Gaylynn Parker gaylynn.parker@nebo.edu Empowering Students as Writers Through the Use of Effective Elaboration My goal as a teacher is to empower students; I want my students to write well, to evaluate their own writing, and to be able to write and evaluate independently. I want my students to look at facts, to look at evidence, and interpret them correctly using a variety of elaboration techniques. Gaylynn Parker gaylynn.parker@nebo.edu

Do’s and Don’ts Don’t Simply Summarize Don’t Embellish (extraneous or unnecessary information to achieve effects such as length, exaggeration, or bias etc.) Elaborate: Interpret the Information—Show you Know Far too often, students look at the text set they are given, or articles they have researched, and simply summarize what they have read. Or, they only look at the prompt or the title of the text set or research and simply begin to write their own opinion, rather than relying on the facts. Often times, they say the same thing over again in a different way to add length to their essay, or they will exaggerate for effect. I want my students to show they know through correct interpretation of the facts using a variety of elaboration techniques.

Six Types of Elaboration http://slideplayer.com/slide/10057728/ Explanation Analysis Figurative Language Relationships Examples Implications How can they show what they know? How can they elaborate effectively? Here are six types of elaboration. You can find these on page 12 of your handout.

Six Types of Elaboration http://slideplayer.com/slide/10057728/ Offer Explanation— go in to greater depth use alternate language show the sequence

Six Types of Elaboration http://slideplayer.com/slide/10057728/ Provide Analysis— examine the parts or components show how they relate or work together description

Six Types of Elaboration http://slideplayer.com/slide/10057728/ Use Figurative Language— simile, metaphor, etc. analogy description

Six Types of Elaboration http://slideplayer.com/slide/10057728/ Show Relationships— hierarchy (order or ranking) compare/contrast cause/effect problem/solution etc.

Six Types of Elaboration http://slideplayer.com/slide/10057728/ Give Examples— concrete abstract multiple or alternate contexts

Six Types of Elaboration http://slideplayer.com/slide/10057728/ Identify Implications— extrapolate (extend the application to an unknown situation by assuming that existing trends will continue or similar methods will be applicable)

Six Types of Elaboration http://slideplayer.com/slide/10057728/ Identify Implications— interpolate (introduce something additional or extraneous between other things or parts)

How? Charts/Graphs/Tables Short Video Clips Pictures Quotes Political Cartoons, Maps, Posters, etc. I want to give my students plenty of practice interpreting the facts correctly before giving them a huge text set. I start off with a small graph. I’ve also used short video clips, pictures, quotes, even political cartoons. I also form specific questions for my students so they can learn different methods of elaboration. As we practice with these short texts, they gain confidence in interpretation, so they understand what it means to elaborate. This way, they can move beyond simply summarizing what they have read.

Let’s Practice! Here’s a little line graph I use to introduce my text set on “Do Smart Phones Make Us Stupid.” We’re going to start with analysis. On page 12 in your packet is a teacher elaboration guide that helps with the six different types of elaboration.

Analysis: From 2004 to 2013, teen ownership has almost doubled Analysis: From 2004 to 2013, teen ownership has almost doubled. How does this relate to test scores in writing, math, and critical reading scores going down? To help your students analyze the graph by examining what each line means, ask the question, “From 2004 to 2013, teen ownership has almost doubled. How does this relate to test scores in writing, math , and critical reading scores doing down?” We want students to examine the separate parts of the graph, look at each individual line, and show how these facts relate to each other, how does the evidence on the graph work together? Because all the student is given is a line graph, s/he is forced to interpret, coming up with their own words to analyze what the data means.

Implications: If this trend continues, what might the implications be? The student can also identify implications by extrapolating: “If this trend continues, what might the implications be?” Extrapolate: extend the application to an unknown situation by assuming that existing trends will continue or similar methods will be applicable.

Examples: Give a concrete example of why scores in math, reading, and writing are going down. Finally, students could be asked to give concrete examples of why scores in math, reading, and writing are going down. Answers could include, “Kids don’t text using complete sentences; social media encourages reading of short text rather than longer text, and the use of advanced calculators mean students don’t have to practice math skills. Students have just three different elaboration techniques: analysis, implications, and examples. And, they had to think and use their own words to elaborate instead of simply restating what they just read in the text. Chances are the student will also be required to forget about their own opinion because they have to rely on the data.

