Elaboration PAGE 16 IN YOUR PINK WRITING PACKET As we go along, please copy the information in blue onto your writing notes. PAGE 16 IN YOUR PINK WRITING PACKET Make copies of the elaboration notes page for the students. Have the students take notes on the first three types of elaboration. Then have them practice by adding one into an essay. The next week, have them repeat the same process with the last three. Use exemplarily papers from the WASL and have students locate the different types of elaboration

What is elaboration? Telling the reader more by using specific words, extensions (phrases and clauses), onion-like layering, or specific strategies. Showing rather than telling.

Types of Elaboration Used in the “dot ( )” of a t-chart

Most Important Type of Elaboration Evidence: (use formula TLQ) T: Transition, L: lead in (according to…), Q: quote (text based evidence) Commentary: facts, anecdotes, definitions, examples and details (5 sensory images) used to support the essay topic.

Other types of… ELABORATION STRATEGIES: As we go along, please copy the “definition” of each strategy next to the term given in your writing notes (focus on the blue text).

Somewhere on your page of notes, please add this: F: Facts A: Anecdotes D: Definitions E: Evidence examples 5: Use of Sensory (sight, sound, smell, taste and touch)

TRUE Facts and TRUE statistics WITH EVIDENCE Text based evidence and information. Cannot be fake (must be real) RESEARCH BASED (cite your sources) TEXT BASED EVIDENCE

Fact Example: Add what is needed to your example paragraph. A recent magazine article that I read, The Truth about Smoking, written by Dr. Paul Reskin stated: “Almost a quarter of high school students are smokers by the time they graduate. And roughly one third of all teenage smokers will eventually have a smoking related disease.”

Anecdotes: (self-story: STORY ABOUT “ME”) Short “self” personal story Make it interesting about “me” The only time writing could be fake (why? Because we won’t know if it is really true or not)

Anecdote Example: I even remember a time when there were so many people jam-packed in the hall, that a friend of mine got pushed down and hurt her hand. Another time I was almost hit in the face by a door because there was nowhere to move out of the way.

Definitions Are restatements of unfamiliar words or phrases to tell what they mean. Can use a dictionary – make sure to write as a sentence Or if it is something only you know about, you define it.

Definition example In my sport, soccer, a select team practices year round and competes in tournaments all over the region. You must try out to be on a select team, meaning it is made up of only the best, most premier players.

Examples Provide specific information about an idea Common transition words to use: for example, for instance Demonstrates what you mean Can also be “text based evidence”

For Example For example, he constantly goes through my video games without permission and never puts them away, leaving them spread out like litter on the floor. Also, he bites me for no reason leaving deep puncture marks.

5 Senses: Descriptions using imagery Are ways to create vivid images for the reader (5 senses). Paints a picture in our head Think imagery Sight, sound, smell, taste, touch/feel

Description Example The coffee hung on his breath like fog on a Seattle morning, that burnt rubber smell burnt my nostrils and tickled my taste buds all at the same time.

Review: REMEMBER THIS FOREVER! F: Facts A: Anecdotes D: Definitions E: Evidence examples 5: Use of Sensory (sight, sound, smell, taste and touch)

Text Based Evidence Elaboration At the bottom of your elaboration notes, please add the following information. Text based evidence, requires the authors name, article title and the evidence from the text. This could be used in the “F” or the “E” of your elaboration.

Text Based Evidence Elaboration: Copy onto your notes please. Oliver Stone, in “Where I Find My Heroes,” explains that heroes are everyday, common people, and most of what they do goes unheralded, unappreciated and not recognized.

My Own Example: It always rains in Seattle… Now you write elaborations for the prompt above. Be unique. Be ready to share one tomorrow. Evidence Example: Komo4 News provides great weather reports, but I can imagine they get bored always saying, “It always rains in Seattle.”