Spirituality and the 12 Steps Permanent Diaconate Formation Program Theology of Pastoral Care Deacon William F. Urbine D.Min., LMFT

Objectives of Presentation This presentation …will highlight the role of the twelve steps in the development of a spirituality for the recovering person & its impact on the family. Counselors, persons in ministry and others will explore how to develop a deeper and more effective awareness of “recovery” spirituality in clients, parishioners and themselves.

Objectives of Presentation-cont. Key elements of the recovery spirituality process will be highlighted through becoming more familiar with the twelve steps. Differences highlighted between spirituality and religion, pastoral care and therapy, & sponsorship and spiritual direction.

How do you fit an elephant into a ……..refrigerator?

Pink elephant syndrome (PES)

Twelve Steps

Twelve Steps

Fellowships listed below follow reasonably close variations of the Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Twelve-Step_groups. *your presenter is the charter member and founder AA ACA Al-Anon Alateen CA CAA CLA CMA Co-Anon CECA CHA CoDA COSA COSLAA DA EA EHA FA FAA FFA FFLA GA Gam-Anon Gam-A-Teen HA HA* HHA MA NA NAIL Nar-Anon NicA OA OLGA PA SASA SAA SCA SIA SLAA UA VA WA

Disease….. …With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over other people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own. Found at: http://naranon.com/

Addiction …is a pathological love & trust relationship with an object or event. Craig Nakken The Addictive Personality

Addictions Obvious Hidden

Common Elements in Recovery Read literature Big Book/12&12 Fellowship Counseling (?) Family & individual issue Working steps Amends Prayer Ongoing relapse prevention Acknowledge problem Intervention - ?? Powerlessness Prayer Accept need for sobriety Rehab/IOTA/etc. Attend meetings-90/90 Get sponsor Service commitment

…polar opposite of spirituality Addiction …polar opposite of spirituality Addiction -alienation, darkness, illusion, control, self centeredness, & disease leading to death Spirituality -grace, light, truth, care, concern for others, & wholeness leading to life

Spirituality “What is spirituality?” the writer asks. … -a gift, freely given which we can nurture with care or squander through neglect… Beyond the Influence – Understanding and Defeating Alcoholism (Ketchum & Asbury. P. 205)

Spirituality not equal religion

Goals Differing Therapy Movement toward happiness Spirituality Be ing Good

Similar yet very different Therapy -offers explanations Spirituality offers forgiveness

Spiritual Direction Spiritual direction is a time-honored term for a conversation, ordinarily between two persons, in which one person consults another, more spiritually experienced person about the ways in which God may be touching her or his life, directly or indirectly. found at: http://www.sdiworld.org/index.pl/what_is_spiritual_direction2.html.

sponsorship

Sponsorship not = to spiritual direction Similar—companioning on the journey Goals different SP: Maintain sobriety, foster spiritual growth SD: Provide spiritual guidance and direction, connect people to their core beliefs, spirituality

A Gentle Path "You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working, and just so, you learn to love by loving. All those who think to learn in any other way deceive themselves." St. Francis de Sales

Gratitude List

Progress Not perfrection A sponsor’s emphasis Progress Not perfrection

Sponsor’s Prayer Lord, take me where You want me to go; Let me meet who You want me to meet; Tell me what You want me to say, & Keep me out of Your way Father Mychal's Prayer (9/11)

Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity Living one day at a time, to accept the things I cannot change... courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will. So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen. Attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr

How It Works Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. … Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided that you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps….

Telling the Story Experience Strength Hope

The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous Step One - We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable. Step Two - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Step Three - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Step Four - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Step Five - Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Step Six - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Step Seven - Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. Step Eight - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Step Nine - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them others. Step Ten - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Step Eleven - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Step Twelve - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. The Twelve Steps are quoted from page 59 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous Fourth Edition, copyright 1939, 1955, 1976, 2001 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Steps 1-3 Step One - We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable. Step Two - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Step Three - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

1,2,3 – Here we go Came …Came to …Came to believe

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. Thomas Merton Abandonment

T. S. Eliot --East Coker Four Quartets … In order to arrive at what you do not know you must go by a way which is the way of ignorance. …and where you are is where you are not. T. S. Eliot --East Coker Four Quartets

Third Step Prayer God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me & to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy love & Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always!

Steps 4-6 Step Four - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Step Five - Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Step Six - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Inventory time Fearless moral inventory—using format of Big Book. (Twelve &Twelve a collection of essays) Seven deadly sins Pride greed lust anger gluttony envy & sloth

Steps 7-9 Step Seven - Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. Step Eight - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Step Nine - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Seventh Step Prayer My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good & bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you & my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here to do Your bidding.

Amends a required process

Steps 10-12 Step Ten - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Step Eleven - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Step Twelve - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Jesus & the 12 steps- powerlessness We suffer to get well. We surrender to win. We die to live. We give it away to keep it. Fr. Richard Rohr

Step Ten Spot check inventory Daily inventory Regular time out retreats, days of prayer

1. Become aware of God’s presence. 2. Review the day with gratitude. 3. Pay attention to your emotions. 4. Choose one feature of the day and pray from it. 5. Look toward tomorrow. A version of the five-step Daily Examen of St. Ignatius Found at: http://www.ignatianspirituality.com/ignatian-prayer/the-examen/.

Step 11 A Primer on Prayer and Meditation A retreat in itself Step Eleven -

Prayer of St. Francis Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy. O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

Fr. Richard Rohr suggests--- via negativa Breathing Under Water, p. 22

Twelfth Step

12 step spirituality a way of life—in the ordinary

Pastoral Care - 6 A’s Admit person’s powerlessness over addiction/s Assess for multiple addictions Affirm addict/family – in strength/weakness Accept goodness of person in addiction/s Acknowledge & externalize the problem Accept Higher Power (HP) of person at start

Twelve Step Spirituality In the classic Christian and world religion traditions Is thoroughly grounded in the Gospel message Open and expansive; not closed and restrictive Demanding and challenging In tune with our religious beliefs Recognizes the important roles of ritual and community

AMEN Suggested Resources Meetings – open/closed Winter term course Gratitude