Let’s Practice! This one may require students to work in carefully selected groups, depending on who has background information on player positions in football.

Relationships: Compare/contrast which players suffer more concussions and why. First question, have a student show relationships of player positions to the group or class by comparing and contrasting which players suffer more concussions and why?

Explanation: Go into greater depth and explain why cornerbacks get the most concussions. Explain: Go into greater depth and explain why cornerbacks get the most concussions?

Figurative Language: Use figurative language to show why the quarterback is the least likely to get a concussion? Finally, use figurative language to show why the quarterback is the least likely to get a concussion. What can the quarterback be compared to? Use a simile or metaphor to illustrate. Once again, the students have now used three different elaborative techniques: relationships, explanations, and figurative language.

Let’s Practice! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQGEV0Pkr2Y Who We Are Is What We Leave Behind: Convenience | Subaru As students watch this 2 ½ minute video clip, have them jot down the parts of the video as they watch. Or, simply have them take notes as they watch. You may need to watch the video again as you ask each question.

Analysis: Describe the process of composting and its effects on national parks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQGEV0Pkr2Y Who We Are Is What We Leave Behind: Convenience | Subaru For this question, simply have students describe the process of composting and its effects on national parks. They can also show how waste removal and composting relate to each other and work together. You could also extend this question to ask how Subaru and the national parks work together and why. Remember, analysis means to examine the parts or components and show how they relate or work together and students can show what they know through description.

Examples: Give alternate contexts for the use of composting and plastics (besides national parks). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQGEV0Pkr2Y Who We Are Is What We Leave Behind: Convenience | Subaru Give an example of an alternate context for the use of composting and plastics and the adverse consequences of using plastics.

Implications (Extrapolate): If this trend continues, what’s going to happen? “In the movie, The Graduate, where he’s telling them to go into plastics because that made so much money— now, I’m like, well here we are and it’s showing up everywhere.” “Our reliance on plastics is a sheer sign that the system’s sick.” What are the implications? If this trend of using plastic continues, what’s going to happen?

Relationships: There are three groups of people shown in this video: Subaru, the compost facility, and visitors to Yosemite Park. What are the differences between the point of view of the three groups? Finally, show relationships: There are three groups of people shown in this video: Subaru, the compost facility, and visitors to Yosemite Park. What are the similarities and differences between the point of view of the three groups? What is the hierarchy at work here and is it effective? Why or why not? Each one of these elaboration techniques requires students to think and come up with their own text rather than simply repeating what they read in a text set because there is no text set.

Let’s Practice! Show a picture or a series of pictures. I’ve also used pictures from the Great Depression or the Dust Bowl in the 1930s.

Let’s Practice! In my class we read Journey to Topaz, a fictional account of the Japanese Internment camps.

Let’s Practice! Looking at pictures is also a great technique to teach elaboration because there is no text. Students have to think for themselves.

Explanation: Explain the sequence of events. For example, I have students examine these three photos and ask questions such as having students explain the sequence of events (see page 12 in your packet). They can be asked to show the relationship of this historical event to other historical events by comparing and contrasting. They can write a simile or metaphor to illustrate what is happening in these photos. Remember, explanation means to go into greater depth, use alternate language, or show the sequence. Show relationships means to show hierarchy (order or ranking), or other relationships such as compare/contrast, or cause/effect or problem/solution. Again, students have just used three different elaborative techniques: explanation, relationships, and figurative language.

Relationships: What is the relationship of this historical event to other historical events (compare/contrast).

Figurative Language: Write a simile or metaphor to illustrate what is happening in these photos.

Let’s Practice: Political Cartoons Political cartoons work well when asking students to interpret and elaborate.

Implications (Interpolate): How do every day people deal with the differences between promises made by politicians and the resulting realities?

Examples: Give an example of an alternate context Examples: Give an example of an alternate context? When might promises and reality be at odds?

