Male & Female Etiquette Module 3 – Circle 2

Are men and women allowed to mix? Our deen has been given to us with guidelines in order to help us control our desires, and puts measures in place to prevent us from committing sins – Allah swt is our creator, and knows what is best for us. It is impossible to completely prevent males and females mixing, and Islam is the middle path which promotes prevention of excessive free mixing. In Islam, prevention is better than cure. Module 3– Circle 2

Should men and women be completely segregated? Islam is the middle path. At the time of the Prophet pbuh, complete segregation did not exist. It is a well known fact that at the time of the Prophet pbuh, the men prayed directly behind the Prophet pbuh, then the boys, then the women prayed directly behind the last row of the boys. Module 3 – Circle 2

Reducing Mixing Once the Prophet pbuh saw men and women mixing together on the road upon their departure from the mosque. He said to the women: "Hold back a bit. You do not have to walk in the middle of the road. You may keep to the sides." The narrator of the hadith commented that after that time, women would come so close to the buildings that their dresses would sometime cling to the walls." [Sunan Abi Dawud with a sound chain of transmission] Umm Salamah said: "When the Prophet (peace be upon him) completed the prayer, the women would get up to leave. He would then wait awhile before standing." Ibn Shahab said: "I believe that he waited for a while to give the women an opportunity to depart before the men." [Sahih al-Bukhari] Module 3 – Circle 2

What are the fundamental goals of Islam? The fundamental goals of Islam are: Preservation of the Deen, Preservation of life. Preservation of wealth. Preservation of mind. Preservation of the lineage. Preservation of honour. Reducing mixing aims to preserve lineage and honour. Module 3 – Circle 2

Do the rules apply to all women/men interactions? There are clear outlines in Islam for whom these rules apply. These rules are not the same for close relatives of females, which are known as “Mahram”. The rules apply to Non-Mahram, who are generally people to whom a female could theoretically marry. Module 3 – Circle 2

Which people are classed as Mahram? Surah Nur (24:31) defines most of the people are classed as Mahram to a woman. Scholars agree that these people include: Her husband, her father, including maternal and paternal grandfathers, her husband's father (he is also like her own father), her son, including grandsons from her son's side or her daughter's side, her husband's son by another woman, provided that he is staying with her, and she is looking after him as her son, her brother, whether full, or step, her brother's son, her sister's son, her female servants, men who have no sexual desire (e.g. eunuchs), children who have not yet reached the age of puberty, her uncle, whether paternal or maternal. Module 3 – Circle 2

Which people are classed as Non-Mahram? Anybody who does not have the relationship to a female which is mentioned in the list above can be classed as a Non-Mahram. Interaction between females and Non-Mahram individuals should be controlled where possible. Module 3 – Circle 2

Do the rules apply to Brothers/Sisters In-Law?   The Prophet pbuh said: "Beware that you do not call on women who are alone,". One of the Companions asked, "O Messenger of Allah, what about the younger or the elder brother of the husband?" The Prophet [pbuh] replied, "He is death." [Tirmidhi, Bukhari, Muslim] This hadith emphasizes the importance of being wary of in-laws since they are likely to have more opportunities to be alone with the woman and to see her as others do not get the opportunity to see her. Module 3 – Circle 2

Do the rules apply to children?   Narrated Ali ibn AbuTalib: The Prophet pbuh said: There are three (persons) whose actions are not recorded: a sleeper till he awakes, a boy till he reaches puberty, and a person who is mad, until he comes to reason (Sunan Abu Dawud). Module 3 – Circle 2

Can Women go to Mosques? The Prophet (pbuh) said "Do not prevent the female servants of Allah from going to the mosque." And husbands were specifically told by him: "When your womenfolk ask you for permission to attend the mosque, do not prevent them." The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: "The best of rows in prayer for the man is the first row and the worst for him is the last, and the best of rows for the women is the last row and the worst for her is the first." [Sahih Muslim]. Module 3 – Circle 2

Being in a mixed environment When scholars warn against the free mixing of men and women, they are not talking about the mere presence of men and women together in the same place. This is something that is definitely not prohibited by Islamic Law. Muslims must try to avoid any repeated acquaintance between men and women. Repeated meetings break down the barriers between men and women and can allow a relationship to develop between them, which can lead to sin. Module 3 – Circle 2

Lowering the gaze "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them." and says: "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty." [Surah al-Nur: 30-31]. Module 3 – Circle 2

Is it permissible to be alone with a woman? The Prophet pbuh forbade men and women from being alone together. He said: "Never is a man alone with a woman except that Satan is the third party with them."[Ahmad] The Prophet pbuh also said: "No man should enter into the presence of a woman after this day unless he is accompanied by one or two other men." [Sahih Muslim] Module 3 – Circle 2

How should one talk to a member of the opposite sex?   The Qur'an clearly forbids women from being soft of speech while talking to men. Allah says: "Be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire: but speak with a speech (that is) proper." [Surah al-Ahzab: 32]. Module 3 – Circle 2

Attracting the opposite sex The Prophet pbuh said: "Any woman who puts on perfume then goes and passes by some men to let them find her scent is a type of adulteress." [Ahmad, Tirmidhi] Module 3 – Circle 2

Facebook, Texting and Calling members of the opposite sex Allah swt says: “be not soft in speech, lest those in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire” (al ahzab:32) Remember, casually texting, emailing and phoning a member of the opposite sex is usually done when people are both alone, and therefore Shaytan can use this as an opportunity to tempt you to fall into sin. Module 3 – Circle 2