Chapter 6 Writing Process Phase 3: Revise, Proofread, Evaluate Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e Mary Ellen Guffey Copyright © 2008

Revise for Clarity, Conciseness, and Readability Keep it simple. Keep it conversational. Remove opening fillers. Eliminate redundancies. Reduce compound prepositions. Purge empty words. Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

Revise for Clarity, Conciseness, and Readability Kick the noun habit. Dump trite “business” phrases. Develop parallelism (balanced construction). Apply graphic highlighting. Measure readability. Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

Keep it Simple Avoid indirect, pompous language. Foggy: It would not be inadvisable for you to affix your signature at this point in time. Clear: You may sign now. Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

Keep it Conversational Use natural, familiar language. Formal: Our accounting department takes pleasure in informing you that we have credited your account for the aforementioned sum of $100. Conversational: We’re happy to credit your account for $100. Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

Remove Opening Fillers Avoid wordiness. Wordy: There are four menu items we must promote. Concise: We must promote four new menu items. Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

Eliminate Redundancies Say it only once! collect together contributing factor past history basic fundamentals personal opinion perfectly clear unexpected surprise few in number Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

Reduce Compound Prepositions Say it more concisely. at such time, at which time at this point in time due to the fact that, inasmuch as at a later date despite the fact that when now because later although Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

Purge Empty Words Unclutter your sentences. As for the field of athletic shoes, the degree of profits sagged. This is to inform you that we have a toll- free service line. Not all members who are registered will attend the conference. Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

Purge Empty Words Unclutter your sentences. As for the field of athletic shoes, the degree of profits sagged. This is to inform you that we have a toll- free service line. Not all members who are registered will attend the conference. Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

Purge Empty Words Unclutter your sentences. As for athletic shoes, profits sagged. We have a toll-free service line. Not all registered members will attend the conference. Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

Kick the Noun Habit Use simple, dynamic verbs. conduct an investigation of give consideration to make a decision about perform an analysis of take action investigate consider decide analyze act Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

Dump Trite “Business” Phrases Eliminate stale, puffed-up expressions. as per your suggestion pursuant to your request enclosed please find please feel free to call thank you in advance as you suggested as you requested enclosed is please call thank you Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

Dump Trite “Business” Phrases Eliminate stale, puffed-up expressions. Trite: Pursuant to your request, enclosed please find a job application. Improved: As requested, we have enclosed a job application. Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

Develop Parallel Expression Express similar ideas in balanced, matching constructions. Not parallel: We can collect information, store it, and it can also be updated. Parallel: We can collect, store, and update information. Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

Develop Parallel Expression Express similar ideas in balanced, matching constructions. Not parallel: She is conscientious, a hard worker, and pays attention to detail. Parallel: She is conscientious, hard-working, and detail-oriented. Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

End Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e