Analysis: Describe some promises made and the resulting realities.

Let’s Practice: Cartoons These cartoons help students look at current issues that are going on in our world today.

Explain: Explain what this cartoon is trying to say.

Examples: Give specific examples of why this change has occurred over time.

Figurative Language: Write a simile comparing the differences between the two time periods.

Let’s Practice: Quotes 1963: I HAVE A DREAM (Martin Luther King, Jr.) In his iconic speech at the Lincoln Memorial for the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, King urged America to “make real the promises of democracy.” King synthesized portions of his earlier speeches to capture both the necessity for change and the potential for hope in American society. “Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny, and they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.” Once students have learned the different elaboration techniques, they can begin to look at small pieces of text such as this quote from Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream Speech.”

Let’s Practice: Quotes 1965: WE SHALL OVERCOME (Lyndon B. Johnson) On March 7th, marchers trying to get from Selma to Montgomery meet Alabama state troopers in a confrontation that becomes known as “Bloody Sunday.” That day results in a larger four-day march involving Martin Luther King, and a powerful speech by President Lyndon Johnson calling for the passage of the Voting Rights Act. “Rarely in any time does an issue lay bare the secret heart of America itself. Rarely are we met with a challenge, not to our growth or abundance, or our welfare or our security, but rather to the values and the purposes and the meaning of our beloved nation. The issue of equal rights for American Negroes is such an issue. And should we defeat every enemy, and should we double our wealth and conquer the stars, and still be unequal to this issue, then we will have failed as a people and as a nation. For, with a country as with a person, “what is a man profited if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” There is no Negro problem. There is no Southern problem. There is no Northern problem. There is only an American problem. And we are met here tonight as Americans--not as Democrats or Republicans; we're met here as Americans to solve that problem.” Make the text more complex by comparing it to another quote such as this one from Lyndon B. Johnson’s “We Shall Overcome” speech, given just two years later. What are the implications? Has this trend of inequality continued? Compare and contrast the two speeches. Use alternate examples to explain. Provide an analysis by showing how these two speeches work together. Give alternate contexts for this theme in our world today. You can see that the possibilities are endless.

Explanation: Use alternate language to explain the meaning of this quote. 1963: I HAVE A DREAM (Martin Luther King, Jr.) In his iconic speech at the Lincoln Memorial for the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, King urged America to “make real the promises of democracy.” King synthesized portions of his earlier speeches to capture both the necessity for change and the potential for hope in American society. “Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny, and they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.”

Examples: Give examples of distrust between the whites and the blacks. 1963: I HAVE A DREAM (Martin Luther King, Jr.) In his iconic speech at the Lincoln Memorial for the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, King urged America to “make real the promises of democracy.” King synthesized portions of his earlier speeches to capture both the necessity for change and the potential for hope in American society. “Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny, and they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.”

Relationships: Compare this event to events today (or in the past few years). 1963: I HAVE A DREAM (Martin Luther King, Jr.) In his iconic speech at the Lincoln Memorial for the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, King urged America to “make real the promises of democracy.” King synthesized portions of his earlier speeches to capture both the necessity for change and the potential for hope in American society. “Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny, and they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.”

Let’s Practice: Quotes 1965: WE SHALL OVERCOME (Lyndon B. Johnson) On March 7th, marchers trying to get from Selma to Montgomery meet Alabama state troopers in a confrontation that becomes known as “Bloody Sunday.” That day results in a larger four-day march involving Martin Luther King, and a powerful speech by President Lyndon Johnson calling for the passage of the Voting Rights Act. “Rarely in any time does an issue lay bare the secret heart of America itself. Rarely are we met with a challenge, not to our growth or abundance, or our welfare or our security, but rather to the values and the purposes and the meaning of our beloved nation. The issue of equal rights for American Negroes is such an issue. And should we defeat every enemy, and should we double our wealth and conquer the stars, and still be unequal to this issue, then we will have failed as a people and as a nation. For, with a country as with a person, “what is a man profited if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” There is no Negro problem. There is no Southern problem. There is no Northern problem. There is only an American problem. And we are met here tonight as Americans--not as Democrats or Republicans; we're met here as Americans to solve that problem.”

