Interpersonal Communication In a quantitative sense, communication (usually face-to-face) between two individuals. In a qualitative sense, communication in which the parties consider one another as unique individuals rather than objects. It is characterized by minimal use of stereotyped labels; unique, idiosyncratic rules; and a high degree of information exchange.

Interpersonal Communication “… much of the social activity of individuals can be described as “search behavior—a relentless process of social discovery in which one seeks out new friends to replace those who are either no longer present or who no longer share the same interests.”

Why We Communicate Why do you communicate? Physical Needs Identity 3. Social Needs 4. Practical Goals 5. Career Goals

Why We Communicate Maslow’s Hierarch of Needs 1. Physical Needs 2. Safety Needs 3. Social Needs 4. Self-esteem Needs 5. Self-actualization

Implicit Personal Theories of Communication our unconscious, taken-for-granted assumptions about communication our constructed theories about social reality What is your social reality?

Implicit Personal Theories of Communication Our implicate theories tell us with whom we should communicate …when we should communicate …what we should communicate. …how we should communicate …how we should present ourselves. …what effective communication is …how to interpret other people’s behaviors

Implicit Personal Theories of Communication Implicate Personal Theories of Communication are base on: culture ethic background gender social class region of the country religion What else?

Implicit Personal Theories of Communication Scenario—You are at a social gathering and see a person to whom you are physically attracted. Would you approach this person? If so, how would you communicate in order to make arrangements to meet him or her again?

Implicit Personal Theories of Communication Scenario—You are in the student center, and an international student approaches you. You have not met this student before and have never visited her or his native culture. The international student tells you that he or she needs your help to complete a class assignment. The assignment is to get to know an American. How would you respond to the student?

The 5-Axioms of Communication Cannot, not communicate Communication has context and relationship communication occurs in punctuated sequences Relations are symmetric or complementary

The 5-Axioms of Communication Communication is analog and digital

Process of Communication Source Receiver Message Channel Feedback Encoding Decoding Nonverbal Fidelity Mechanical (External) Noise Semantic (Internal) Noise

Source Source Idea Response -- Noise -- -- Noise -- Receiver (Listener) Message Medium Communication Environment

Three Distinct Views of Communication Action (linear view) Interaction Transaction

6 Dimensions of the Human World Space Time Laws of Physics Culture Relationships Work A possible 7th dimension is… Religion

Communication Conclusions 1. Communication can be intentional or unintentional 2. It’s impossible not to communicate 3. Communication is irreversible 4. Communication is unrepeatable

Communication Misconceptions 1. Meanings are not in words 2. More is not always better 3. No single person or event causes another’s reaction 4. Communication will not solve all problems

Communication Misconceptions 5. Successful communication doesn’t always involve shared understanding

Competence Communication Competence— The ability to accomplish one’s personal goals in a manner that maintains a relationship on terms that are acceptable to all parties.

Competence There is no Ideal way to communicate Competence is SITUATIONAL Competence is relational Competence can be learned

Competent Characteristics Communicators can choose between a wide range of behaviors. Ability to choose the most appropriate behavior Skills at performing behaviors Commitment

Competent Characteristics Cognitive complexity Empathy Self-monitoring

Small Talk Do not talk about: year in school, major, courses that you are taking or have taken this class, this assignment, marital status, gender, age, brothers, sisters, parents hometown, other schools that you have attended job (current or past) weather, college activities, cafeteria food church, chapel

5 Central Points to Interpersonal Communication No one person can completely control a communication event Your culture, and your interpersonal partner’s culture affect what we say about communication Identity issues are always in play

5 Central Points to Interpersonal Communication The most ordinary communication events are the most significant. When facing communication challenges or problems the most helpful question you can ask yourself is, “What can I help to happen next?”

Qualities of Communication Impersonal--------Interpersonal Interchangeable------Unique Measurable---------Unmeasurable

Qualities of Communication React only ------Able to choose Unreflective------Reflective Not addressable-----Addressable

Flexibility Stage 1: Expressive Communication Stage 2: Rule-governed Communication Stage 3: Negotiating

Self-concept Self-Image Self-Esteem Self-Concept Role Role Expectation Performance Role Personality Role Self-Disclosure

Questions to Ask Yourself Who am I? How do I feel about myself? Do I like (or dislike) parts of my personality or physical appearance?

Questions to Ask Yourself Am I comfortable with myself? How can I improve my communication both with myself and with others?

Self-concept Development The Looking Glass Self We learn who we are through others

Characteristics of the Self-concept Subjective It isn’t necessary correct

Reasons for Distorted Self-evaluations Obsolete Information Distorted Feedback Emphasis on Perfection Social Expectations

Self-fulfilling Prophecy Two types of self-fulfilling prophecies 1. Self Imposed 2. Imposed by Others

Changing Your Self-concept 1. Have a realistic perception of yourself 2. Have realistic expectations

Changing Your Self-concept 3. Have the will to change 4. Have the skill to change

REVALUATING YOUR “CAN’TS” 1. Choose a partner and for 5-minutes take turns making and listing statements that begin with “I can’t…” Try to focus you statements on your relationships with family, friends, coworkers, students, and even strangers: anyone with whom you have a hard time communicating. 2. Notice your feelings as you make each statement: self-pity, regrets, concerns, frustration, and so on, and reveal these to your partner.

REEVAUATING YOUR “CAN’TS” 3. Now repeat aloud each statement you’ve just made, except this time change each “can’t” to a “won’t.” After each sentence, tell your partner whatever thoughts you have about what you’ve just said. 4. After you’ve finished decide whether “Can’t” or “Won’t” is more appropriate for each item, and explain your choice to your partner.

REEVAUATING YOUR “CAN’TS” 5. Are there any instances of the self-fulfilling prophecy in your list? -- how often was the decision that you”Can’t” do something the only force keeping you from doing it?

Identity Management Identity Management—The communication strategies that people use to influence how others view them.

Identity Management You have a public and a private self You have a presenting self—a public image

Characteristics of Identity Management Identity management is collaborative …can be deliberate or unconscious …varies by situation People differ in their degree of identity management.

Barriers to Understanding self 1. Confusion between the types of roles we play 2. Fear of risking letting others know what we are truly thinking and feeling--because they might not like us anymore

Barriers to Understanding self 3. Our unwillingness to change 4. Our practice of comparing ourselves with others 5. Problems with accepting ourselves as we are.

Barriers to Understanding self 6. False Modesty 7. Our failure to prescribe and follow plans which help us to change those things about ourselves that we can change and want to change.

Barriers to Understanding self 8. Society telling us who we should be.

Mediated Communication Definition Communication between individuals that is conducted via electronic channels.

Mediated Versus Face-to-Face Communication Similarities between mediated and face-to-face communication Same goals Similar process Similar principles

Mediated Versus Face-to-Face Communication Differences between mediated and face-to-face communication Leaner messages Variable synchronicity Permanent (sometimes public) record

Mediated Versus Face-to-Face Communication

Mediated Versus Face-to-Face Communication Consequences of mediated communication Disinhibition Hyperpersonal communication

Benefits and Drawbacks of Mediated Communication Benefits of mediated communication More relational opportunities Sustaining and enriching relationships Social support

Benefits and Drawbacks of Mediated Communication Superficial relationships Social isolation Relational deterioration Deception Stalking and harassment Cyberbullying

Competence in Social Media Fostering positive relationships Respect others’ need for undivided attention Keep your tone civil Don’t intrude on bystanders

Competence in Social Media Protecting yourself Think before you post Verify what you see online Balance mediated and face time