KEEP IT POSITIVE: FOSTERING HEALTHY AND SUPPORTIVE YOUTH RELATIONSHIPS Ben Trentelman – Jump Start - 2016

We’re Going to Cover Environmental and Social Influences on Youth Relationships Bias Developmental Assets Collective Impact Keeping it Positive! Why do the plan for improvement? We saw a number of programs stressing a little about the plan for improvement. There is no need! Just tell us what you want to do so we can help! You should want to create a plan for improvement because you want your program to be the best it can be, and when it feels like it is the best, make it better. There is always change, there is always need.

Negativity Overload: What are youth seeing in the world and how is it influencing their overall attitudes about life, the universe, and everything?

Break-It Down! It’s an Activity! Take out your phone and check your most frequently used social media account: In two minutes count the number of posts that are negative, make fun of someone, criticize someone in a negative way, or use phrases like “you’ve been doing it wrong your entire life!” Now

How many did you get? According to a study in 2015 by Common Sense Media, Children ages 8-12 spend an average of how many hours on social media: 6 Hours!!!! I counted 13 negative posts on my feed in two minutes, which over the course of 6 hours could total… 2,340 negative posts throughout the day! Your strategic plan is never truly complete. You can create a plan, but you can’t expect it to be concrete throughout the duration. You need to be flexible. Expect road blocks, and as you encounter them, evaluate, adapt, and continue.

Not to mention: Movies Friends Negativity Music Jokes Upbringing Television Bias Community Politics Family Culture News Assumptions Influences Bullying Stereotypes Opinions Your strategic plan is never truly complete. You can create a plan, but you can’t expect it to be concrete throughout the duration. You need to be flexible. Expect road blocks, and as you encounter them, evaluate, adapt, and continue.

How I Learned to Keep It Positive: This isn’t ground breaking, and I wasn’t in a program that was down and out. I had a great group of kids with amazing attitudes, but we still had our fare share of problems. One thing I noticed was that I had an incredibly bright group of kids that liked giving eachother a hard time. This worked well for some and not for others. Some kids weren’t in on the joke, some jokes were cruel, some demeaning, had underlying racist or sexist messages, or were just mean spirited. There is the saying that every joke has some truth behind it, and I saw many kids who were the subject of a joke shrug it off, when it was clear that they were more strongly impacted by it. They wouldn’t show up for program, would hang out with different kids, or would have an overall shift in body language. Something was up. That is when I found the following video:

Keeping it Positive 101: No hurtful or negative language No making fun of anyone for any reason Music, clothes, food, etc… If you don’t like something and feel the need to talk about it, use positive language to express how you really feel about something. Don’t say this song sucks or you hate it, say you aren’t into something and talk about why. Have a discussion about how something makes you feel We are accountable to each other in our positivity, we have to keep one another on track. When someone isn’t on board, simply say “Keep it positive” This isn’t ground breaking, and I wasn’t in a program that was down and out. I had a great group of kids with amazing attitudes, but we still had our fare share of problems. One thing I noticed was that I had an incredibly bright group of kids that liked giving eachother a hard time. This worked well for some and not for others. Some kids weren’t in on the joke, some jokes were cruel, some demeaning, had underlying racist or sexist messages, or were just mean spirited. There is the saying that every joke has some truth behind it, and I saw many kids who were the subject of a joke shrug it off, when it was clear that they were more strongly impacted by it. They wouldn’t show up for program, would hang out with different kids, or would have an overall shift in body language. Something was up. That is when I found the following video:

Then we all saw a change… The kids in the program immediately took this on and it spread like wildfire throughout the program. The kids were holding each other and the staff accountable, soon kids started talking about how the idea of keeping it positive was bleeding into their school day and home life. They were always looking for the good, or a respectful way to talk about the bad. New kids would come into the program and would quickly catch on, even if they were weirded out at first there was no reason to disagree. The staff and I all began to notice that this idea was also heavily impacting our own lives and how we communicated and addressed things. We had successfully created a caring and supportive environment in our program by repeating the same three words over and over: “Keep it positive.” What made the biggest difference was that we all meant it every single time.

So what was happening? We implored the youth in the program to help us create a better environment in which we were all mutually accountable to one another: We provided an environment to nurture: Ownership Accountability Respect Trust Youth Voice Coping mechanisms Common ground PS. We still encountered all kinds of issues with kids, we just had a great method to work through them.

What do youth need to succeed? Need for influence Competence Sense of Belonging -Dr. Ronald F. Ferguson, PHD Director of Achievement Gap, Harvard University

40 Developmental Assets: External Assets: Relationships & Opportunities that young people experience in their families, schools, and communities Support Empowerment Boundaries & Expectations Constructive Use of Time Assets are not built through programs, they are built through relationships! Used with permission as part of the Essential of Asset Building Training of Trainers workshop.

40 Developmental Assets: Internal Assets: Competencies and values that youth develop internally to guide behaviors and choices Commitment to Learning Positive Values Social Competencies Positive Identity Assets are not built through programs, they are built through relationships! Used with permission as part of the Essential of Asset Building Training of Trainers workshop.

40 Developmental Assets: Internal Assets: Competencies and values that youth develop internally to guide behaviors and choices Commitment to Learning Positive Values Social Competencies Positive Identity Assets are not built through programs, they are built through relationships! Used with permission as part of the Essential of Asset Building Training of Trainers workshop.

Principles of Asset Building All young people need assets Everyone can build assets Relationships are key Asset building is an ongoing process Consistent messages are crucial Repetition is important Consider and acknowledge your biases, give every youth opportunities to be engaged Used with permission as part of the Essential of Asset Building Training of Trainers workshop.

Strategies for Action Make It Possible Make it Simple Make the Most of Your Available Time Commit and Don’t forget Assets are not built through programs, they are built through relationships! Used with permission as part of the Essential of Asset Building Training of Trainers workshop.

Resources and Research Office of Diversity and Outreach: Unconscious Bias Radio West: Shankar Vedantam and the Hidden Brain American Institutes for Research, Beyond the Bell: Supporting Social & Emotional Development Through Quality Afterschool Programs AIR: Social & Emotional Learning Practices: A Self Reflection Tool for Afterschool Staff “To This Day”, Written by Shane Koyczan Video Link SEARCH Institute: The Developmental Relationship Framework SEARCH Institute: The 40 Developmental Assets National Afterschool Association The Afterschool Alliance The Utah Afterschool Network Assets are not built through programs, they are built through relationships! Used with permission as part of the Essential of Asset Building Training of Trainers workshop.

Contact Information Ben Trentelman bent@utahafterschool.org 801.359.2722 www.utahafterschool.org