Analysis: How does this quote work together with the previous quote by Martin Luther King, Jr.? 1965: WE SHALL OVERCOME (Lyndon B. Johnson) On March 7th, marchers trying to get from Selma to Montgomery meet Alabama state troopers in a confrontation that becomes known as “Bloody Sunday.” That day results in a larger four-day march involving Martin Luther King, and a powerful speech by President Lyndon Johnson calling for the passage of the Voting Rights Act. “Rarely in any time does an issue lay bare the secret heart of America itself. Rarely are we met with a challenge, not to our growth or abundance, or our welfare or our security, but rather to the values and the purposes and the meaning of our beloved nation. The issue of equal rights for American Negroes is such an issue. And should we defeat every enemy, and should we double our wealth and conquer the stars, and still be unequal to this issue, then we will have failed as a people and as a nation. For, with a country as with a person, “what is a man profited if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” There is no Negro problem. There is no Southern problem. There is no Northern problem. There is only an American problem. And we are met here tonight as Americans--not as Democrats or Republicans; we're met here as Americans to solve that problem.”

Implications (Extrapolate): If inequalities continue, what will be the result? 1965: WE SHALL OVERCOME (Lyndon B. Johnson) On March 7th, marchers trying to get from Selma to Montgomery meet Alabama state troopers in a confrontation that becomes known as “Bloody Sunday.” That day results in a larger four-day march involving Martin Luther King, and a powerful speech by President Lyndon Johnson calling for the passage of the Voting Rights Act. “Rarely in any time does an issue lay bare the secret heart of America itself. Rarely are we met with a challenge, not to our growth or abundance, or our welfare or our security, but rather to the values and the purposes and the meaning of our beloved nation. The issue of equal rights for American Negroes is such an issue. And should we defeat every enemy, and should we double our wealth and conquer the stars, and still be unequal to this issue, then we will have failed as a people and as a nation. For, with a country as with a person, “what is a man profited if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” There is no Negro problem. There is no Southern problem. There is no Northern problem. There is only an American problem. And we are met here tonight as Americans--not as Democrats or Republicans; we're met here as Americans to solve that problem.”

Figurative Language: Draw an analogy between the two speeches. 1965: WE SHALL OVERCOME (Lyndon B. Johnson) “Rarely in any time does an issue lay bare the secret heart of America itself. Rarely are we met with a challenge, not to our growth or abundance, or our welfare or our security, but rather to the values and the purposes and the meaning of our beloved nation. The issue of equal rights for American Negroes is such an issue. And should we defeat every enemy, and should we double our wealth and conquer the stars, and still be unequal to this issue, then we will have failed as a people and as a nation. For, with a country as with a person, “what is a man profited if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” There is no Negro problem. There is no Southern problem. There is no Northern problem. There is only an American problem. And we are met here tonight as Americans--not as Democrats or Republicans; we're met here as Americans to solve that problem.” 1963: I HAVE A DREAM (Martin Luther King, Jr.) “Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny, and they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.”

Application in Writing: Fact: Source: Elaboration: Explanation Analysis Figurative Language Relationships Examples Implications Now, give the students a text set or have them use their own research articles. Use a simple graphic organizer with three rows: fact source, elaboration. Don’t get hung up on acronyms to organize the essay. Simply teach students that body paragraphs need to introduce the source, give a fact or quote from the text, and elaborate on that quote. In your packet, I’ve given you handouts to show you how I teach the five parts, not paragraphs, to effective writing as outlined by learnnc.org. Every student should understand that every essay they write should be focused, organized, have support and elaboration (with body paragraphs including the source, the fact, and elaboration—in other words, introduce the quote, give the quote, and interpret the quote using elaborative techniques), style, and conventions (pages 1 and 2 in your handout). I make students accountable for the parts of an essay, focus, organization, support and elaboration, so I can focus on the attribute: style and conventions. As students get older, they can also be held accountable for style and conventions (page 3 in your packet). I hold students by having them color code their essays (pages 4-7). I also have style and convention guides (pages 8 – 11).