The Key to Communication Self Concept The Key to Communication

Our self-concept is shaped by those around us. The evaluations others make of us are the mirrors by which we know ourselves. “Significant others” have greater impact. Our self-concept is based on the influence of the various reference groups to which we are exposed. The importance of a characteristic is based on the significance we attach to it. We can change our attitudes and behaviors.

Self-Concept Is not Objective Self-estimation might be based on obsolete information People are reluctant to give up a familiar self-image. Self-Concept may be excessively favorable due to distorted feedback from others. An unrealistically high self-concept may have to do with the expectation of a society that demands too much of its members. Rather than label themselves failures, many people engage in self-deception.

Defense Mechanisms Defensiveness is likely to occur whenever it appears that another person’s view of us doesn’t match the image we want to present. There is usually an element of self- deception in such mask wearing.

Rationalization To rationalize is to think up a logical but untrue explanation that protects the unrealistic picture we hold of ourselves.

Compensation Rather than face a problem head on, compensators stress a strength in some other area of their personality, hoping that it will camouflage what they feel is their fault. Compensation keeps the problem covered so that it is never brought into the open, and consequently there is no possibility for a solution.

Reaction Formation People who use reaction formation avoid facing an unpleasant truth by acting exactly the opposite from the way they truly feel. “Life of the Party!”

Projection In projection you avoid an unpleasant part of yourself by disowning that part and attributing it to others. It doesn’t matter whether the accusation you make about others is true or not: the important point is that you are escaping from having to face the truth about yourself.

Identification When we are unsure or don’t like ourselves, we hide our feelings by imitating someone we admire. When we use the mechanism of identification our life becomes an act.

Fantasy When a person’s desires or ambitions are frustrated, he often resorts to a fantasy world to satisfy them. The danger of fantasizing is that it keeps us from dealing squarely with what’s bothering us by providing a temporary escape which doesn’t really solve the problem.

Repression We protect ourselves by denying the problem’s existence. We “forget” what would otherwise be painful. Problems cannot be solved without admitting that they exist.

Dependency or Regression Sometimes rather than admit we don’t want to do something, we convince ourselves that we CAN’T do it.

Emotional Insulation and Apathy Rather than face an unpleasant situation, people will avoid hurt by not getting involved or pretending they don’t care. They defend their feeling of self- worth by becoming apathetic.

Displacement This occurs when we vent aggressive or hostile feelings against people or objects that are seen as less dangerous than the person or persons who caused the feeling originally Almost always the image we’re trying to maintain is one of powerfulness.

Undoing In undoing we make up for an act that doesn’t fit with our ideal self-concept by offering a symbolic token of apology. Symbolic gestures that really do signal a change in behavior aren’t undoing. These gestures become defense mechanisms when we use them to fool ourselves into thinking we’ve turned over a new leaf when we really haven’t.

Verbal Aggression Sometimes the easiest way to avoid facing criticism is to drown it out: temper tantrums, hitting below the belt, bringing up past grievances etc.

A Healthy Self-Concept is Flexible People change. We change from situation to situation. We change over time. To keep a realistic picture of ourselves our self-concept must also change. Important ways we are changing: physically, intellectually, emotionally, socially, spiritually.

Self-Concept Resists Change It is an effort to think of one’s self in a new way. Trying to perpetrate an inaccurate self- concept is self-delusion and lack of growth. One can accept the new data and change accordingly, or keep the original viewpoint and in some way refute the new information.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Occurs when our expectation of an event makes the outcome more likely to occur than would otherwise have been true. Our expectations influence our behavior. Occurs when the expectations of one person governs another’s actions. We are what we believe we are.

Changing Your Self-Concept Some of our dissatisfaction may come from unrealistic expectations. It is important to judge ourselves in terms of our own growth and not against the behavior of others. Changing our self-concept requires a good deal of effort. There are cases where you would change if you knew of a way to do so. Seek advice. Learn to change by observing models. Change is possible. You don’t need to be perfect, but you can improve your self-concept.