Coaching Mastery Inviting Excellence Janaki Severy Managing Dynamics 206-478-7173 Janakis@msn.com 1

Agenda: Masterful Coaching About coaching What do coaches do? What is a masterful coach? Qualities of excellent coaches Your frame of reference Separate vs connected Discovering unwritten rules Critical mistakes in coaching Coaching for awareness

About Coaching The Oxford Dictionary: The verb coach means: to “tutor, train, give hints to, prime with facts, to inquire”. Coaching is: About the ”way these things are done” as much as about what is being done. Coaching unlocks a person’s potential to maximize their own performance. Coaching assists rather than teaches 2

What do Coaches do? Focus on future possibilities, not past mistakes Deliver excellent results: use supportive relationship with those they coach Elicit facts from those they coach, stimulated by the coach Demonstrate unusual awareness through focused attention Believes the person being coached wants to be self-responsible Believes coaching provides stimulus for self-responsible behavior 3

Being a Successful Coach... Requires practice/commitment in areas of inquiry and trust. Requires/causes a fundamental change in the way the coach sees themselves and others. Requires a perspective seeing all people as having potential and the ability to change Must be done with AWARENESS and RESPONSIBILITY

Coaching Benefits High Productivity Self-Reliant Staff Quality of Life in Work Place Manager Gains Time Less Stress All Around Customer Service Improves 5

What is a Masterful Coach? …engages/enters into the system or world of a person, to positively impact performance …values/respects the intention of those they support and honestly seeks to understand the underlying good will and positive intended outcome ...believes that those they support have the necessary ability to discover and implement change in their behavior. 6

Masterful Coaches… Assist coachee to reshape their way of being, thinking, acting as needed Challenge and support coachee to achieve higher levels of performance Encourage coachee to bring out the best in themselves and others Teach deep learning processes to assist coachee to learn new skills Demonstrate passion Encourage desire from coachee to learn and grow Show clarity of mind and heart and a touch of intuitive ‘crazy wisdom’ 7

Qualities of an Excellent Coach Patient Detached Supportive Interested Attentive Whole person listener Keep their challenges separate from coachee Asks masterful questions Good listener Perceptive Aware Self-aware Insightful Intuitive Credible Knowledgeable Ethical and trustworthy 8

Teach the Circle of Knowing What you know What you don’t know What you don’t know you don’t know BE CURIOUS 9

The First Coaching Meeting Explain coaching concept, goals and process Establish levels of confidentiality Set guidelines for the meeting After guidelines are set, identify a follow-up process Consider using a coaching template Create an environment where they feel safe to share Create agreement on the frequency and length of sessions Learn their desired outcome Using nonjudgmental, curiosity-based questions further define the outcome 10

Use Feeling Words/Phrases How was that for you? What happened next? Tell me more… Is there something concerning you? Are you feeling a lot of concern about that? You seem upset...what’s happening? Does thinking about it that way help you? 11 16

Use Minimal Encouragers Go on Yes Tell me more Really? Oh? And? For example... Umm... I see I hear you Right I understand Then? Interesting 12 17

Coaching for Stretch, Motivation, and Learning What is your goal? If you were to achieve it, how would you feel? Learning How will you have to think differently, act differently, and be different to make it happen? Motivation Why is it important to achieve it? What is in it for you? 13

The Coach as Change Agent Skillful Intervention reframes thinking, redesigns/co-designs action plans New Skills and Capabilities Guiding Ideas learning and performance Results Techniques and Methods people can use themselves 14

Your Frame of Reference Demonstrate understanding of “their positive intention” Remain separate from the content, as a neutral listener Ask questions to assist them to organize their experience Ask questions to assist them to explore (reframe) new perspectives Ask questions using “their frame” of reference Guide “ the conversation” to assist in creating a beneficial direction Understand their perspective so they “feel heard” Validate their intention and remind them of their values and goals Ask them questions that create mindful insight 15

A Perception is a “ Frame” of Reference How the perception process creates “frames” of reference People make decisions and validate them with logic People interpret through perceptions useful to validate “their decisions” People remember what is useful to validate their decisions A person’s decision determines their perception selection A person’s decision determines their thought processes A person’s thoughts and perceptions can help them validate their decision The problem : Many have learned perceptions “Frames or maps of the world” which do not support them in the “world they want to create for themselves” now. 16

Two Fundamental Maps of the World 17

Reframing : Creating more Options Reframing is a critical skill for the coach and those being coached. The meaning of an event depends on the Frame” in which it was perceived. Know your “Frames” and separate yours from theirs Learn their “Frame”by entering their world (map) of feelings and personal meanings. Verify their “Frame” and help them generate different frames in order to broaden their options

Reframing Levels Internal Reframing: Reframe yourself to generate more options and remain curious rather than” think you know”. External Reframing: Create questions to elicit new potential “Frames” for the other person, which can open their map (world) to more options. External Reframing: Help them explore those options and help them create ways to select the best options to meet their goals.

Steps in Reframing Assist the person to deal with their feelings. Assist the person to deal with the other’s feelings. Then deal with the problem or concern, or objection.

Discovering Unwritten Rules Learn the unwritten rules around those you are coaching. Learn what they think and feel about the rules. Learn what/who motivated the rules. Learn what resources are affected by the rules. Learn triggers/conditions that cause the unwritten rules. Learn how unwritten rules can affect the behavior of the person being coached. Learn how unwritten rules can be used to assist the individual to reach their outcome. Learn if the unwritten can rules be changed. 18

Critical Mistakes in Coaching Misunderstood meanings Poor rapport Low quality information Presenting solutions instead of asking questions Not entering the world (map) of “the person being coached” Entering their world and “judging” them Being impatient with their progress Forgetting about their readiness and willingness to change 19

Reality Questions Reality questions uncover more than coachee hidden drives and motives because they often identify underlying cause. This kind of coaching is more demanding and rewarding than surface approaches. The request for an answer is essential to “invite the coachee to think”, to examine, to look, to feel, to be engaged. The questions need to demand “higher level focus” to obtain the results of high quality input. The reality answers sought should be “descriptive not judgmental”, to ensure honesty and accuracy. The answers must be of sufficient quality and frequency to provide the coach with a “feedback loop”. 20

Coaching for Awareness What do you want? ESTABLISH A GOAL What is really going on? DO A REALITY CHECK What else could you do? GENERATE OPTIONS What will you do? IDENTIFY ACTION STEPS 21

Questions for Self-Discovery Relationship/Work Questions for Self-Discovery Wants? Results? Unintended results? Actions, measures and causes? Insights/intuition Attitudes/perception/action Patterns/barriers Focus/engagement/acknowledgment 22

The Art of Belief To support others you must trust their judgment. To support others, you must be a master of inquiry, asking the right questions, rather than telling. To encourage others you must see the possibilities in them, especially when they can’t. To guide towards improvement, one must catch others demonstrating steps towards the improvements you seek. 22