Healing The Church Wake up, and strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God ESV Rev 3:2 So with yourselves, since you are eager for manifestations of the Spirit, strive to excel in building up the church ESV 1 Cor 14:12 And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches. ESV 2 Cor 11:28

Burns continue to burn even after the heat is removed.

When Catastrophic Crises Occur In The Church Major Damage To Community Tornado Fire/flood Fatal accident involving members on church sponsored trip Shooting Vandalism Moral failure Conflict Pastor’s or staff sudden death

“Wounded by the Church” by Francis Anfuso May 26, 2010 Relevant Magazine. Diagnosing the epidemic Anfuso’s long journey into church issues began with an online survey of more than 600 participants, primarily from two healthy churches. He found: 89 percent say they have church wounds. 79 percent say they’ve been significantly healed. 99 percent say they’re willing to forgive anyone who hurt them in the past. 59 percent say they’ve considered not going to church again because of their experience. Read more at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/church/features/21693-wounded-by-the- church#M8pZMUoVlVZx4a5Y.99

Seven Ways to Heal the Church Pray– plan a solemn assembly Stay purposefully connected, make every effort to contact members, encourage them to participate in fellowship and worship services. Be honest Shame vs Grace Forgive: God, Others and Self. Listen for feelings Hurting persons need To be heard To be understood Allow for differences — not everyone will recover at the same pace Identify the lessons learned Implement steps to prevent future situations.

Shame vs Grace Out Loud shaming ”Something is wrong with you” Understanding and if necessary correction is offered with discretion Acceptance earned on performance–law based valued People are affirmed because they are Children of God--grace is valued Unclear rules Rules are clearly defined Communication unclear request. People state clearly their needs and requests What we value and our Identity is solely determined by what others think God is the source of our value and identity. We live according to his standard. Focus on fault and blame finding the person responsible. Wrongs are done - focus is on understanding why, and resolving problem, not the person. Church members become skilled at making excuses for bad behavior of others Focus is on accountability, personal responsibility and what can we learn from this experience. Church does not discuss feelings, don’t trust others and don’t speak about painful events. Churches value their feelings, willing to process their pain, follow God’s word and trust others Shame vs Grace

What Recovery Looks Like For The Church Eph 4:1-6 UNITY Eph 4:6-7 Accepts Diversity Eph 4: 11-14 Develops Leaders/ Ministry Eph 4:15-16 Influence the community Rev 2: 4-5

Understanding is the Key OUR CHOICE Judging Others Valuing Others Creates Isolation Creates Unity Leads to Dysfunctional Relationships Leads to Healthy Shame Grace Chess and Checkers Chess all pieces are valued and have potential 1. We all face a choice to value each other’s strengths or judge each other’s strengths. 2. When we judge each other’s strengths, the following tends to happen: 1) We assert our own independence which says “I need ME!” 2) We determine that another’s strength is really a weakness and lacks value to the team or relationship. 3) We create physical and emotional isolation. (Isolation is the tool of the enemy!) 4) The result is despair, dysfunctional relationships, alienation of others and moving away from the good. 3. When we value each other’s strengths, the following tends to happen: 1) We realize our need for interdependence, which says “I need God and you!” 2) We realize that each other’s strengths contribute to the team and help pursue common outcomes. 3) We promote unity with one another. 4) We have healthy relationships that leads to hope, peaceful conflict resolution and accomplishes Kingdom good.

Challenge to Forgive Response: What should I do to forgive? Focus on God’s forgiveness of your sins (Lk 7:40-50). In an appropriate setting, admit anger. Bringing it into the light weakens the Enemy’s hold (John 8:32). Determine to forgive, even if you do not feel like it. Ask God for the heart of Jesus (Lk.23:34) and Stephen (Acts 7:60) Ask God to give you His comprehensive peace (Phil 4:7). Pray for the person (Mt 5:44) Evaluation: Do I need to forgive? Do I dwell on the pain? Do I avoid dealing with the issues? Do I want the offender to hurt before I forgive? Do I have physical symptoms (eg.,stomach distress, headaches,, when I think about the pain?). Can I rejoice if someone blesses the one who hurt me?

Think differently than the world thinks Imitate God’s choices Act in keeping with Faith Proclaim and teach the word. Proclaim God’s peace in the midst of spiritual battles Live truth with honesty and integrity.

The 59 “One Another's” of the New Testament Hand out

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