Composing Business Messages CHAPTER 3 Composing Business Messages

Collecting Information Search manually (books, magazines, journals). Access electronically (Internet, databases, compact disks). Go to the source (interviews, surveys, questionnaires, focus groups). Conduct scientific experiments (measure variables using control groups).

Informal Research Look in your organization’s files. Talk with your boss. Interview the target audience. Conduct an informal survey. Brainstorm for ideas.

Organizing Information Into an Outline

Tips for Making Outlines Define main topic in title. Divide the topic into three to five main points. Break the components into subpoints. Make each component exclusive (no overlapping). Don't put a single item under a major component. Use details and evidence to support subpoints.

details and explanations DIRECT STRATEGY Organizing Business Messages Main idea comes first followed by details and explanations

Organizing Business Messages Explanation precedes main idea Organizing Business Messages INDIRECT STRATEGY

Advantages Saves reader’s time Sets a proper frame of mind DIRECT STRATEGY Saves reader’s time Sets a proper frame of mind Prevents frustration Appears businesslike Advantages INDIRECT STRATEGY Respects feelings of audience Encourages a fair hearing Minimizes a negative reaction

Useful when Receiver is receptive DIRECT STRATEGY Receiver is receptive Receiver requires no education about topic Message is routine Useful when INDIRECT STRATEGY Receiver may be upset or hostile Receiver must be persuaded or educated Message is sensitive

Effective Sentences Complete sentences have subjects Phrases Clauses Complete sentences have subjects and verbs and make sense (are capable of standing alone). subject verb Employees send many e-mail messages.

Effective Sentences dependent clause independent clause Complete Sentences Phrases Clauses Clauses also have subjects and verbs. Independent clauses can stand alone. Dependent clauses rely on independent clauses for their meaning. dependent clause independent clause When you speak, you reveal yourself.

Effective Sentences Complete Sentences Phrases Clauses Phrases are groups of related words without subjects and verbs. phrase phrase In the afternoon, I work at the mall.

Even though the pay was low. Many candidates applied. Avoid sentence fragments. Fragment Even though the pay was low. Many candidates applied. Revision: Even though the pay was low, many candidates applied.

Revisions: Avoid Avoid run- sentence on (fused) fragments. sentences. Fused Sentences Two candidates applied only one was hired. Revisions: Two candidates applied. Only one was hired. Two candidates applied; only one was hired. Two candidates applied, but only one was hired.

Revisions: Avoid Avoid run- comma- sentence on (fused) splice fragments. comma- splice sentences. Avoid run- on (fused) Comma Splice Many were qualified, Jeff was hired. Revisions: Many were qualified. Jeff was hired. Many were qualified; Jeff was hired. Many were qualified; however, Jeff was hired. Many were qualified, but Jeff was hired.

Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices. Quick Check You can create a Web-based job portfolio it will impress potential employers. You can create a Web-based job portfolio; it will impress potential employers. Send a scannable résumé. When you apply for a job. Send a scannable résumé when you apply for a job.

Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices. Although technical skills are important. Communication skills are also in great demand. Although technical skills are important, communication skills are also in great demand. College used to be for young people, however many older students now seek degrees. College used to be for young people; however, many older students now seek degrees.

Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices. Technology is changing the business world people are writing more messages than ever before. Technology is changing the business world. People are writing more messages than ever before. OR: Technology is changing the business world; people are . . . .

Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices. Executives are busy, they won't read wordy messages and reports. Executives are busy. They won't read wordy messages and reports. OR: Executives are busy; they won't read . . . .

Emphasis Through Mechanics Underlining: Which of these methods do you prefer? Italics and Boldface: The use of boldface and italics captures the reader’s attention. All Caps: Notice how EXPENSE-FREE VACATION stands out.

Emphasis Through Mechanics Dashes: Other methods–including dashes–may be used. Tabulation: Listing items vertically emphasizes them: 1. First item 2. Second item 3. Third item

White space Color Lines Boxes Columns Titles Headings Subheadings  Which of these other means of achieving mechanical emphasis is/are appropriate in business letters? Discuss any differences with the suggested answers provided.

White space Color Lines Boxes Columns Titles Headings Subheadings  Which of these other means of achieving mechanical emphasis is/are appropriate in memos? Discuss any differences with the suggested answers provided.

White space Color Lines Boxes Columns Titles Headings Subheadings  Which of these other means of achieving mechanical emphasis is/are appropriate in e-mail messages? Discuss any differences with the suggested answers provided.

White space Color Lines Boxes Columns Titles Headings Subheadings  Which of these other means of achieving mechanical emphasis is/are appropriate in reports? Discuss any differences with the suggested answers provided.

Emphasis and De-emphasis Through Style To emphasize an idea Use a vivid expression, such as in bug-free software rather than dependable software. Label the idea with expressions such as more importantly, the principal reason, or the best alternative. Put the important idea first or last in the sentence. Put the important idea in a simple sentence or in an independent clause.

Emphasis and De-emphasis Through Style To de-emphasize an idea Use general, rather than specific, words (some customers complained, rather than 125 customers complained). Place the idea in a dependent clause connected to an independent clause containing a positive idea. Although items cannot be returned for cash, you will receive store credit for any returned purchases.

Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs Active-voice verbs show the subject performing the action. Most major employers require drug testing. (Active voice; the subject is acting) Dr. Smith recommended Tina for the job.

Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs In passive-voice sentences, the subject is being acted upon. Passive-voice verbs require helper verbs: Drug testing is required by most major employers. (Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon) Tina was recommended for the job by Dr. Smith.

Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs Use the active voice for most business writing. Use the passive voice to emphasize an action or the recipient of the action–rather than the actor (New laws were passed; drunk drivers were targeted). Use the passive voice to break bad news (Although your lease cannot be renewed, we can offer . . . ).

Convert the following sentences to active voice Convert the following sentences to active voice. You may have to add a subject. Our membership meeting was postponed by the president. The president postponed our membership meeting. Quick Check The résumés of job candidates are sorted quickly by the software program Resumix. The software program Resumix sorts résumés of job candidates quickly.

Convert the following sentences to active voice Convert the following sentences to active voice. You may have to add a subject. All team messages are sent by e-mail. Team members send all messages by e-mail. Drug tests are required of all new employees. The company requires drug tests for all new employees.

Convert the following sentences to active voice Convert the following sentences to active voice. You may have to add a subject. We were given our orders by the manager. The manager gave us our orders. Our intranet is used by employees to complete forms. Employees use our intranet to complete forms.

Convert the following sentences to passive voice. We must delay shipment of your merchandise because of heavy demand. Your merchandise shipment must be delayed because of heavy demand. Management rejected our plan. Our plan was rejected by management.

Convert the following sentences to passive voice. The technician could not install the computer program. The computer program could not be installed. Someone did not submit the accounting statement on time. The accounting statement was not submitted on time.

Developing Parallelism Parallel expression uses balanced construction. Match nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, phrases with phrases, and clauses with clauses. Poor Parallel Training sessions have been stimulat- ing and a challenge. Training sessions have been stimulat- ing and challenging. (Matches -ing verbals)

Developing Parallelism Poor Parallel We are very concerned with the quality of raw materials, where they are located, and how much it costs to transport them. We are very concerned with the quality, location, and transportation costs of raw materials. (Matches nouns)

Developing Parallelism Poor Parallel Serena takes the telephone orders, Matt locates the items in the ware- house, and the items are sent by Yolanda. Serena takes the telephone orders, Matt locates the items in the ware- house, and Yolanda sends the items. (Matches active-voice verbs)

How could parallelism be improved in the following sentence? Quick Check Our knowledge management system focuses on the collecting, storage, and sharing of best practices. Our knowledge management system focuses on the collecting, storing, and sharing of best practices.

How could parallelism be improved in the following sentence? The fall seminar is in October, December is scheduled for the winter seminar, and May is the month of the spring seminar. The fall seminar is in October, the winter seminar is in December, and the spring seminar is in May.

How could parallelism be improved in the following sentence? We are pleased to recommend Elizabeth because she has sincerity, she is reliable, and she works with diligence. We are pleased to recommend Elizabeth because she is sincere, reliable, and diligent.

Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers For clarity, modifiers must be close to the words they describe or limit. Be particularly careful to place a logical subject immediately after an introductory verbal phrase.

Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers Poor Revised After considering the problem carefully, new procedures were suggested by management. After considering the problem carefully, management suggested new procedures.

Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers Poor Revised Any student has full online privileges who is enrolled in the college. Any student who is enrolled in the college has full online privileges.

Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers Poor Revised It’s hard to under- stand why employees would not go to our technical support staff with software problems. It’s hard to under- stand why employees with software problems would not go to our technical support staff.

Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers Poor Revised Using a search engine, the Web site was finally located. Using a search engine, we finally located the Web site.

Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. Retain the introductory phrases. To be hired, two years of experience is required. To be hired, one must have two years of experience. Quick Check Dipped in butter, you can really enjoy a fine lobster. Dipped in butter, a fine lobster can truly be enjoyed.

Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. Retain the introductory phrases. By advertising extensively, all open jobs were filled quickly. By advertising extensively, we filled all open jobs quickly. After leaving the office, Jeff's car would not start. After leaving the office, Jeff could not start his car.

Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. Retain the introductory phrases. She died in the house in which she was born at the age of 88. At the age of 88, she died in the house in which she was born. Despite being paralyzed, doctors hoped that Mark would walk again. Despite Mark's paralysis, doctors hoped that he would walk again.

To receive an employment form, fill out this application. Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. To receive an employment form, fill out this application. (Tricky!) The sentence is correct as it stands. “You” is the understood subject of a command.

Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence To help guide your reader or listener from one thought to another, develop coherence by using one of these devices: Repeat a key idea or key words. Next month we plan to launch a promotion for our new Web site. The promotion will involve newspaper and TV campaigns.

Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence Use a pronoun. Considerable interest is being shown in our extended certificates of deposit. They are more profitable when left on deposit for long periods.

Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence Use an appropriate transitional expression. Time Association before, after first, second meanwhile next until when, whenever

Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence Contrast although but however instead nevertheless on the other hand Cause–Effect consequently for this reason hence therefore

Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence Additional Idea furthermore in addition likewise moreover similarly Illustration in this way for example TIP: Paragraphs with eight or fewer printed lines look inviting and readable.

Composing the First Draft Complete all necessary research. Find a quiet place to concentrate and work. Prohibit calls, visitors, and interruptions. Organize information into an outline. Decide whether to write quickly (freewriting) OR revise as you go. Imagine you are talking to a reader or listener.

END