How to Build Relationships for Results

Introductions Find an object in the room Capture its characteristics Well I’m really _____ because ... This has proven to be a great warm up exercise. Ask everyone to pick a physical object in the room, any object. Ask them to list 5 characteristics of that object. Now ask them to select one of those characteristics that most closely resembles a characteristic of themselves. Have them stand up and introduce themselves to several other attendees noting the object they selected and why that one characteristic applies to them. PURPOSE: Getting comfortable sharing a piece of information about ourselves that would not come to the surface in normal conversation.

Influencing Questionnaire Read Instructions – Page 9 Complete Part 1 – Pages 9 & 10 Read Instructions – Page 10 Complete Part 2 – Pages 10 - 13 This has proven to be a great warm up exercise. Ask everyone to pick a physical object in the room, any object. Ask them to list 5 characteristics of that object. Now ask them to select one of those characteristics that most closely resembles a characteristic of themselves. Have them stand up and introduce themselves to several other attendees noting the object they selected and why that one characteristic applies to them. PURPOSE: Getting comfortable sharing a piece of information about ourselves that would not come to the surface in normal conversation.

Influencing – Your Big Deliverable Making a presentation / recommending a strategy Problem solving / decision-making Reviewing progress Lobbying a decision maker Causing need for your products and services Coaching / mentoring Responding to a memo or email

Influencing Others to: Make a decision Change an option Modify a behavior

Star Performers at Bell Labs Harvard Study Top engineers & scientists Some stood out Cognitive & social, standard test – IQ etc. no differences Developed core competencies in interpersonal skills

Five Major Influencing Competencies Interpersonal Awareness Critical Information Seeking Concern for Impact Rational Persuasion Strategic Influencing

Definition of Influencing Influencing is an interactive process which enables us to build relationships with people to bring about a change of ideas, actions and behaviors without using force or authority.

Essential Influencing Skills

Essential Influencing Skills

Essential Influencing Skills

Essential Influencing Skills

Essential Influencing Skills

Eight Things to Remember About Your Behavior Behavior is everything you say and do Behaviors are learned – many are habitual People observe ALL your behavior ALL the time Conclusions are based on your behavior Behavior breeds behavior You can CHOOSE your behavior Your behavior will help or hinder Verbal and non-verbal behavior must compliment one another

Skill Set 1 - Wavelength Consciously using body language

How a message is delivered _____% Body language _____% Vocal tone _____% Words

How a message is delivered 55 % Body language 38 % Vocal tone 7 % Words

Reading Body Language

Reading Body Language

Reading Body Language

Reading Body Language

Reading Body Language

Reading Body Language

Reading Body Language

Reading Body Language

Reading Body Language

Reading Body Language

How To Win At Body Language Facial expression and head movement Gesturing with hands and arms Rest of body including legs

Skill Set 1 - Wavelength Consciously using body language Avoiding jargon Being open about your feelings Open-minded observing behaviors

Observing Verbal Behaviors PULLING Asking for ideas Developing/ Supporting other people’s ideas Asking questions PUSHING Giving ideas Disagreeing/ objecting Giving answers/ explanations idea generating behavior expanding behavior qualifying behavior

Skill Set 2 - Questioning Asking open-ended questions Asking one question at a time Making suggestions

Solve the Riddle There is a green house, Inside the green house there is a white house, Inside the white house there is a red house, Inside the red house there are lots of babies. What am I?

Solve the Riddle I never was, am only to be. No-one ever saw me, nor ever will. And yet, I am the confidence and hope of all who live and breathe on this terrestrial ball. Who am I?

Suggesting Ideas (Pulling) Telling Ideas (Pushing) Getting to Yes Likelihood of Agreement Likelihood of Objection Suggesting Ideas (Pulling) 42% 18% Telling Ideas (Pushing) 25% 39%

Three Key Strategies Convert a statement into a question Provide choice in your proposal Ask for impact as a course of action

Skill Set 3 - Understanding Listening without interruption a) hear b) understand c) interpret Paraphrasing

Understanding – Its Meaning A contract between two mates

Your Influencing Session Preparation 6 min. A influences B, observed by C 8 min. Feedback to A from C 5 min. B influences C, observed by A 8 min. Feedback to B from A 5 min. C influences A, observed by B 8 min. Feedback to C from B 5 min. Total Time 45 min.

Skill Set 4 – Conflict Handling Surfacing objections Searching for disagreement and resistance Constructively disagreeing

Skill Set 4 – Conflict Handling “If you argue and rankle and contradict you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get the other person’s good will.” - Ben Franklin

Skill Set 5 - Agreement Establishing needs and wants Using benefits Using one reason at a time

Skill Set 5 - Agreement It takes two to make an agreement Both parties must be committed to making it work

Learning in Groups/Teams One-to-One Learning Relationships The Learning Pyramid The Learning Organization Learning in Groups/Teams One-to-One Learning Relationships Individual Learners

Learning The Learning Process

A Loop in the Spiral 1. Experiencing 2. 4. Planning Reviewing/ Reflecting 4. Planning 3. Concluding

A Loop in the Spiral 1. Experiencing QUICK FIX 4. Planning

A Loop in the Spiral 1. Experiencing 3. Concluding Jumping to a Conclusion 3. Concluding

A Loop in the Spiral 2. Reviewing/ Reflecting 3. Concluding ANALYSIS to PARALYSIS

A Loop in the Spiral 1. Experiencing 2. 4. Planning Reviewing/ Reflecting 4. Planning 3. Concluding

Complete your Profile Turn to page 6 & mark your answers on Part 1 score sheet Turn to page 8 & mark your answers on Part 2 score sheet

The Influencing Action Plan

Complete your Profile Influencing is an interactive process which enables us to build relationships with people to bring about a change of ideas, actions and behaviors without using force or authority.