Teaching Appropriate Boundaries: Helping to keep our students safe Jim Witmer, LICSW Social Worker, Deafblind Program Perkins School for the Blind January, 2007

Pre-Test What do we mean by “boundary”? Name two kinds of boundaries at Perkins. Why are boundaries important? Who is responsible for maintaining appropriate boundaries?

Because children (with disabilities) are vulnerable in many ways, it is easier for their boundaries to be violated. Why is that?

Why are children vulnerable? Children may feel powerless. Not all children are capable of assessing adults’ motives. Children are taught that goodness equates with obedience to adults. Children may not realize that they can say “no” to adults.

Why are children vulnerable? Children are curious about their own bodies and sexuality. Children may be deprived of basic information about their sexuality. Children may not realize what abusive behavior is or that it is wrong.

Why are children vulnerable? Children may also be at risk from peers and siblings. Children are often confused about sexual misbehavior. Children are seldom encouraged to express their anxieties and fears.

What adds to disabled children’s risk?

Children with disabilities may have restricted social environments can feel powerless may depend upon touch (e.g. being assisted with washing or being shown how to do a task) may not always be able to control the nature of physical touch

Children with disabilities may be socialized to accept being touched by anyone, especially someone called “staff” may not understand the concept of “stranger” may not be able to conceive of the fact that someone they know would harm them

Children with disabilities may not receive sex education are particularly disadvantaged by communication barriers are highly dependent on parents and caretakers, which may make the child reluctant to report any problems or abuse

Children with disabilities may live in a situation where compliant behavior is required Abuse by adults can exaggerate emotional problems that are related to a disability, but can also be hidden due to other existing problems

Modeling and teaching appropriate boundaries

How do we define “boundaries”?

Preserving and modeling healthy boundaries… Bear in mind the students’ need for modesty and a right to privacy Look for opportunities to teach them about these concepts When giving routine care, always let the student know before you touch him/her

Preserving and modeling healthy boundaries… Ask for permission from the student before touching and wait for his/her response Be aware that touch, especially in genital areas, can be stimulating Be aware of how you touch and of the student’s reaction

Preserving and modeling healthy boundaries… Always knock before entering a student’s bedroom Announce your presence and make sure the student knows who is there If it is not routinely your job, notify the Houseparent if you are going into a student’s bedroom or the bathroom with him/her

Preserving and modeling healthy boundaries… If visiting or working with a student in his/her room, pull up a chair. Do not sit on the bed! If you are working on something with the student that requires modesty, close the door. If not, the door should be open.

Let’s talk about… Hugs Sitting in laps Shoulder massages Providing physical comfort Kisses

Other kinds of boundaries…

Conversations on shift Remember that conversations on shift may be overheard by students, parents and visitors ‘Private’ conversations and phone calls should remain just that Do not discuss students in front of others

What else can we do to demonstrate and teach appropriate boundaries?

How does the residential environment contribute to breaking down of some boundaries?

Helping each other - Protecting students

Have a concern about boundaries? If you observe any staff-student interactions that concern you because boundaries appear to be breaking down, speak to the staff involved or to your supervisor

Where student safety is concerned, there is no such thing as a silly question or a concern that’s too trivial to be brought up. These issues occur every day and bear frequent discussion so we can all learn how to better teach and model for students.

Post-Test What do we mean by “boundary”? Name two kinds of boundaries at Perkins. Why are boundaries important? Who is responsible for maintaining appropriate boundaries?

Thank you for your attention. If you have any questions, please see your supervisor or talk with a social worker.