Emotional Intelligence

AGENDA Basics of Emotional Intelligence Assessing Current Emotional Intelligence Emotional Intelligence and Communication Common Workplace Emotions

What is Emotional Intelligence? Textbook Definition: The learned ability to identify, understand, experience, and express emotions in healthy and productive ways. The learned ability to communicate messages effectively and interpret messages correctly.

3 Cornerstones of Emotional Intelligence Awareness Being aware of all the emotions involved Understanding Understanding the impact on communication Influence Using this knowledge to influence situations

Assessing Your EI

Awareness Self-Awareness Body Language, Bias and Prejudice, Political View, Learning Style, Team Role Awareness of Others Body Language, Political Climate, Team Dynamics, Previous Communication Situational Awareness Societal Issues, Previous Leadership, Previous Results

Open Posture In an open posture, you might expect to see someone directly facing you with hands apart on the arms of the chair. An open posture can be used to communicate openness or interest in someone and a readiness to listen. Think about how you are demonstrating an open posture here in class. What about when you meet with others? Trainer: Demonstrate various open positions and call out people in the class who are demonstrating open positions.

Closed Posture Someone seated in a closed position might have his/her arms folded, legs crossed or be positioned at a slight angle from the person with whom they are interacting. A closed posture might imply discomfort or disinterest. When you are closed, you are saying “don’t talk to me.” Trainer: Do NOT call anyone out, but mention how sometimes in classes we have closed body position and what that says to the trainer/facilitator. Demonstrate some closed body positions. It is good to talk about crossing arms over chest. For some people this is a comfortable way to sit or stand and does not necessarily mean that they are “closed.” However, it is important that people do NOT cross their arms when they are making a first impression. The body language can be better interpreted when people are familiar with each other and then the crossing of arms may not be a big deal.

ANGER Anger occurs when expectations are not met. Neck and/or face is red or flushed. Baring of teeth and snarling. Clenched fists. Leaning forward and invasion of body space. Other aggressive body language. Use of power body language.

A 'cold sweat'. Pale face. Dry mouth, which may be indicated by licking lips, drinking water, rubbing throat. Not looking at the other person. Damp eyes. Trembling lip. Varying speech tone. Speech errors. Voice tremors. Visible high pulse (noticeable on the neck or movement of crossed leg. Tension in muscles: clenched hands or arms, elbows drawn in to the side, jerky movements, legs wrapped around things. Gasping and holding breath. Fidgeting. Defensive body language, including crossed arms and legs and generally drawing in of limbs. Ready body language (for fight-or- flight).

FEAR, ANXIETY, NERVOUSNESS Fear occurs when basic needs are threatened. There are many levels of fear, from mild anxiety to blind terror. The many bodily changes caused by fear make it easy to detect. Shifting of position. Looking down. Playing with hair, face, neck. Hands constantly moving.

SADNESS Sadness is the opposite of happiness and indicates a depressive state. Drooping of the body. Trembling lip. Flat speech tone. Tears.

EMBARASSMENT Embarrassment may be caused by guilt or transgression of values. Neck and/ or face is red or flushed. Looking down or away from others. Not looking them in the eye. Grimacing, false smile, changing the topic or otherwise trying to cover up the embarrassment.

SURPRISE Surprise occurs when things occur that were not expected. Raised eyebrows. Widening of eyes. Open mouth. Sudden backward movement.

HAPPINESS Happiness occurs when goals and needs are met. General relaxation of muscles. Smiling (including eyes). Open body language.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: What is your body language “norm”? What is your body language “tell” when you are feeling positive? What is your body language “tell” when you are feeling negative? What message do you think you communicate most frequently at work? What areas for improvement do you have in terms of body language? Trainer: Now that everyone has learned all about body language, time to do some self-reflection. Have participants get into small groups and discuss the following questions. After they have had time to discuss in groups, ask for people to share responses with the whole group. Finish with a discussion of the following question as a large group….what are you going to do differently moving forward?

Common Workplace Emotions Anger Sadness Disappointment Frustration Boredom Anticipation Envy Joy Hope Trust Confidence

Understanding Meaning of Emotions Expression vs. Repression Acknowledging Emotions Talking about Emotions Open and Honest Communication

Influence Empathy: The ability to validate someone’s feelings; to understand and accept emotions based on personal experience Demonstrating Empathy Individual Motivators Individual Personalities Individual Treatment Emotions have more power than words