Personal Identity Chapter 9 By: Kelsi Didier, Tiffany McCulley, and Areli Valero

Icebreaker On a notecard write 5 things that make up your identity Categories that can help guide your choices: Race Religion Family (sister, brother, daughter, mother, father, etc.) Traits (smart, athletic, funny, outgoing, sensitive, etc.) Activities (sports, community service, binge watching Netflix, cooking, etc.) Future/current occupation Be prepared to share with the class

Question What did you want to be when you were little? Firefighter/police officer Doctor/vet Singer/dancer Surely, over the years you have changed your mind many times… Ballerina  Chef  Nurse  Teacher Childhood is the stepping stone to understanding your true self. Originally put into motion by either your parents or guardian.

What is there to explore? Define the self Discuss factors that shape the self Four communication processes that explain how we come to know ourselves Digital media’s role in personal identity Three guidelines to encourage personal growth

The Self The self is defined as “a multidimensional process that involves forming and acting from social perspectives that arise and evolve in communication with others and ourselves” (Wood 174).

Did you know that others perspectives influence how we see ourselves? There are two kinds of others whose perspectives influence how we see ourselves and what we believe is possible and desirable for us: Generalized Others “… represents one’s perception of the rules, roles, and attitudes endorsed by one’s group or community” (Wood 175). Particular Others “Specific people who are significant to the self and who influence self’s values, perspective and esteem” (Wood 175).

The Self: Key Points Developed through communication with others generalized others particular others Multidimensional: Physical self Emotional self Cognitive self Social self Professional self Perspectives on the self are a system-> all parts are interrelated Not innate/born with Not static or fixed but rather dynamic https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_you_are_always_changing?language=en (5:30)

Society Shapes The Self There are four key social categories recognized and considered important to identity in the United States today: Race Socio- economic class Gender Sexual Orientation

Particular Others Shape The Self Attachment Styles: - Secure - Fearful - Dismissive - Anxious/ Ambivalent Life Scripts

Secure Attachment Style “Develops when a child’s primary caregiver responds in a consistently attentive and loving way to a child” (Wood 178). Learn a sense of self-worth “I am loved” Positive view of others “People are loving and can be trusted”

Fearful Attachment Style “… when a caregiver communicates in negative, rejecting, or abusive ways with a child” (Wood 178). They are unworthy of love They fear that others will not love them Leads to them to be apprehensive and insecure in relationships https://youtu.be/aQd6SoeCFJE?t=50s

Dismissive Attachment Style “…promoted by caregivers who are uninterested in, rejecting of, or abusive toward children” (Wood 178) Does not accept the caregiver’s view of them as unlovable They dismiss others as unworthy* The children develop a positive view of themselves and a low regard for others and relationships Tend to view relationships as unnecessary/undesirable

Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment Style Most complex out of the four attachment styles Created by inconsistent* treatment from the caregiver Loving/attentive  indifferent/rejecting Unpredictable Create anxiety in a child Child assume they are the problem

Life Scripts “Guides to action based on rules for living and identity” (Wood 179). Initially your family communicates to you Our initial life scripts are formed when we are a child, usually before we are the age of five As adults life scripts... are an active process can be reviewed and changed Examples: “Save your money for a rainy day” “Always help others” “Look out for yourself”

How Do We Learn About The Self? Four communication processes: Reflected Appraisal Direct Definition Social Comparison Self-Disclosure

1. Reflected Appraisal “Looking-glass self” or mirror “The image and estimate of ourselves that we perceive others communicate to us” (Wood 179). Continue throughout our lives The start of self-concept

1. Reflected Appraisal How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days:https://youtu.be/qaqao1tH5Kk Mean Girls: https://youtu.be/CkvakGvvivU

2. Direct Definition “Communication that tells us who we are by explicitly labeling us and reacting to our behaviors” (Wood 180). Usually, family members are the first ones to give us a direct definition of ourselves Peers also give direct definitions of us Examples: “You’re my smart little girl” “You’re a big, strong boy” Dad’s pep talk: https://youtu.be/zNtPVgblzWY

Self-fulfilling Prophecies Reflected appraisals and direct definitions impact our self through the self-fulfilling prophecy “Acting in ways that bring about others’ or our own expectations or judgments of ourselves”(Wood 181). Can be upward or downward We often believe wrong things about ourselves Use labels that were once true Use labels that were never true

Self-fulfilling Prophecies Zootopia- Nicholas Wild (fox): https://youtu.be/ZKS_2ulNBYU (0:40) https://youtu.be/GTLWzW5iQag (0:00-1:15) (4:50-5:06) Shrek: https://youtu.be/6Dj0yIhAvck https://youtu.be/fdEvXgzQWPw?list=PLXWjqzjJK3s_-zSqtmVW_XyuNcz30vMQX (2:30)

3. Social Comparison “Comparing ourselves with others to form judgments of our talents, abilities, qualities, and so forth” (Wood 181). We do this in two ways: Compare ourselves with others to decide if we are like them or if we are different from them Compare ourselves to others to judge specific aspects It is normal for people to do this, but it is important to be cautious

3. Social Comparison

4. Self Disclosure “The revelation of personal information about ourselves that others are unlikely to discover in other ways” (Wood 182). Vary with amount of openness It is most likely to occur in a positive communication climate Example: The Other Woman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSNBxdmapro Johari Window Uncertainty reduction theory

Johari Window

Johari Window Hidden area: Unknown area: Frozen: https://youtu.be/Y348VaQMnvI Unknown area: Finding Nemo: https://youtu.be/NgcJGQgoy3o

Uncertainty Reduction Theory “The theory that people find uncertainty uncomfortable and so are motivated to use communication to reduce uncertainty” (Wood 184). High during initial encounters Self disclosure lowers uncertainty (be careful) Decreases over time in relationships Gender differences Example: UP: https://youtu.be/emkc1zmngwU

Digital Media’s Role in Personal Identity Importance of social media in providing us with direct definitions and reflected appraisals Examples Amongst teens Gender differences Cyber bullying Social media is a key source for social comparison Social media is a platform for skilled face work Edit, reedit our page Photoshop Post best photos High potential for manipulation and misrepresentation

Guidelines Reflect critically on social perspectives Commit to personal growth Set realistic goals Assess yourself fairly Create a supportive context for the change you seek Settings People (uppers, downers, vultures) Others: https://youtu.be/M_8lJYSycaE?t=7s (0:07-0:35) Self sabotage: https://youtu.be/Rlhi2lnLYlU

Discussion Question Do you think people change which parts of their self they choose to show in different environments? And if so, what are some examples?

Works Cited Wood, J. T. (2017). Communication mosaics: An introduction to the field of communication. 8th Edition. Boston, MA: Wadsworth.