Parenting in 2016 Tips and Guidelines

Parenting is Imperfect Do as I say/ Not as I Do Professional advice/ not my own Only you know your children and circumstances Trust your judgment LISTEN Reflect and Try again Be mindful

LIFE SKILLS DISCIPLINE SCREEN TIME PRESENTATION LIFE SKILLS DISCIPLINE SCREEN TIME

Dependable/ Reliability Leadership Self Motivated / Initiative Career Builder national survey of 2200 employers rated these “soft skills as critical to employment: Strong Work Ethic Dependable/ Reliability Leadership Self Motivated / Initiative Team oriented Career Builder 2014 Organized/ Set Priorities Works well under pressure Effective communicator Flexibility Problem Solving

Top Value Parents want for their children- Pew 2014- Study of 3000 parents Responsibility- regardless of race/ age/ politics- 93% ranked this as first We want kids who can be relied on and who work hard Religious faith was stronger among conservatives Empathy for others- more liberal Curiosity Well mannered Independent Obedient

“Raising Good Kids”- Harvard 6/2015 study So many choices!

“Raising a caring, respectful, ethical child is and always has been hard work. But it’s something all of us can do, And no work is more important or ultimately more rewarding” HARVARD PARENTING STUDY 2015

If it Matters, Say it out Loud Show Your Child How to Work it Out Harvard 2015 Study Show them the Big Picture Hang with your kids If it Matters, Say it out Loud Show Your Child How to Work it Out Make a Helpfulness and Gratitude Routine Check your Child’s Destructive Emotions- Why? Show your Kids the Big Picture Raising Good Kids

RESPECTFUL BEHAVIORS LOOK PEOPLE IN THE EYE ACKNOWLEDGE PEOPLE SHAKE HANDS STAND UP DON’T INTERRUPT USE MANNERS THANK YOU/ PLEASE ADDRESS OTHERS WITH RESPECT

RESPECTFUL BEHAVIORS NO AND STOP- MEAN IT!!! DON’T EMBARRASS OTHERS EVEN IF THEIR WRONG HELP OTHERS REMEMBER THE GOLDEN RULE

“We need to elevate speaking to the same level as reading and writing” Communication skills “We need to elevate speaking to the same level as reading and writing” Founder of Well Being- a social learning curriculum- 10/2016

DISCIPLINE

DISCIPLINE NEGOTIATING- WATCH THE BARGAINING NO MORE MENUS AT MEAL TIME TEAM CLEANING NO MORE UNDERNMING TEACHERS AND COACHES BOSSES/ CO WORKERS/ YOUR 10 YEAR OLD MIGHT BE WRONG BUS INCIDENT NO MORE COVERING FOR THEM FORGOT THEIR HOMEWORK/ SPORTS EQUIPMENT/ LUNCH BE CONSISTENT DISCIPLINE

JOURNAL OF EXPERIMENTAL PSYCHOLOGY “LETTING CHILDREN ALWAYS WIN GAMES AND COMPETITIONS MAY GIVE THEM A FALSE SENSE OF CONFIDENCE AND OFTEN INTERFERES WITH DEVELOPING PROBLEM SOLVING STRATEGIES.” JOURNAL OF EXPERIMENTAL PSYCHOLOGY

DAYDREAMING/ UNPLUG!!!

Family Media Plan Children are spending an average of 7 hours a day on entertainment media including Television, computers, phones and other electronic devices Need to balance media use with other healthy behaviors Average tween sends over 130 text per day AAP/ 2016

DAYDREAMING FIVE TIMES MORE INFORMATION COMES AT AN INDIVIDUAL TODAY THAN IT DID IN 1986 HOW DO CHILDREN SHIFT THROUGH THIS OVERWHELMING STIMULI? SCHOOLS AND PARENTS HAVE A NEW JOB/ TEACHIIG CHILDREN THE LEGITIMACY OF MESSAGES/ WEBSITES/ EXTERNALIZE THE PROCESS- GOOD OLD NOTE CARDS HAVE DAYDREAMERS AD ORGANIZERS WORK TOGETHER LIKE IN SILICON VALLEY AT GOOGLE!

DAYDREAMING MULTITASKING DOES NOT EXIST- NOT AS PRODUCTIVE AS WE THINK BRAIN ONLY WORKS IN SEQUENTIAL ORDER SO IT WILL KEEP BREAKING DOWN AND RECEIVING INFORMATION AND WILL HAVE TO CONTINUALLY BREAK IT DOWN …Daniel Levitin, McGill University MULTITASKING IS STRESSFUL ON THE BODY THE BRAIN USES OXYGENATED GLUCOSE FASTER AND RELEASES THE STRESS HORMONE CORTISOL/ ANXIETY ONE TASK AT A TIME LEADS TO MORE EFICIENCY/ SET PRIORITIES TAKE BREAKS- THOSE WHO DO ARE MORE PRODUCTIVE GIVES THE BRAIN WILL CONSOLIDATE AND PROCESS CHILDREN NEED SOME SPONTANEITY AND DOWN TIME

American Academy of Pediatrics 10/2016 Media is just another environment Parenting has not changed Role model We learn from each other Set limits Its ok for teens to be online Content matters 80,000 apps- Commonsensemedia.org- to review age appropriate apps/ games Co-engagement counts Playtime critical Create tech free zones Kids will be kids- expect mistakes

Healthychildren.org- sets limits – family media use plan American Academy of Pediatrics Guidelines for Screen time- 10/2016 _________________________________________ Avoid for less than 18 months 18-24 months introduce high quality programming like Sesame Street/ watch it with them 2-5 years old- limit to one hour of high quality programs and co view (speech vs passive communication) School age- balance all other interactive parts of school life Healthychildren.org- sets limits – family media use plan Devices at the table! Difference between passive and interactive