Inquiry Based Project Makayla Massie

What are the effects of divorce on a child psychologically and emotionally?

Psychological and Emotional Effects “It is said: ‘Children are always the losers in divorce.’ Unfortunately, parents do not think about the consequences of how they treat their soon to be ex-spouse and how they continue to malign them in front of their children who often feel loyalty to both parents. These children or adolescents are often manipulated by their parents for personal, social or financial reasons.” (Shaffran) The relationship between the divorced parents can have a huge impact on the child If the parents do not get along, the child feels stuck in the middle; there are two sides to every story but the child has to stay neutral—this can lead to children bottling in their feelings to keep peace between others If the parents do get along, it sets a good example for the child Depending on a child’s relationships with their parents prior to divorce, and which parent the child lives with/visitation, relationships, or lack of, after divorce are affected

Psychological and Emotional Effects (cont’d.) Stress can lead to anxiety, depression, substance abuse, delinquent behavior and teen pregnancy by the girls/boys getting girls pregnant “It has been noted by Clinicians and Therapists that the children caught in the middle of the parents’ animosity during separation or divorce proceedings have attention and concentration problems; academic problems; anger problems and sleep disorders.” (Shaffran) One major problem is that children blame themselves for their parents divorce Have feelings of guilt Can cause low self-esteem

Psychological and Emotional Effects (cont’d.) Just because divorce is becoming more common (almost 50%) doesn’t mean it is any less impactful “Because divorce catches adolescents (beginning ages 9 – 13) in the age of detachment and detachment parenting, common responses are often aggressive ones, pushing against and pulling away from parents to exercise more control and assert more autonomy.” (Pickhardt) Adolescents become more independent This independence and self-interest/self-management becomes even more intensified if a parent gets remarried and the child then has a step parent Visitation—no say; no time to see friends, can feel left out and cause resentment

How does divorce affect a child’s future relationships?

Effects on Future Relationships Statistically, children of divorce are more likely to get divorced Reluctance to commit because they’ve seen divorce firsthand and don’t want that to happen to them; trust issues Fear of abandonment because to some degree they felt deserted by their parents after divorce Disbelief in the permanence of love because they have seen proof otherwise Control for security to keep the other person close; manipulative Discomfort with conflict because it was dangerous conflict that ended the parental marriage Readiness to leave if the relationship gets tough because that is what their parents modeled for them, instead of working through their differences

Effects on Future Relationships (Cont’d.) Children of divorce can be more hesitant towards marriage; they have a negative attitude towards marriage and a positive attitude towards divorce Less likely to expect to marry, more likely to expect to divorce Enter a relationship knowing that divorce is an option They have long-term anxiety about whether or not they’ll have a happy marriage Worry that what happened to their parents will happen to them

Nursing Perspective Coming from a medical perspective, the focus would be on mental health and physical health Mental Health: Psychological & Emotional Effects slides For a basic check up, ask questions regarding the divorce and typical home life Personality change, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, feelings of guilt Report signs of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts to the physician If needed, the physician can refer the child to a psychologist, therapist, or counselor Physical Health: Report any signs of child abuse or self harm to the physician Remember that this is a case-by-case issue and no two children will react in the same way to a parental divorce

References Shaffran, M. The Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children. Michael Shaffran. Retrieved from http://www.sanluistherapy.com/blog/72-the-psychological-effects-of- divorce-on-children.html Pickhardt, C. (2015). How Parental Divorce Can Impact Adolescence Now and Later. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving- your-childs-adolescence/201511/how-parental-divorce-can-impact-adolescence- now-and