment Some Facts: We all make self-destructive choices We are all one dumb decision from the next mess Our Desired Outcome ?...it’s up to you (both of you) What is the main need that causes you to show up week after week at Team Mates?

Your Mantra to Succeed Suit Up Show Up Speak Up Consider the information provided Show Up Be here Speak Up Participate in a constructive manner for personal insight

The Goal What is the prescription for success? Integrity What is presented on the outside is the same as what is actually on the inside Paradox of integrity Integrity is not climbing up to but crawl down to Principle: The main hindrance to integrity is fear. I cannot live with integrity as long as I need your approval or fear your disapproval

Table Talk How much of your life is driven by the need for approval or the fear of disapproval? What is different on your outside from what is really on your inside?

The Goal What is the prescription for success? Perseverance Real change is a process requiring time This is where the team comes in Hope – when you loose hope seek others Healing – encouraging others’ successes is positive Help – establish loving accountable relationships

Table Talk Do you consider yourself a finisher? Why? How can the team help you be a finisher?

The Goal What is the prescription for success? Wholeness When emotional & spiritual health are at a point where you are giving more than taking Principle Gratitude unlocks the door to wholeness Luke 17 – Jesus heals the 10 men with leprosy

Table Talk List 3 things you are grateful to God for in your marriage Homework: Decide what you are going to do with this information Discuss the most important thing you learned this week with your spouse

Prayer Time Pray for your marriage Pray for your spouse – no fix them prayers Pray for Team Mates – arm us for spiritual warfare Pray for yourself – seek to realize your need for healing and seek God to be healed

life change for couples The Emotional/Spiritual Principle Next Week… May 8th life change for couples Chapter 2 The Emotional/Spiritual Principle