Techniques of Arousal and Communication Chapter 10 Techniques of Arousal and Communication Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-1

Erogenous Zones Areas of the body that are particularly sensitive to sexual stimulation Examples: genitals and breasts Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-2

One-Person Sex Autoeroticism - sexual self-stimulation Examples of autoeroticism: Masturbation - self-stimulation Sexual fantansy - sexual thought or images that alter the person’s emotions or physiological state Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-3

Vibrators, Dildos, and Such Dildo - rubber or plastic cylinder, often shaped like a penis; it can be inserted into the vagina or anus - used in masturbation Vibrators - some shaped like a penis and others not, some are electric and some battery-operated; used for masturbation Body oils - popular for sexual use Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-4

Two-Person Sex Kissing Touching Hand stimulation of the male genitals Hand stimulation of the female genitals Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-5

The Other Senses Sights Smells Sounds Fantasy during two-person sex Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-6

Genital-Genital Stimulation: Positions of Intercourse Man on top - missionary position Woman on top Rear entry Side to side Other variations Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-7

Mouth-Genital Stimulation Cunnilingus - mouth stimulation of the female genitals Fellatio - mouth stimulation of the male genitals Sixty-Nining - simultaneous mouth-genital stimulation; also called soixante-neuf Anal intercourse - insertion of the penis into the partner’s rectum Anilingus - mouth stimulation of the partner’s anus Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-8

Techniques of Lesbian and Gays Mutual masturbation Fellatio Anal sex Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-9

Techniques of Lesbian and Gays Interfemoral intercourse - a man moves his penis between the thighs of the other Tribadism - a woman lies on top of another and moves rhythmically in order to produce sexual pleasure Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-10

Aphrodisiacs A substance that increases sexual desire There is no known substance that works well as an aphrodisiac Examples used: oysters, bananas, powdered rhinoceros horn, bull’s testicles, amyl nitrite, butyl nitrite Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-11

Anaphrodisiacs A substance that decreases sexual desire Examples used: potassium nitrate (saltpeter), cyproterone acetate Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-12

Should Intercourse and Orgasm Be the Goal? Our culture has traditionally held the belief that a sexual encounter should climax with intercourse and orgasm Orgasm is good, but a large part of pleasure is the buildup to orgasm Another goal of sex has been simultaneous orgasm Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-13

From Inexperience to Boredom Not everyone is as experienced as society expects May cause performance anxiety What to do accept inexperience “how-to” manuals communicate Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-14

Boredom Possible consequence of long-term sexual relationships What to do communicate sex manuals rejuvenate other aspects of relationship don’t expect too much from sex Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-15

Communication and Sex Communication and relationships - positive communication is important in developing and maintaining intimate relationships Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-16

Communication and Sex Self-disclosure - telling personal things about yourself Closely related to satisfaction with the relationship Helps a relationship progress Patterns of self-disclosure can predict whether a couple stays together or not Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-17

Being an Effective Communicator Good messages Complain rather than criticize; use “I” language Don’t mind read - make assumptions about what partner thinks or feels Documenting - giving specific examples of the issue being discussed Offer limited choices - offering a set of acceptable alternatives Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-18

Leveling and Editing Leveling - telling your partner what you are feeling by stating your thoughts clearly, simply, and honestly Editing - censoring or not saying things that would be deliberately hurtful to your partner or that are irrelevant Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-19

Listening Listening - actively trying to understand what the other person is saying Nondefensive listener - focusing on what your partner is saying and feeling, and not immediately becoming defensive or counterattacking with complaints of your own Paraphrasing - saying, in your own words, what you thought your partner meant Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-20

Validating Validating - telling your partner that, given his or her point of view, you can see why he or she thinks a certain way Drawing your partner out Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-21

Body Talk: Nonverbal Communication Communication not through words, but through the body Examples: eye contact, tone of voice, touching Accentuate the positive - happy couples make more positive communications Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-22

Fighting Fair A set of rules designed to make arguments constructive rather than destructive Checking out sexy signals Ambiguous messages can lead to feelings of hurt and rejection, or to anger Don’t make any assumptions about the meaning of ambiguous messages Copyright © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Permission required for reproduction or display. 1-23