Essay Writing Review

Introductory Paragraph Requirements: Provide some background knowledge about the topic based on your reading. Last sentence must be the claim/controlling idea that states the answer to the writing prompt. Does not list reasons to support the claim/controlling idea.

Sample Intro Paragraphs. Many children experience bullying in school in the form of verbal taunting. But unfortunately, it often doesn’t end there because bullies are using technology to torment their victims. Regardless of technique, bullies should be prosecuted.

Body Paragraph 1 Needs to open with a topic sentence that presents the first point to support the claim being presented. This point needs to be broader so more textual evidence can fit into it and make it easier for one to write. Should not open with textual evidence. Needs two pieces of textual evidence from different sources to support the point. Elaboration needs to make clear how the textual evidence supports your claim. Last sentence of this first body paragraph needs to wrap up this first point and introduce point 2. Be sure to use a transition word to start the sentence.

Body 1 Example: To begin with, bullies should be prosecuted because they cause students to feel tormented during school which stops the learning of students. According to source 1, paragraph 9, the author states, “Being bullied in school distracts students the most than any other social problem.” This is evidence that students are stopping their learning at school because they are thinking about who is picking on them rather than the lesson taught in class. Imagine if bullies were stopped, students would be able to focus and continue learning. Furthermore, source 2, paragraph 11 states, “Students emotional state is compromised throughout the entire day because they focus on what the bully will do to them next.” This illustrates that yet again, bullies should be stopped because students are not able to think of anything else except bullies while they are in class. They continue to focus on what will happen to them next in this continuous realm of torture. At the same time, bullies should be prosecuted because they not only make it difficult for students to learn, but a teenage bully often becomes an adult criminal.

Example of points/topic sentence ideas Narrow and too specific Broader and can bring out more textual evidence Ignored iceberg warnings. Was going too fast. Wanted more room on the ship. Did not take enough lifeboats. Ignorant Arrogant Egotistical Manipulative Careless Selfish

Body 2 Introduces the second point that supports the claim. Needs to have at least two pieces of textual evidence cited correctly. (Source and paragraph number) Make sure that the elaboration follows connects the textual evidence to your claim.

Body 2 Example: Students who are often bullies in school grow up to be adult criminals. According to source 2, paragraph 10, the author mentions, “ At a young age, students begin to formulate habits that reflect who they will grow up to be.” What this demonstrates is that we start to create who we will become at an early age. Making poor decisions, such as bullying others, will only lead to a path that continues into adulthood. To add, source 1, paragraph 5, states, “Studies have shown time and time again that 8/10 students who were bullies in school grow up to have a criminal record.”This shows that again, bullies more often than not do grow up to be criminals. If we stop bullies now and try to teach them more acceptable behavior, we would see this number of bullies decrease in schools along with criminals.

Conclusion This paragraph needs to wrap up your entire essay. Summarize your points and claim for the reader one last time. Start with a transitional word that concludes your essay. Make sure your claim is stated in different wording. The points that support the claim are also pointed out one last time for the reader. Can include a lesson learned from the information you presented.

Conclusion Example To summarize, bullying in school comes in many forms. Whether it is through the internet or face-to-face interactions, bullies should be prosecuted. Bullying makes no one feel safe at school and hinders learning for those students being bullied. Not to mention, being a bully at a young age can often lead to a life of crime as an adult. By putting a stop to bullying, we can put an end to the hardships of young children and adults.

Revising and editing. Go back and check to see if sources were cited appropriately. Check for a variation in transitions in your essay. You don’t want to have an over use of one such as, “also” and “so”. Re-read your essay and look for spelling errors or grammatical errors.